Soop's super supportive kitchen (with a wing for poorly menfolk)

eilyann how worrying for you. I had that with my gall bladder and it turned out to be a calcified cyst. Wishing you well.

Whilst having an ultrasound scan for an unrelated matter - which turned out to be fine - they found 'something' on the pancreas. Now on 'The Pathway' for more tests. Hopefully it will be a cyst but can't help worrying a bit. I know many of you have more worrying things but this was a bit of a shock.

Ann my mum's fees have gone up to over 1000 per week but as you say it is worth it for peace of mind. She is lucky, however, as they saved and saved all their lives and now she gets half of my dad's pension which helps. I have PoA so it all comes out of her bank account.

Getting ready to go out walking with friends this afternoon and just hoping the rain stays off. If it rains I expect it will just be a coffee and a natter. When we went out last Sunday we were nattering so much we got lost and walked an extra 3 miles.

Oh yes, now that I am up, wide awake, in front of my computer the head of the house is quietly lying on the back of my chair washing.

Wise words synonymous and food for thought.
You are facing a lot at the moment - as are others who will forgive me if I don’t mention them all by name, but you and I know who you are - and your courage and resilience in adversity are admirable.
Says much for the power of !
Bon courage to all (and their four legged friends!)

Molly did exactly the same Charleygirl she jumped on the bed whinging at 6:40am.
I refused to move and dozed off again until 8:55 when the phone ringing some me up.
I am so pleased things are moving for you both Synonymous it is always so hard waiting for things to happen.
I empathize with you also about using the rainy day fund.
I will be doing the same.
My H has been in care 8 weeks now and I don't know what the fees will be, I only know that whatever it costs is worth it for my sanity and peace of mind.
I don't touch his bank account at all as of yet I haven't had a bill.
Have a good day everyone.

Morning all,

Its a mellow start here and I suspect we will be so laid back by the end of it we'll be lying down :-)

I don't think that philosophy Dragonfly of what will be will be , is a bad thing at all. It stops us running round like headless chickens. I'm a big believer in it myself, along with not sweating the small stuff. A diagnosis like yours brings things sharply into focus doesn't it.?

Glad to hear the apt has arrived Synonymous that must be a relief.

In terms of taking help from others my Gran used to say for a 'giver' accepting help was harder than giving . And I think she had a point. So be gentle with yourself, these things pass and it gives you an insight into how your generosity in the past was valued I think.

Right ! Far to philosophical for a woman before breakfast - eggs and soldiers anyone ??

Synonymousso pleased to hear that the appointment is so soon. Hopefully the hospital is not too far away.

Tara allowed me a lie in today until 9am but not a minute beyond. She did not want or need anything, only me up and about.

Great news about your husband`s appointment Synonymous, hope it goes well.

Wow Synonymous that is such good news!

I have found since my diagnosis I am much more philosophical. The thing I always dreaded is here and now I have to deal with it or not. What will be will be!

I’m full of admiration for your approach synonymous. The appointment is such good news, I hope it goes as well as it can. .

soop it certainly is a steep learning curve about spending on ourselves. Since that wretched crash we have been much blessed with loving care but unable to refund expenses to some as they have refused. We have ended up feeling quite guilty on occasions which I know is silly but we have always been the main supporters of us as well as the family when needed but it seems to be role reversal time . Now we have had to change our thinking and try to anticipate far more and eat out when necessary and book hotel stays for hospital apointments and when DH is an inpatient so that our children can relax more when they know that we have booked anything we need. It also means that they don't have to drop everything and rush to help which is always so much more expensive at the last minute. This is me trying to rationalise it all because I have become very concerned at how our savings have been eroded so that now we have little left but it is because we are in the midst of our 'rainy day' and is what it was kept for. Trying not to worry is difficult but I am trying to remember that it must instead be thankfulness that we are still able to function and make ends meet. I was brought up short recently with a comment about griping so it is good to have a thankful habit!

Today we got in touch with the hospital and, to our relief, Hmself was given an appointment with the surgeon next Wednesday. Much thankfulness! Hallelujah!!

I had a classic communicationa aboutt 6 months after paw died.
I cancelled all his subscriptions etc and direct debits which were not applicable to me, including a sub to a church magazine called The Tablet. It was actually paid up annually in advance so sure as eggs, a reminder came through in March. I took a deep breath and politely reminded them that I had cancelled because he had died.
Fair enough, but the email which I had expected to acknowledge this was headed ” Change of address ”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when I replied and said how crass I found it, but “did they know something about where he had “gone” that I didn’t” ? ???

callgirl it is little things like that which are so upsetting and so unnecessary.

When I first moved into this house I had the double glazing changed. I was very recently divorced and the man who came wanted my husband's signature. I thought I would teach him a lesson and sat here saying that would be difficult because my husband's ashes were well scattered. I was paying cahs so why a second signature was deemed necessary is beyond me.

soop today's washing was for the poorly men in the extension.

morethan2 you desperately need the holiday- take the minimum and enjoy yourself if you possibly can.

Successfull trip to Ikea- candles, clipits and meatballs on the side!

Ann I experienced loads of this aggro when I took over the management of my Mums affairs. You may find it will pay you to get a couple of certified copies done at a solicitors. I paid £5 a few years ago. I then registered the poa with everyone there were dealings with, including council tax etc. It was very useful having copies.

