Tragic/comic incidents

When my dad was in the nursing home a very obese lady was admitted. As she approached the dining room on her rollator he said very loudly " they're going to have to take the door off, she'll never get through!"

He spoke loudly as he was deaf and one afternoon when I arrived he was being attended to by the Philipino male nurse. This is Fernando he shouted, he's from the jungle but he's very good.

Many years ago my partner and me attended a funeral and during the burial we both noticed we were stood beside a gravestone that was meant to say 'To the world you were just a part but you were my world'. A bird had pooed over the p and it read 'To the world you were just a fart'. Our shoulders were going up and down trying hard not to laugh. People thought we were crying.

We tried to scatter my fathers' ashes into the river where he kept his boat. He spent rather a lot of his time in the little pub there though. We were always astonished he didn't fall in and drown quite frankly. It was freezing and windy. His partner threw the ashes up into the air. They didn't go anywhere near the river, were taken in the wind and blew towards the pub! We all started to laugh as it seemed so apt!

What is it about funerals that makes us see the funny side of things and often causes helpless giggles.

The funeral director was at our house and we were discussing funeral arrangements for my Husband. It was to be a Cremation. We were talking about hymns. My daughter, aged eight, piped up her favourite school hymn: "What about "Light up the Fire, Let the Flame Burn"?" she said.

Having a good chuckle at these. My contribution:

Friends uncle was in nursing home with Parkinsons/dementia. His wife visited often and on one visit a nurse came in. He introduced her to his wife and said "This is X, we're getting married". I'm sure wife didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

annifrance My church choir often sings for funerals which will be followed by a cremation. An often-chosen hymn contains the words "When the fire is burning all around you, you will never be consumed by the flames."

We always have to avoid eye-contact, to stop any giggling!

My father was greeting guests in a reception line at his father's funeral. One old gentleman came through and my dad introduced my mom who was standing next to him. The guest looked my mom up and down, turned back to my dad and said, "You have my sympathies." We all still laugh about it!

At my husband’s funeral, when I was greeting people afterwards, an old lady came up to me, shook my hand and said “He’s dead - get over it”. No one knew who she was. I can only assume she attended funerals to give comfort to the bereaved!

At my mum's funeral all the family were in the front garden waiting for the cars to arrive. My dad saw one of his neighbours, a lovely chap named Thomas, was on his own so he called him over to introduce him to my mum's brother and 2 brothers in law, who all had the same first name. 'This is John, Thomas and this is John, Thomas and...you can guess the rest.
Most of the family were in fits of giggles while dad and neighbour just looked confused!

As my late mothers coffin was carried into the crematorium one bitterly cold February morning, snowflakes began to fall on everyone. ..This made for some very witty remarks since her surname was Blizard!

My paternal grandmother died in a nursing home near us, so the coffin was brought home to our house. On the day of the funeral, we children were not present, but my mother had found it extremely difficult to keep a straight face.

The minister arrived to read prayers in our home before the hearse took the coffin to the cemetery. As he took his place by the coffin to read the prayers, our poodle and all four cats trooped solemnly in and sat down in front of my parents, ,aunt and uncle for all the world as if they intended to listen piously to the service.

Grannie had never been all that fond of pets in the house, either, so I have sometimes wondered whether they wanted to make sure they had seen the last of her.

My best friend had a wonderful sense of humour, when she received a terminal diagnosis she told me she wanted the song "Another one bites the dust" played at her funeral. Her family wouldn't do it but during the service I was silently singing the song in my head.

The vicar told me that in one of the funeral services he conducted, the music played was 'Remember You're A Womble'.
It still makes me smile thinking about it.

My OH wants 'wish me luck as you wave me goodbye '

My mother in law had an awful death poor lady. Dementia at 52. We were visiting her in hospital once and she was regaining us with tales of how these 'Japanese prison guards' were treating her (the hospital staff). Some of the things she was saying were hilarious, although the situation was awful.

In my nursing days I was called over by one patient (relative of a famous comedian, though that is by the by) with 'Come here dearie, I have a present for you!' She was confused, and the arms of her chair were screwed down to prevent her wandering around and injuring herself, so I went over to her. 'Hold out your hand' she said. I did so, and before I could stop her she had dropped a warm ball of faeces into my hand!!

B9exchange That reminds me of when my choir was entertaining at a nursing home. An elderly lady ‘had an accident’. We waited patiently while she was taken out to be tidied up, and the mop and bucket were used, then our M.D announced the next song, which was “Bridge over troubled waters.” Very appropriate!

Oh dear, I don't have any good stories like these but they have given me a right good giggle ... sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously!

B9 We had a patient called Malteser Annie for that very reason. Before anyone shouts at me they were very different times and our patients were well cared for.

I've been given a beautifully wrapped 'sweetie' before, which wasn't quite what I expected.

Chezzal My friend wants 'Ding dong the witch is dead'

When Mum was still alive, but suffering from dementia, she phoned me to say one of her daughters was dead. Well, I guessed that it wasn't me (I felt quite OK, thank you), so I phoned my 2 sisters to see which one of them was dead, but actually they were both quite alive too, thank you! So heartbreaking about Mum's state of mind, but hilarious at the same time!

Incidentally on the subject of funeral music, I want Queen's "Who wants to Live Forever", followed by Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell. I wonder if my family will go along with these .....
However, our church organist has stated he wants "Disco Inferno", "Burn Baby Burn", and "Come on Baby Light My Fire " at his cremation!

Oh my gosh... such funny answers.. thank you all for the giggles..
I remember my late FIL was having bowel trouble and was booked in for a colonoscopy... we were all a bit worried but tried to reassure him before he went for the "camera" test by telling him it would soon be over and he'd be fine... "Well yes I'm sure I will"... he said..then added thoughtfully.. "as long as it's not a Box Brownie..". ?

When my mum was alive I used to give my father a break and take her for days out (she suffered from dementia). When we were out and we met people she knew she would introduce me as her daughter or later on it became someone she worked with (there was an age difference of 40 years between us, she was in her 90's and I was in my early 50's). Then one time when we were out she introduced me as 'someone she went to school with'!!! Needless to say I was flabbergasted but we all had a good laugh.

At Mum’s funeral, the celebrant said, “and now we will have a few moments of quiet reflection...” Heads bowed, but instead of the gentle, classical guitar music, Kiss Me Honey Honey by Shirley Bassey blared out! It was our exiting tune choice. The celebrant looked startled and was signalling to someone stop it but this only made us giggle more. When the same song started again as we were leaving we just knew Mum would have thought it hilarious