Grumpy Grandpa..,

On my screen the link is immediately after FAQ on the top left of the page
www.gransnet.com/info/acronyms

Once you are in the thread. Hope that helps.

Nanny27 and others, if you are using a PC it's at the top of the thread but I've just checked on my phone and it isn't there. You need to go to the bottom of the screen and click on 'Desktop site'

My DH does not like to be around children or babies. He has no siblings or children of his own. If I let him know my DD is coming with GD he goes upstairs to avoid them. If I don't let him know beforehand he does exchange greetings with my DD then goes upstairs. It is not worth the upset of trying to get him to engage with my GD.

DSilver,
If the very idea of children coming to visit is a cause for anxiety, it's likely because your H feels he won't be able to cope. Small children in particular, can be noisy and disruptive....they demand a lot of attention and a hefty dose of patience.

Perhaps he has unresolved issues with his own parents/grandparents. How did he feel when he was a young father? Did he interact well with his own children? How is he with other children in general? Is he in poor health?

Sad as it may be however, some people just aren't comfortable engaging with children, even their own and it doesn't necessarily mean the children aren't loved. An honest discussion with H might encourage him to share his feelings and that could be a step in the right direction.

Sorry tanith but at the top of my thread it doesn't have a menu for acronyms. It was just a straightforward question that I though someone might enlighten me about.

I would imagine that most older men find little ones challenging.It gets better when they grow up a bit and want to do outdoor things with Grandad.
Get him in the garden and directing the children to ‘help’ with sweeping up, bird feeding and weeding etc.
Or indoors, helping them do jigsaws or building Lego.

We both love having the grandchildren round, I probably enjoyed the little ones more than Grandpa did because he was never sure what to do other than cuddles and stories. Now that they're older he does more with them and especially enjoys their conversation. You don't say how old your grandchildren are but perhaps they haven't reached the age at which some men cope better.
I must say that we both also enjoy our adult time when they are not here, they can be exhausting.

I give up

I think I asked this before once but don't recall a reply, is their a difference in acronyms for Sil (sister in law) and Sil (son in law). I often find it very confusing but perhaps I'm just a bit dim. ??

My husband is not the biological grandfather, but he adores our 4 grandchildren. He loves nothing better than talking to them, playing games, teaching them the finer points of rugby, listening to their stories. Grandparents who dislike children are missing so much !

My husband gets grumpy when my children, grandchildren, or friends come. It's a problem. He says he likes to just be quiet, but then goes off to his Mmodel Railway Club to meet his mates. I get fed up but after 54 years he's never going to change!

What was your husband like with his own children, OP (means original poster)? Is he a retired school-master and sick of kids?

If asking him why he is grumpy when they come doesn't help, you could suggest he goes for a walk, works at his hobby etc when the grandchildren are around.

Or give him one room in the house which is out -of-bounds to the children.

These are not good ideas, as they will mean that the grandchildren grow up knowing that grandpa d doesn't like them. Has he thought about that?

There used to be a list, but I can see it has disappeared,
DD stands for Dear Daughter, DS for Dear Son, DIL daughter in law, other in laws with the relevant letter in front of IL i.e. MIL mother in law. DH is Dear Husband, OH seems to mean Other Half. GC grandchild etc. Hopes this helps.

Yes ....my husband hardly gives his 11 year old grandson or his 7 year old granddaughter a sideways glance! He’s an awful grandfather . They also know this. When they receive Xmas or birthday presents from ‘us’ ... which I have bought wrapped and paid for they are videod by their parents saying ‘thank you’ to grandad! My grandson will say it quite readily.... my 7 year old granddaughter cannot and will not say it!! She would rather have the present taken away as ‘punishment’. My grandson is easy going and amiable and I think makes ‘exvuses’ for grandad in his own mind. My granddaughter has a much more robust mind and knows a thorough-going arse when she she’s on! Clever girl that and I admire her for it!

Well said ladyinspain. I hate acronyms and always use proper words. As a nurse in the 60s they were not allowed at all as they were the cause of so many errors in people's understanding of them..

Never mind the annoying acronyms, let's concentrate on the question and give some advice and support.
I'd like to know whether her husband was like this with their own children when they were small or if this is just a new thing with the grandchildren.

I've been here about a year, and agree with the other ladies, re the acronyms. I get about 4 of them, but just keep reading on, not really having a clue who is being referred to! I cant find a list either, I don't use them, I prefer to just write what Im thinking. A post filled with initials doesn't interest me, even though Id like to read it!!

I feel for you DSilver. My OH has always disliked small children. I had two teenagers when we married 26 years ago and now they are married with small children of their own. When they come to visit my OH disappears into our bedroom, not to be seen again until they leave. I used to take him cups of tea and food but I’ve stopped doing that now. If he wants anything to eat or drink he must come and get it himself. Needless to say he does not deserve the title of grandpa - and we all call him the Ogre. I don’t like how my OH acts and neither do my DC and they have commented that it makes them feel uncomfortable so visits are few and far between. I tend to go and visit them and stay with my DC for a week or so here and there. It’s his loss. I have told him how we all feel but it’s made no difference. I leave him to it.

Ladies look at the top of this thread it’s says

GRANSNET FORUMS
Active
Acronyms

With acronyns I call the first D Dear, so DH becomes Dear Husband, DD Dear daughter, Dgc Dear Grandchild etc. I hate acronyms and never use them, always write everything in full to avoid confusion.

My nom de plume does not apply to my attitude to my grandchildren, who give me a perpetual excuse to play aroun, sing, and generally behave in a manner unbefitting my years. They are always welcome.

I’m so with those who don’t get the acronyms- and I’ve scrolled up and down looking for what they mean and now feel even more of a failure! I read with great interest all the posts and the comments and try hard to work them out- I’ve got SILand Dil- didn’t realise I was so stupid!

My husband loves it when the grandchildren come here. We both do. However, it's nice to have peace and quiet when they've gone

My DH loves them and does lots for them but 'I' know he doesn't much enjoy it as he is more cheerful when they leave! To be honest, there are times I've felt the same (they used to live with us) as it's exhausting but I miss them when they're not here and wouldn't have it any other way.

As others have said, need more info to comment OP. Whose GC? What does he actually do, for example, make them feel uncomfortable? Take it out on you before/after?