Every company has different rules and systems and the banks were the worst!

My DD has a had news from the insurance company and they are giving her the write off value her car and for the damage to her husbands car.

Feet up and G &T time now ?

2 years after my husband died, I received a credit card statement addressed to him. His credit card was paid off and cancelled when he died, and nothing else was heard, until that after 2 years, stating that he owed £0.00. I rang them to ask them not to send anymore, I was asked if hubby left a will, yes, was I the executor, no, oh well, we can only cancel the statement after speaking to the executor. I then had to contact my daughter number 2, who is the executor and she had to ring them, what a ridiculous palaver!

Wow so much happening since I was here last.

Morethan a holiday does sound just what you need. Being able to see things from a distance should be restful. Good news about the shrinkage. They are so clever these days.

Soop I have lost my credit card before and later found it. I believe Barclay card now have a system where you can instantly block it and later unblock it if you find it.
So pleased Mac is improving.

Ann yes it is quite depressing in these homes although intake comfort from the fact that my mum seems to be happy and she is well turned out.

I hope the rest with aches and pains feel better soon.

Finally got my appointment with the oncologist for the beginning off February. They did apologise that they could not make it sooner.
Took DH out for the first time yesterday and he survived!

Made a fruit cake today and left some on the side.

N&G Dare I say it...I have a "grumbling tooth". It will most def need extracting. I am doing my best not to make the dreaded appointment. As for finding £2000 for an implant - yikes! I am not wimpish about surgery BUT I am a total wimp when it comes to having cold water/air/metal objects tiddling around in my mouth. The very thought of the tooth being everso slightly tapped, has put me into a tiz-woz. There is no hope for me.

Time to log off. MacSporran has asked me to print a couple of long-winded messages concerning committee meetings for him. I shall do so. I hope to join you all again tomorrow. I wish you a peaceful evening.

annsixty, I can understand how you must feel. The positive thing is...your husband is receiving the expert care and attention that he deserves. Our pal isn't in the room with residents who are suffering with dementia. It's a bright, fresh, newly refurbished ground floor wing/sitting room. When I visit T in the room upstairs, it is just as well presented but many of the residents are unable to articulate. It used to be sad. However, with the passage of time, I have got to know a number of residents who sing, laugh and sleep a lot. I started visiting four and a bit years ago. Three of the residents with whom I got along, have died. Singing starts with one lady who has a lovely voice. When the others join in...it's not as tuneful but it puts a smile on their faces. The staff are lovely. They truly care. They are the salt of the earth. I admire them tremendously.

Technology is good when it works soop
How frustrating for you, I felt like screaming this morning.
I am currently sitting in one of the lounges at the care home.
3 including H are asleep, one dear lady has not stopped simging since I got here at 1.30pm.
I am being picked up at 3.45 pm so must sit for another 35 minutes.
It is part depressing and part heartbreaking.
One lady who has obviously been very bright and is beautifully spoken and dressed has tried to have a conversation but no 2 words make sense.
The lady who has sung all afternoon was a Butlins Redcoat in an earlier life.
She has been a very bright spark and dances in her chair. I have never seen visitors to some of them, so sad

Both MacSporran and I visited our pal in the nursing home. It has been some time since MacS left the house. He received a right royal welcome from the staff. One of the lovely male carers hugged him...that made me

GrannyGravy13 Ouch! Take yourself off to the physiotherapist. Us lot wish you a speedy recovery.

morethan2 The more of thought about your proposed holiday, the more inclined I feel to suggest that it might do you a lot of good. Your batteries need recharging. Once you have reaped the benfit of a rest, you will return home more refreshed. You are coping amazingly well with all the additional special duties you are carrying out as a result of your daughter-in-law's tragic illness. [sunshie] x

N&G It appears to be one of those days when our ability to get on track with whatever seemingly simple task presents itself, is utterly thwarted. As a result, we are stewing in our own juices. I often have dreams in which I cannot make headway in a hurricane-force wind. Something similar is happening to dear Ann. I feel like weeping on her behalf with overwhelming frustration.

Charleyg Oh the joys of wash day! My mother only ever did it on a Monday, by hand, finished off through the mangle. We must be doing it all wrong!

Mamissimo I wouldn't say no to a few candles. We last visited Ikea years ago. Went in to have "a look" and came away laden with stuff that we didn't actually need. It's one of those stores. Also, easy to lose one's partner and stand around looking pathetic until he/she surfaces.

Izabella I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. It was both poetic and hilarious in equal measure.

Greyduster You have our permission to take it easy. Any further strain on your aching hip will makes matters a whole lot worse.

I am on the brink of blowing a bloody big gasket! All down to having mislaid my credit card...cancelling it...finding it and now needing to wait for the replacement in the post, and, in the meantime, having booked a hotel for one night prior to a very early appointment in a long-distance hospital, coming home to find four emails threatening to cancel the booking because the card...On and On and On, I go. That's enough of all that nonsense. I feel better for letting off pent up steam.

Oh dear whenever I pop into this comfy kitchen it appears that more of you have heartaches and illnesses aplenty.

I have popped in for a moan as I am feeling extremely sorry for myself . I have been struggling with my sacroiliac joint for two weeks, but today after trying to stretch out at the gym this morning I have finally given in and made an appointment with the physio this afternoon. It will hurt more for a few days but hopefully onwards and upwards next week.

Sending my best wishes to you all ???