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WWYD? Am I over-reacting? Not heard from relative for a while

(55 Posts)
HurdyGurdy Sun 17-Feb-19 19:06:09

MissAdventure - I am on the other side of London to him. About an hour and a half's drive, according to google maps.

M0nica - I can't see how to search recent death records. I've looked on .gov.uk and can't see where to search registered deaths. I'm in the process of resetting my ancentry.co.uk password as I've not used that site for a long time, and I'm not sure they have very recent deaths anyway?

paddyann - that's a good idea. I will see if I can find any GPs in his area and give them a try.

I feel a bit silly, as it's "only" four months. But it's the Christmas card thing that's really making me worried.

I am going to at least send a letter with my return address on, and see if that prompts him to contact me.

paddyann Sun 17-Feb-19 18:54:57

we lost touch with my OH's godmother .She didn't ever answer her phone and MIL was increasingly worried.So I got the name of a local GP and e-mailed him saying just that,we were worried an dwanted to make sure she was OK.
He sent one of his receptionists round to check on her an dgot back to me .She was fine just switched her phone off a lot because she was getting loads of cold calls .We were very grateful to him .Maybe there would be someone near your cousin you could ask to check on him for you?

M0nica Sun 17-Feb-19 18:51:43

Have you checked the death records? He could also have gone into care? In either case, the house would still be in his name because it hasn't yet been sold.

I would think a note to a neighbour with an stamp addressed envelope for reply or an email address would be best.

MissAdventure Sun 17-Feb-19 18:51:06

How far away to do you live from him?
I think I would have to do something, if I were in your shoes.. I'm not sure what though.
Thinking cap on.

HurdyGurdy Sun 17-Feb-19 18:48:39

My mother was the youngest child of a large family, so a lot of my cousins are 20+ years older than me.

The only one I keep in touch with is nearer my age - he's about 8-9 years older than me I think

We only keep in touch via email (I don't have a phone number for him), and even then, it's not too regularly. Every couple of months. I write quite long, chatty emails, he responds with a couple of lines commenting on things I've said in mine, and then updating me with his health problems lol

The last I heard from him was October last year. I know we don't correspond that often, but four months is quite a long time. I have sent him two emails in the past five weeks, the last one to both the email addresses he has used, saying that I was a bit concerned that I'd not heard from him and hoping he was well.

In September last year he told me he was in the process of clearing out his house in preparation for moving out of London. I asked where he was going to, but never got a response.

He always was a bit of an odd-bod, and most of our other cousins avoided him because of this. I always got on ok with him though. The thing that's making me fret a bit though is that I didn't get a Christmas card from him this year. And he has NEVER missed sending me one.

I have become slighly stalker-ish, and have checked the Land Registry and he is still listed as the owner of his house, so clearly hasn't moved yet. (Unless, of course, he is renting the house out and renting somewhere himself.) I have looked on googlemaps - not sure what I was looking for to be honest - but that was last updated in April 2018, so no clues to be had there.

What would you do?

He lives alone, and has some health problems, so I'm now thinking the worst.

What would you do? Is it ridiculous at this stage to contact police, or hospitals? I know he was a patient at St George's in Tooting at one time, so I could start there.