What scares you?

frogs...frogs scare me

I share that fear Rosie, (sad)

Izabella❤

So many people going through such sad times.

Izabell

Izabella

Izabella ?

Izabella

I have macular degeneration but the dry variety for which there is no cure. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to read in bed at night- a particular pleasure of mine. I would love to be in a long queue for gene therapy but as there has been a trial of one that is not going to happen anytime soon.

I also worry about Tara my cat. She has found out the hard way that I cannot see her when I go to the loo during the night. I switch on the light in the bathroom but not on the way there so she now moves rapidly if in my path.

I make sure she has plenty of dry food and water in case I cannot get to the kitchen.

I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a couple of weeks ago and knowing my future is a nightmare but I just have to get on with it. Prior to that my biggest fear was losing my independence. ? my new fear is for my OH and the unwelcome burden I will become

I tend not to dwell on what might be, I have an auto immune condition which has taken me from super fit to fit for nothing in the past 10 years. I've had 3 strokes and my joints are literally falling apart and causing extreme pain. I've had a near fatal bleed into my pelvis and walk a fine line between thinning my blood and avoiding both clots and bleeds. I take each day as it comes.

My brother died 18 months ago after a stroke which led to gangrene and eventually sepsis.

He was only 68 and still working when it happened. He was a well known QC and made his living through the power of his speech and argument.

Seeing him in that last year barely able to speak, unable to sit up or swallow and with his thoughts in a total jumble was heartbreaking. He could communicate enough to say he wanted to die and eventually refused further treatment.

Though he had wonderful care you wouldn't put an animal through what happened to him.

That sort of thing is my dread, being helpless and unable to do anything about it.

Family member was told high risk of developing dementia after tests for developing memory problems.
This was over 5 years ago.
Watching their slow decline with them knowing what is happening is painful for both of us.
I would rather not know my fate.

I fear losing my ability to look after myself by becoming blind or suffering dementia. To need someone to get me in and out of bed, wash and dress me and help with the loo. I would hate that - wouldn't we all?
We can only make the best of things and try to keep the bad stuff at bay if it is within our control - and some things are just chance. Make the most of life while we're here.

I try not to think about it. If my mind starts to dwell on it I consciously make myself think of something else as there’s nothing I can do about it.

I do worry about my cats at times if I happen to wonder about " leaving " them. I've got 3 though one is what I call a free spirit who would find his way but my other two who sleep on my bed and don't move until I get up are a source of worry as I know they'd fret and be difficult to re- settle. But--------the best thing to do is to ( try ) and not think about it.

Having seen far too much of it, dementia, and any other condition where I'm unable both to care for myself, and speak (with full mental capacity) for myself.

Hence my Health and Welfare Power of Attorney has an added section to say that in any such circs I absolutely do not want any life-prolonging treatment: palliative care only, please.

Plus, in those same circs I never want my dds to have the worry and burden of looking after me. Whatever I may say later, if and when dementia has shot my my understanding to,pieces, just find me a nice care home, thanks.

I see no point in worrying about things I can do nothing about and do not even know whether they will happen.

I have made it perfectly clear to my children that I expect them to put me in a care home if I can no longer live independently, I am fortunate to have the capital to fund this. I have also made it very clear that they are not to stretch themselves to breaking point trying to care for me themselves. Neither of my children live less than 100 miles away, so them even thinking of caring for me in my own home is a complete non-starter.

The poor woman.

My darling aunt has spent the last 2 years in a nursing home after a stroke which left her paralysed and speechless. She can see, hear and nod her head during ‘conversation’. She was such a vibrant lady who lived a very active life and this is heartbreaking for her and our family.

In answer to your question absent, a stroke, cancer and alzheimer’s are the three which I would actually want to make my own decision when to end my life. Being unable to make that decision is what scares me.

I hope that jane’s above information allows you some peace of mind that there is a beneficial treatment available for your condition.

Fingers crossed for you.

Although you have been through the worst thing ever, I admire your spirit MissA.

Getting dementia or Alzheimer's disease is my biggest fear, nothing else worries me quite asmuch as that. I worked in a nursing home for EMI for a few years and, although the staff there were unfailingly kind and patient with the residents, it was heart breaking to watch the steady decline and gradual falling away of the original person. But even worse than that, was witnessing that some residents, once bought into the home, had very few visits from their families and friends and in some cases none at all. Please don't let that be me.

Thanks B9 I've tried a few things but nothing has helped. Never mind.

I'm vaguely uneasy about things, but not scared.
I think I've been through the worst thing ever, so anything else will just have to be got on with.
I shall book myself into the nearest residential home if necessary, and spend the last bit of my life wearing someone else's nighty.

I too fear any form of dementia, having seen how my mother suffered. To answer the OP, yes, there are lucid moments, and the realisation of what you have become is truly awful. On of the doctors I worked with said he felt dementia would be an ideal way to go, he thought you would just 'drift off' completely unawares. Unusually (for me) I got angry and put him right. How could a GP (doctor, not grandparent) be so unaware?

I think we have to ignore those 2.00 am moments, and just not look too far ahead. At the moment I am okay, there is no reason why I should not be okay a few weeks hence, so I can book holidays and look forward to them, that sort of thing!

KatyK I am so sorry, could you talk to someone, things like CBT really do help?