Would you ask?

That brought back memories Grannyactivist. Sharing got women through hard times.

I just paid pennies less than £168 to get a Landlord's Gas Certificate and my boiler serviced - and I really don't care who knows it!

Seriously, I grew up knowing every detail of my family's finances (which basically meant I knew there wasn't actually any spare money to be had). I also knew the financial affairs of most of our neighbours as we lived on a road where lending and borrowing was the norm and it could be anything from a winter coat for a special outing to a cigarette, a cup of sugar or 'ten bob 'til pay day'. Conversations about money were frequent and heartfelt both within and outside the family.

When I met my husband and we discussed finances we were both shocked; he at my brazen curiosity and me at the fact that he'd never, ever had a discussion about money with his parents and was horrified at the very thought.

cornergran That's exactly what my mum used to say.

Done an injustice to my lovely sister I meant sister in law

It could be helpful. I had a very costly job done and I know, (as I found out later,) that my neighbour was charged less by the same person. He obviously knew we wouldn't discuss it.
Asking someone's pension- very weird. There are boundaries.

My parents always said ‘money in fair words’ when asked the cost of anything. I’ve no idea where the phrase came from but it did seem to divert questions.

My sister will blatantly ask how much you earn but she always does it in a way that catches you out, it's all about money with her.

Perhaps you could ask her if she needs either a roof or boiler repair. Then you tell her that you will give her the chap’s number, and he could quote her directly. All jobs are different. Some people are just plain nosy. ?

Yes I agree with that annepl there is a difference and I wouldn't have a problem disclosing the cost of repairs etc.

I would never ask about someone's private income savings investments etc. But I think people are much too secretive about some financial things. If a friend gets a job done by a tradesman and you think its a good job and you would like him to do same for you what is wrong with asking how much it cost? This is just one example. I would not ask but I don't see why people can't share the information. And its natural to be interested in how much jobs cost. I don't know why it's seen as bad practice to ask.

I think I’d like to tease by saying, “Oh, gosh! Far, far too much!”, refuse to expand on that and then leave her hanging. If she is as nosey as you say, then I suspect this might irritate her immensely ..... and maybe teach her not to ask again. ?

No, I wouldn't ask. However, I often notice people tell me what they pay for things and ask me what I have paid for similar things/services.

If I don't really care about the specific matter, I tell them. Otherwise, I pretend I've forgotten the exact amount.

If someone is a good friend in other ways, I wouldn't fall out over it. Why not tell a white lie and tell her a slightly different price if, for example, you don't want her to know how much you paid for your car. Perhaps some people would think that a big bad black lie but I don't think it would harm anyone.

Grrr.Tablet typos!!!!

This is by the by but we had three tiles replaced on the roof and the ridge tiles cemented in and we paid the roofer recommended to us quite a lot of money for about two hours work. OH and I both thought it a bit steep, no pub intended. g

I wish we'd had a few more quotes now, or a neighbour who had similar work done so we could compare prices!

Oh gosh janeainsworth if I said

‘There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.’

They’d say ‘eh?’
I’m not even sure I’d be able to say all that in the right sequence. ??

Oh, I wouldn't answer question about personal finances. Sorry, didn't read the follow-on information.

Maybe she wants to get a vague idea of how much these things cost in case she needs ever to have the same work done. It's not as though she's asking how much you paid for your furniture or the dress you're wearing.

Re the pension could you say'It's enough fortunately'. And follow it up with a different topic like 'would you like a coffee?'

If anyone asked personal finance questions about my income I might borrow a phrase I heard a colleague use when a child asked her what she earned, " Less than my worth but more than enough to live"

My response would vary with the circumstances. If I had just had my boiler serviced and a friend asked how much I was charged, I would tell without a second thought. If someone asked me what my pension was I would say 'That's a very personal question and not one I am going to answer'

The pension question is a bit much but turn it on her "How much is yours" and see what she does. If she thinks it's rude just say " Yeah I thought so too". If she tells you, you can reply with " Oh lucky you, mines not quite so good" or "Mine's slightly better than that" and tell her a bogus figure about a tenner more. You might get an insight into where she's coming from. Just sounds like she's lonely and wants a friend to me but needs a wider range of topics to discuss.

As Oldwoman suggests, ask her why she wants to know, in a friendly, polite tone.

I say “I can’t remember “ which in my case is usually the truth without checking my bank statement. Once I’ve bought and paid for something I why should I remember what I’ve paid for it. But I have a cousin who knows exactly to the penny the price of everything she pays for. Conversations with her are pretty tedious.

Perhaps you could just ask her how much she thinks it costs and then no matter what figure she comes up with tell her she is right. As for asking how much your pension is, that is a step too far - I would ask her why she wants to know.

Thank you for your replies. To be honest I'm not that interested in what anyone pays for anything and just wouldn't ask. It's up to them if they want to share it of course. Like most people, I'm happy to share if I think I've got a bargain or it would help them to know. I certainly won't let it spoil a friendship but I was curious about how others deal with it.