Gransnet forums

Chat

Can anybody relate to this?

(112 Posts)
dragonfly46 Mon 21-Jan-19 09:51:42

PECS not on the cards I am afraid. DH has bad back and wallowing I am afraid. The last time I went out and left him alone he did not eat and ended up having a hypo and me calling the paramedics.

I am feeling manipulated at the moment. He was very sad today because I made him make his own toast!

I have worked out it is because I was born on a Saturday!!

PECS Mon 21-Jan-19 09:45:10

I know what you mean! Maybe you need to find a way to fix yourself? A short stay away in a quiet hotel/ B&B to give yourself time to recharge?

Humbertbear Mon 21-Jan-19 09:20:17

Dragonfly - you are not alone. I care for my mother and my husband and the grand children and my sister ...... I often feel as if nobody cares for me. Sometimes I sit in the car and scream. Sometimes I feel as if I have been drained dry.Try taking a day off and going out on your own. Also, try delegating, gently but firmly, some small tasks. I really feel for you but I don’t know if it will help you to k ow that you are not alone in how you feel.

kittylester Mon 21-Jan-19 09:09:03

dragonflybrewthanks

I'm not surprised that you feel like that with all the added stress you currently have. And, as Teetime says, it's blue Monday.

Women do seem to be the 'go to people' and sometimes we wish we weren't even though we usually love it. And, it's always there isn't it, even though we might do something lovely to take our minds off it.

Not much help but you are definitely not alone.

Bridgeit Mon 21-Jan-19 09:07:43

YesI too can relate to these feelings, so first I am sending you a big hug.
Any small request feels like a huge effort is required I want to say No, but feel that I can not.
Perhaps as has been suggested to me, all we have to do is ask, how will anyone know if we don’t say anything & carry on, maybe they also believe they would be offending you if they intervene.
So take the bull by the horns, express your feelings and ask for help & decline any request that you don’t want to take on . Best wishes?

Auntieflo Mon 21-Jan-19 09:06:45

Dragonfly, you and me both. I have felt the same at times, though happily not now. As you say, I think we make a rod for our own backs.
I know you are going through a rough patch, it will pass, you are strong, too strong, for your own good.
Sending a hug and prayers to you and flowers
Take care of yourself and if possible a little pampering and spoiling.

Grannyknot Mon 21-Jan-19 09:03:19

dragonfly I know that feeling, I tend to be like that too and I'm sorry to see that my daughter is the same - always organising everything, holidays, workmen etc - the list is long.

Unless I'm mistaken, you have a health worry at the moment.

Just stop doing for everyone else and perhaps say "Sorry, but I'm my number one priority at the moment".

I really believe that sometimes you have to verbalise things in plain language for people to understand! And then of course, act on it.

flowers

MawBroon Mon 21-Jan-19 09:03:01

I can totally sympathise Dragonfly that was me.
But you are you and could not be otherwise.
However, you have got more than enough on your plate so perhaps somebody else in the family needs a wake up call?
But if you do not ask for help or admit that the waters are closing over your head, they will assume you are coping and indeed happy to do so
flowers

Teetime Mon 21-Jan-19 08:59:23

Well apparently today is known as Blue Monday so it could be that you feel extra 'blue' today. Try and do something for yourself today and carve out some time for your self each week.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 21-Jan-19 08:59:00

dragonfly ????

It’s hard when we have done it all, and suddenly “all” just becomes too much.

EllanVannin Mon 21-Jan-19 08:54:12

Mentally it's quite draining dragonfly and you just feel at times that you won't cope should anything else crop up. I know how you feel and can sympathise with you.
Just an offer of someone making a cup of tea for you would give a lift !

Because you've done everything, like myself, people imagine that you can still carry on doing.
It will pass---------when something else crops up !smile sad

dragonfly46 Mon 21-Jan-19 08:38:57

In my family I have always been the capable one. I have cared for everyone, including my parents. If anyone, parents, DH, DC has a problem they ring me and more often than not I find a solution. I manage our money, book holidays, sort out tradesmen etc.

And now I am tired of it. I want someone to care for me and fix things but I feel I have made a rod for my own back as nobody knows how.

Sorry to sound as if I am wallowing but not feeling so good today. I am sure it will pass.