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I love him dearly but.....

(89 Posts)
phoenix Sat 16-Mar-19 19:06:22

Thank you all, I aim to amuse, although I understand that not all members will appreciate it!

kittylester Sat 16-Mar-19 19:04:17

Brill, phienix.

I'd add, will happy wander round the village before rushing home for a poo then rushing out again!

Maybelle Sat 16-Mar-19 18:53:14

So funny, thanks for giving me a giggle

EllanVannin Sat 16-Mar-19 18:48:59

That was so funny------ending was a bit abrupt though as I was just getting into it and feeling quite nostalgic, well up to the ablutions anyway.

Jomarie Sat 16-Mar-19 18:05:12

I was echoing/agreeing with you up until the "displays of affection" (we sleep in different rooms) and then relieved as I continued to read that it was your cat!!
Thanks for a chirpy post grin

glammanana Sat 16-Mar-19 17:59:10

Your threads are such a joy to read phoenix
I was wondering how Oliver Sprout was doing ?

MamaCaz Sat 16-Mar-19 17:56:00

? ??

Gonegirl Sat 16-Mar-19 17:54:30

merlot Please don't. grin

Gonegirl Sat 16-Mar-19 17:53:29

You were right too Phoenix. grin

phoenix Sat 16-Mar-19 17:52:43

Just thought a "bit of fun" thread wouldn't go amiss!

merlotgran Sat 16-Mar-19 17:52:18

I'm so relieved it's not Mr.P who washes his bits in polite company, especially as it would require a pose similar to playing a double bass.

Gonegirl Sat 16-Mar-19 17:50:13

Quite relieved really when reading the penultimate paragraph. shock

Gonegirl Sat 16-Mar-19 17:49:22

I guessed it was the cat!!! grin grin grin

phoenix Sat 16-Mar-19 17:47:47

Hello all, usual good wishes!

Well, as the OP says, I truly do love him, but wish:

He would wipe his feet (a mat is in place) and not leave prints everywhere

Not be so damn clumsy! Things on the table should stay on the table!

He would not make such a mess with his food confused he is surely old enough to be able to eat without making a mess!

Not interfere with the way the curtains hang, they are fine as they are.

Leave the cushions on the sofa alone, ditto the last 6 words above.

Refrain from bringing home things that he thinks I might be pleased with, which I then have to tactfully dispose of.

Feel the need for displays of affection at odd hours of the night, when I was happily asleep. blush

Make such a big thing of blatantly washing your (ahem) nether regions when we have company.

Oliver Sprout, you are a dear cat, and we do love you, but there is room for improvement!