I love him dearly but.....

Dumbfounded till I realised it was a cat ho ho love the post
Needed the laugh thank you

Pinching your seat when you get up to go to the loo etc.
Wanting to play when it’s bedtime. Fussy with he’s food.
Don’t we love our cats.

I must add throwing up in the middle of the room when said visitors are here???

I can beat the live frog. A cat of mine, staying with my parents while I was abroad for a fortnight's holiday, woke my mother in the middle of the night, by bringing in a very large grasshopper, letting it go, and then proceeding to catch it again in the dining-room.

But Phoenix, surely you know that all cats and dogs believe they are doing you a great favour by walking carefully round the mat with their dirty paws. It keeps the mat nice and clean.

The same applies to sheets of newspaper spread on the floor we have just washed or polished.

lemongrove. ?

I didn't catch on until the last paragraph!!

Phew! I was getting worried when it got to nether regions.
I have read it out to our 4 cats & they cannot see what the problem is. Sounds all perfectly fine to them.
They are rather concerned you make no mention of sitting on kitchen work surfaces as they find this is guaranteed to get an immediate & noisy re-action & they hope Oliver Sprout will try this soon. They find it great fun.

Absolutely wonderful! needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks very much.

Love it???

Oh dear, I thought it was your husband! I worried he had a mental problem, washing his nether regions with an audience. Great post. I love it.

???

Thanks Phoenix ?

That was very funny! Like everyone else the intimate washing had me puzzled. I like your humour.

forgot to add - woken once in dead of night by strange noise on carpet. Switched light on to find a 'gift' of a live frog hopping around.

Thank you Phoenix, so good to have a laugh!

Brilliant Phoenix

Ha ha, ditto my 3 cats!

Thank you for making me smile this morning. I have a feline lodger who acts exactlythe same. I could add one more thing. He suffers from flatulence and can clear a room in minutes! ??

Mine is nowhere to be found until I call him for dinner,and hides whenever guests arrive ( we are talking about husbands aren’t we?)

I think a lot of it could have applied to many of our husbands. Always got pepper over our table and he uses a tray. The throw is always a mess, or lost over the back of his chair. Luckily he doesn’t leave hair everywhere. Lol

I remember an excruciating evening of the church youth club in the draconian vicars drawing room. Not many of us turned up and squirmed through a dire, scratchy record of the Highway Code sung to the tune of the 23rd Psalm.

During this agonising performance the dog burst in and proceeded to wash his privates in the middle of the room. No-one was near enough to kick the mutt. Nearly wet myself trying not to.laugh.

I’d been feeling jealous that you had a husband who worried about how the curtains and cushions look and who brings you presents. It was quite a relief to read it was OliverSprout.

Love the light hearted threads - I think you must be a scream to work with Phoenix. Also loved the bit about Sodapops dog. ?