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(7 Posts)
NanKate Mon 11-Mar-19 15:15:38

I often find it hard to understand why some women in their 60s or 70s go abroad on holiday, meet young men who woo them and the next thing you know they get married and the men start leeching money off them. Are these women mad ?

Recently a friend of mine in her 80s said how helpful and kind some of the staff are on the many cruises she goes on. One of the staff invited her friend to visit his family when they docked in the town he lived in. She went for the day and was treated like a queen.

Sometime later the friend and herself were contacted by this man saying he couldn’t finish off paying his son’s Uni fees could they send some money. The friend who visited the family wanted to give him £6,000 she was persuaded that was too much but she still sent £3,000 ?

My friend came round to me so distressed last week saying that now the man said he needed money for health care as he had cancer and could not afford the treatment! I told her to ignore the emails as he would now ramp up the emotional blackmail. Unfortunately she opened up the next email and as predicted had sent photos of him in hospital and copies of documents about his illness. She was so upset even though she knew this was 99% untrue. She has now got all his emails blocked but we worry about her friend who is very naive and although the man does not have the friend’s email he does have her address.

By the way he lost his job working for the cruise ship as he was writing to a number of rich women. He now works for another cruise boat company !

My friend said he was such a nice kind man!

KatyK Mon 11-Mar-19 15:23:55

I've read about many such cases and seen some of the women interviewed on TV. One lady was, I believe, an eminent college professor, attractive and obviously intelligent. She fell for an online scam, a man she had never met who came up with all sorts of scenarios as to why he needed money. She lost everything and she had never met him. I cannot understand it myself but who knows. Loneliness maybe?

M0nica Mon 11-Mar-19 17:17:02

I think some people always need to have someone special in their in their life and feel emotionally vulnerable without someone, Women in particular, in the past, including our generation, were often brought up to measure their success in life by whether they are married. That deeply inculcated belief, is still there no matter how financially independent and successful their career, so if they find themselves alone they are vulnerable to advances from younger men.

It is not just women, a gay friend of my sister, was left alone when his partner of over 30 years died, within a year he was wooed and won by a much younger male Thai bride, and is slowly and quietly being bled dry by this young man. My sister doubts the marriage will last longer than the money.

Like others I find it difficult to understand, but I wasn't conditioned to measure my success by having a partner and I am a self-contained person who is quite happy in their own cmpany.

Telly Mon 11-Mar-19 18:29:07

They say that love is blind and it certainly seems to be the case. Plus of course when you get older loneliness does make people more vulnerable. Sad world, but nothing new I am sorry to say.

Liz46 Mon 11-Mar-19 18:44:24

We saw quite a few cases of this in The Gambia. Ladies in their sixties meet fit, young men. The lady buys a house and while she is back in Great Britain, the young man's family move in to 'look after the house'.

I sat next to a lady on the plane going out and her young husband was sitting playing with a rubiks cube!

On the way back a Welsh pensioner was sobbing because she had left her boyfriend behind. Other holidaymakers were consoling her by saying 'Never mind, he will be following you soon'.

I had some problems getting past passport control in Cuba when the official saw the Gambia stamp. He was asking if I had relations in Gambia. I was confused and finally my husband stepped forward and firmly said 'No'. They must have been worried that I was taking aids into Cuba!

I sometimes buy magazines to read on the plane and on the way to Gambia I bought one with the headline 'Granny went to Gambia and came back with aids'.

KatyK Mon 11-Mar-19 19:15:34

Yes I've seen one or two stories about women going to the Gambia. I always say walk a mile in someone else's shoes and don't judge, which I try not to. However, speaking personally, I know what I see when I look in the mirror and I am realistic enough to know that no young man is going to fancy me (nor would I want one too). The only thing I would give a young man who said he did, is directions to Specsavers.

M0nica Tue 12-Mar-19 19:21:16

There is no fool like an old fool (male or female). It is just that society looks much more kindly when an old man marries a younger woman from some less wealthy country.