What scares you?

I guess you have tried tonic water for your cramp, Chicken.

My great grandmother lived to be 99 and could still ride a bicycle and thread a needle - so my Granny Mac used to tell me. Hopefully I have inherited here genes though I don’t have a bike or sew anything but the occasional button!

One of my many fears relates to the night time cramp to which I am prone. It can sometimes be excruciatingly painful and I deal with it by leaping out of bed and walking. How will I cope when I become immobile? I can visualise lying there screaming and helpless. What a wuss am I!

I signed up to Exit International and Dignitas ..my choice, if I am able to travel independently by the time I need to go, would be Dignitas ...but at £11,000 it is expensive ...but I couldn't bare to not be able to see (my biggest fear as I have diabetic retinopathy _) in fact, the only thing that puts me off paying the deposit is the fact that if I die from natural causes first, WHAT HAPPENS TO MY DEPOSIT (WHICH Is quite substantial !!!!!...I know I wouldn't be here to worry, but I hate the thought of it being lost ...I would have to haunt them ………………..by the way I have no family to inherit anything, only donations to charities, etc !

Hello KatyK. I send you my best wishes and to let you know that you are not alone out there. I too was scared due to my childhood which has not subsided as an adult. You just have to soldier on even though it is not at all easy sometimes. I will be thinking about you from now onwards.

Veda I read your post I m sorry you feel so down about getting older and being alone I too liv e alone but I have children, two away and one nearby.
I bet your little dog is a great companion it’s a shame to waste your life wondering how the end will happen None of us can ever have any control over the end so all we can do is make the best of what we ve got
My biggest fear is anything happening to my kids or grandkids I pray I go before anything goes wrong with any of them I couldn’t bear it
Of course I also hate the thought of dementia or being a burden and all that goes with those dark thoughts

My children or grandchildren coming to any harm.After the Ariane Grande concert bombing I felt very anxious for their future as they live in cities - but rationalizing it,and having been in London at the height of IRA terrorism myself I know you can't live each day feeling fearful.
Personally going blind -there's a family history of glaucoma,detached retina and Macular degeneration so odds seem stacked somewhat !
And more worry than fear -climate change, loss of wildlife habitat,loss of green belt whilst brown field sites go undeveloped and the general mess of the environment with plastic and litter.

NannyEm at present I'm quite fit and able ( fingers crossed ) and being in " supported housing " which is independent living ( my own front door ) I have also an emergency system connected to my phone should I ever need it so help is never far away. A support officer visits twice a week so I'm well looked after in that respect.

At the moment I'm well enough to see to myself, cook meals and clean etc, also shop too. In fact to be perfectly honest I feel better now in my late 70's than I did mid 60's when I thought the end was nigh. Even tests have shown a vast difference but it's taken a good 10 years to reach this stage. I'm going forwards now instead of backwards.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

This site never works for me. I write a message but I never get any feedback. I’m like you Rosieleah, I have no one & I have a dog. I fear a long, drawn out, painful illness. I want to go every day. I pray to God to let me suffer a huge heart attack or stroke that will take me instantly.

I cared for my mother for many years while also trying to care for husband and children. Like others, I don’t want to be dependant on my children. I also don’t want my dgc to remember me as anything other than a loving granny.

RosieLeah, is there a neighbour who could look out for you? Mine always said that if she saw I had opened the curtains then she knew I was still alive!

Izabella
Absent if you do have to have injections I think the anticipation is worse than the actual event. It's not a picnic, but once you've had one, you know the drill and it's bearable - and worth it! Good luck.

Only two things scare me ....any form of dementia.....and not being able to read. Oh, sorry make that three things.... walking, I love to walk and would miss that, but wouldnt stay home because I needed an aide of any sort. Bring on the electric scooter .

absent
Road traffic is my biggest scare.Living on the beautiful North Cornish coast I would accept the summer school holiday traffic by revolving around it as we knew it was but for a few weeks. Not any more.
With more housing estates taking over the county and with not just one car a family but in some instances three maybe more, I am now adapting myself to when I can go out in my car without the inevitable tail gaiters and hooting that tells me I should ignore the thirty mile limit and get a move on as ''some of us, big sigh, have to get to work'. I have to live with this scare as there is no treatment against the selfishness of the human race.

Late to thread but contributing my primary fear and that is the future of my child who lives in residential accommodation. The pay for staff is low, turnover high and standards of care low. He was in a fantastic place until he hit someone and Manager called Police. My child is 5ft 4” and whilst I realise he shouldn’t have done it, child didn’t. He’s still watching CBeebies. He got sectioned, something overturned by Council County later.

So more I could say about my son; his medical conditions, my guilt for getting him in residential care but it just dominates my life. I have no friends and have been deaf from birth too - not related to my son’s multiple conditions.

Becoming a widow scares me. Not that there's any reason why he should go before me. I would be so lonely without him.

When I'm too old to look after myself, I know I won't be able to fund pleasant living quarters. A friend's father died a few years ago when I was still working, and my professional, graduate salary wouldn't have covered his care costs then, so clearly my salary won't.

I have often wondered if I would wish to be physically impaired or mentally. My dad in the end had to be hoisted everywhere but his mind was very active. He was intrinsically unhappy and at 97 chose to die. He did this by refusing food and drink. My mum is 98 and has dementia but is physically more able. She is the happier of the two and lives in her own little world watching life go by her. She is not aware my dad died and will often tell me he has just popped out to the shops. She is never distressed although she must wonder who I am that keeps visiting her.
One of my biggest dreads was getting cancer but now I have it I am just getting on with it. It has ceased to be a bogeyman. I just live from day to day in the hope I have a few more years.
I worry more about my DC having nearly lost my son a few years ago.

Alzheimers is a strange disease. My own hubby died after 4 years of suffering but it was a stroke that actually killed him not the Alzheimers. He was 76. Yet our friend had Alzheimers 4 years before my husband was diagnosed and he is still not too bad, and changes little year by year. He is now 83. He seems to have a reasonable memory and still recognises people, but he has lost the ability to read music and play the piano, having once been a music teacher. So it may not be that bad for many people.

I don't care about me - would like to live a long healthy life but whatever comes. My fear would be something happening to children or grandchildren.

Anger with the legislators who refuse medically assisted dying makes me less afraid of dying and I hope to stay angry during my last days, weeks , months, or years.

My greatest fear is something happening to my children or grandchildren.

DH going first.
I have no idea where everything is- insurances, his pensions info etc. & he will not show me.
As he is 12 years younger than I am it is a bit unlikely although I am in far better health.
I dread the day when I may have to pull everything out of the study & go through it all as he never files a thing!
He is Bi-Polar & this is one of his symptoms.

Due to long-term illness , I haven’t been able to read for many years . I am a memo of audible and I wouldn’t go back to reading books , it’s a wonderful experience if you get a great narrator , it’s more of an experience than just reading .

I am reading a wonderful book called
‘With the End in Mind - How to Live and Die Well’ by Kathryn Mannix.
She is a palliative care consultant and has witnessed lots of death and dying.
It is very comforting, uplifting and reassuring.

EllanVannin I too worry about my pets, I have seen advertised a keyring saying if you are in an accident you have pets at home, and also a notice to be displayed on your house window or door in case of fire, to check for pets, giving a description of type of animal. Do you have a relative, neighbour, Meals on Wheels or even some sort of agency (eg Salvation Army) who could just check on you daily in person or by phone.