Things your mother said!

I've seen more fat on chip.

What's for diinner? "Duck........under the table and out again"

And one from my grandfather "You knows her, you knows her as well as I do, little widder woman, walks about a lot on her feet!"

I’ve seen better hair on bacon.

When asked what was for dinner my Mums reply was Shit with egg on.
Coincidentally my husbands mother used to say the same. I haven’t continued the tradition.

She's got hair like a yard of pump water.
Meaning very straight.
Plus several of the afore mentioned ones.

You must take your plastic mac to school......in case it rains!!!!!!!! No, no, no.

My mum was always using sayings several sayings as above and others that spring to mind are

A daughters a daughter all of her life, a sons a son till he gets a wife. (When I said I have 2 sons where does that leave me she said ‘yours will be different’?)
A change is as good as a rest
Butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth
Life begins at 40 (it would then become 50,60 etc)
You’ve got out the wrong side of bed ( struggled with this when small as bed against a wall)

One of Mum's answers to "what's for tea?" was "bread and butter and walk round the table".
When I complained about an almost invisible mark or spot she would say "a blind man would be glad to see it".

If we asked what was for dinner we'd be told "Food". If we asked what kind, she'd say "The kind you eat." One I remember well was when we had leftovers for supper. Then it would be, "Suppertime, guys! Come tell me what you want to eat!" (Mum always saved leftovers until the end of the week and then just heated everything up and served it. Consequently we had to tell her which ones we wanted.)

When something turns out OK in the end she says -'It's like the relief of Mafeking ! '- well she is 96 and although obviously not alive during the Boer War that one must have come from her parents !
'I look like the wreck of the Hespeus ' Which as a child I knew what she meant ie her way of saying dragged through a hedge backwards.Now I realise it's from a poem by Longfellow.
And to me, and all my children when tucking us up for bed 'Night night.Sleep tight.And don't let the bed bugs bite '.
Or 'Good night,sweet repose,lie on your back and don't squash your nose.' It used to make them giggle.Bless you mum.

What’s for dinner Mum. “Air pie and windy pudding”.

'Charlie's dead' if your underskirt was showing. 'You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear' for someone who thought they looked great but, in her opinion, didn't.

I'll try killed can't - when I said I couldn't do something

You'll catch something you can't caste in a hurry - when she thought I wasn't wearing enough clothes

The best one though when she was looking in a mirror aged 80ish - It must be so much easier getting old if you've always been ugly!!

My mum had some unusual expressions - she was Irish. If I was going out and said my shoes were scuffed or something she would say 'no man will get down off his horse to look at you'

"Don't just sit there eating them one after the other". Wise words about eating sweets. Which I somehow took to mean I should cram a few in at once.

"Don't come running to me when you break your leg."

"You'll pass in a crowd." High praise when I asked if I looked okay.

DH has inherited "They wouldn't stop a pig in a passage" for anyone with bow legs.

One volunteer is better than 10 pressed men.

"All fur coat and no knickers" for someone giving themself airs and graces.

Goose I have a similar one,

‘What’s for Tea Mum’
‘A kid with a scabby head’ ?

When my son was a young teenager and was going out with a girl my Mum used to say ‘Wear your trousers back to front’. Fortunately he thought it was a funny remark.

If I had had a kiss and a cuddle on the doorstep with a boyfriend my mum would say later ‘You look as if you have been dragged through a hedge backwards’

She had a great sense of humour and I miss the many laughs I had with her.

If you eat a banana at bedtime it’ll make you sick.

'If they could only see themselves from behind!' was one of my mums. It was soooo embarassing..................

One of my grans favourites was “It’s all gone cabbage wrong.”

my mum's most lasting was poison and chips when being repeatedly asked what was for dinner. I found myself saying it to may kids

Some of these bring back so many memories! Some more were 'if you swallow chewing gum it will stick to your heart and you'll die', 'if you don't wash your ears, you will have potatoes growing in them'

Mum used to say, when looking in the mirror. 'I look like the wreck of the Hesperus' . Took me a while to realise what she meant.

Also, if a job was being done, she always wanted it done properly, and used to say, 'Don't spoil the ship for a H'porth of tar'

My mum when joking with someone who she would owe money to for getting her something used to say ‘I’ll see you straight when I get my new glasses’.

And in a taxi used to say to the taxi driver as we turned into her road ‘its the one with the dirty curtains’! (Not)

On her way to do some ironing ‘I’m off to a board meeting’.