Gransnet forums

Chat

Would you ask?

(109 Posts)
Willow10 Tue 05-Feb-19 11:22:57

I'm expecting someone to call to give a quote for a roof repair today. I'm also waiting for a call from the gas man about a boiler leak. My neighbour calls in for coffee occasionally and I know exactly what her first question will be - 'how much did that cost you?' She has been asking personal questions about finances ever since I moved in almost six years ago. Is it just me or would others find it extremely rude? I would never dream of asking anyone that question, I don't even ask my grown up children - it's no one else's business as far as I'm concerned. But somehow I've never found the right response that won't sound offensive or rude, so I just blurt out the cost! How do other people deal with this and what would your response be?

Chocolatenoodle8 Thu 07-Feb-19 13:36:10

My friends used to ask me what I’d paid for things too. When our windows were replaced it was easy to reply, “You have a different number of windows to me and they won’t be the same size, so the cost will be different.”
I’ve learned over the years to say, “Oh it wasn’t too bad.” Or, “It was very reasonable!”

Tillybelle Thu 07-Feb-19 13:11:03

Oscar Wilde, in Lady Windermere's Fan (1892); often paraphrased : "A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing."

Boosgran Thu 07-Feb-19 13:03:45

Good grief what a rude person! I’m afraid I wouldn’t tell her anything related to my personal finances. A quote for a boiler etc is fine for information but anything else- no!!

Lancslass1 Thu 07-Feb-19 13:00:22

How amazing .
I posted exactly the same comment as antheacarol at about the same time but it didn't appear.

ExaltedWombat Thu 07-Feb-19 12:50:50

It's interesting and useful to know what things cost, particularly things that you might need yourself in the future. If people don't know the 'going price' for a job, it's hard to negotiate with tradesmen. Share!

(It's OK to be coy about what a dress cost I suppose, unless you want to boast about how much your partner spent on you or about finding a bargin!)

antheacarol55 Thu 07-Feb-19 12:44:32

My mum always said money and fair words if someone asked her questions about money

Eloethan Thu 07-Feb-19 12:27:17

I don't see it as particularly personal or offensive to ask someone how much a particular job cost. If I was getting some work done on the house and wasn't sure how much I should be paying and someone I knew fairly well was having the same work done, I might ask them.

Riggie Thu 07-Feb-19 12:22:21

I wouldnt have any compunction about being rude to a question about how much my pension was. The question in itself is very rude so I'd either resort to "did you mean to be so rude and nosey" or "none of your business".

janeainsworth Thu 07-Feb-19 12:20:13

I agree georgie Often when things are cheaper, there’s a downside.
Is it really worth it, in terms of time, effort and petrol costs, to make a 15 mile round trip to a different supermarket to spend £2 less on your groceries?

Tillybelle Thu 07-Feb-19 12:19:56

Willow10. Disclaimer! I haven't time to read all responses yet! Sorry!
My immediate response is that I am exactly like you! I never ask about people's money! If it is a bill that might affect all the neighbours then I might, I suppose, very tentatively, ask if they would mind my being so rude as to ask, but I can't think of an example.

I suppose if my roof needed doing too and I had a good relationship with someone nearby who had used a roofer, I might ask their advice and would they recommend him? But you get a quotation for a job anyway. (On a recent thread - I still say "quotation". can't bring myself to say "quote"! Similarly cannot say "invite" for invitation either! Sorry! It was another thread!)

To her? I might simply go very vague and say I can't actually remember.....

GeorgieKay Thu 07-Feb-19 11:47:01

It's the ones who always say "Oh, that's far too much, you could have got it cheaper" who really annoy me. That's why I've stopped telling people. And I was quite happy with my pension till someone told me they were getting far more ! So now I just won't discuss financial matters.

Pallmall1964 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:40:44

I remember when I had a leather three piece delivered,a few weeks later my neighbour's were talking to my husband when he mentioned how much I paid for it my neighbour's said I know I went to have a look my husband was gobsmacked they were not nice people

H1954 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:31:50

Yes, people like that annoy me too! I would personally say something along the lines of "oh, it wasn't cheap, but you know what they say, buy cheap and buy twice". I've used it a number of times and it shuts them up straight away. In fact one particular person has stopped asking, guess they're still trying to work out what I meant in the first place! ?

Stansgran Thu 07-Feb-19 11:22:56

We had neighbours like that ,but always stopping the workman on his way out and then making a point of telling me I had been done. I always warned workmen that this would happen and to make up a fictitious sumgrin and also warned the workmen that if they did a job for them the neighbour's would argue the toss of the bill. My mil was a great one for asking how much holidays cost even though we were taking her. She always preceded it by saying "I'm not being funny but....." I always said I don't know ask your son he's paying but she never did.

Lancslass1 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:21:36

My mum's response if anyone ever asked her the cost was "money and fair words"
Never knew what it meant but it worked.

mabon1 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:19:42

You dont need to tell her how much anything cost. If you volunteer that's different.

Yorkshiregirl Thu 07-Feb-19 11:19:29

I've had several people prying about my savings, and my reponse now I am prepared is to laugh and say " Oh gosh that's something I wouldn't even discuss with my close family". Do not let her press you further. Its your private business and asking about people's savings is extremely rude.

MaggieMay69 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:16:44

I have a friend exactly the same! So I started saying 50p and a slie of cake! With a smile!
At first she would continue prodding, but I would always say the same thing, or change the subject completely! Its no-ones business but yours, thats not rude, but we are allowed to keep some things private! :-)

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 11:01:38

The plain answer is 'Enough but not too much'.

Herbie9 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:58:02

Some folk want too much information! As the quotation goes " Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing" Not quite right, I know. Was it words from Oscar Wilde?

JanaNana Thu 07-Feb-19 10:55:56

And then there are the people "who know the price of everything and the value of nothing" !

Camelotclub Thu 07-Feb-19 10:55:20

My mum was like that. She'd say 'what did they rush you for that?' and when you replied she's automatically whistle, no matter what price it was! I think it came from being very poor in WW2.

DotMH1901 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:53:48

Why don't you make a joke of the answer next time and say something along the lines of 'an arm and a leg - and that was just for starters!' Sometimes people are just making conversation - if they really want to know how much it cost because they are thinking of similar work for their house then you could just offer them the phone number or business card so they can check it out themselves.

Sheilasue Thu 07-Feb-19 10:45:57

I would just say well won’t be going out for a meal, cinema etc.for a while.

Hollydoilly10 Thu 07-Feb-19 10:36:12

Have you asked her why she wants to know.