Veni et ego profectus sum rumpitur

It bothers me that some people are taken in by the threads that are started with an intention to stir things up. Those of us that have been around a while get 'a feel' for a bad thread. We can leave them alone but other people will be taken in. They may give more information than is wise and they may be upset.

But, if we say anything such as 'onesie' or 'windy', we have our threads deleted. GN isn't a nice place to be at the moment. Apart, from the Good Morning Thread and The Kitchen and I expect that will be spoilt before ;long - despite soop's best efforts.

But my point about the nastiness of existing members to new members is a valid one. If you are indeed genuine and looking for help some of the comments and very personal remarks must be very upsetting and enough to drive you away never to return. How do you judge, can you rely on your judgement being 100% correct?

Thanks for raising this post Maw, it needed to be said. Over the Christmas period, it became almost impossible to look at a thread and know whether it was genuine or not; likewise to know whether one should contribute and feed it or take it at face value.
I reported more suspect posts over the Christmas period than I've ever felt I had to do in all the time I've been a member of GN and it really soured it all for me. As for the abuse and downright nastiness of some of the "new" posters; it's quite striking that, now that the main culprits seem to slithered away for another year, the tone and friendship of what makes GN a good place to hang out, has largely returned.

I think most posters have eloquently on this thread laid bare some of the issues which does put members off and in some cases never to return.

I to have only been on here for a year or two and do not post regularly. Not because I have nothing to say but generally do not want to attract unwelcome responses. Having said that if I feel I can add to a particular thread, I will especially if information posted may not be accurate for the OP.

Many times instead of joining in with a thread that is turning rancid I just bite my tongue and let others get on with it.

I was also quite angry and a bit upset at the spoofs we had over Christmas and the weeks running up to it I did quite a bit of reporting some were removed some were ‘thank you we ll keep an eye on it’ I was so annoyed that kind hearted people were getting drawn into empathic posts while the joker was laughing up their sleeve
I am a little bit cross that we are asked to help but then often slapped on the hand I think GRansnet admin should be more willing to accept what we are telling them when we are quite obviously concerned about a poster and very aware of the way it’s all going
Hopefully it’s gone for now but I think we need a plan in case it happens again My plan is if a NEW poster posts something that looks unusually or salacious or contentious connect with them before giving advice, help or opening your heart ask them as a new poster to introduce themselves tell us more often trolls don’t come back on the thread they start by throwing in the firework and retreat to watch Keep your advice until we are sure it’s a genuine poster

Diva ah I see what you mean.

It would have made a perfectly reasonable thread until it stopped being about the subject and started getting personal.

That happens a lot on GN . It used to be especially true of the political threads but there seems to have been a huge change there which may or may not have been because of the departure of a number of contributors , I don't know.

thank You Shandi, Maw took a hammering, it was brutal .

May I say to new posters who are thinking of leaving, don’t, a year ago my world collapsed, I was alone, I turned to here and I still say a year on, and will always say, the caring and support here saved my life . And there is fun here too

That's right N &G some posters get upset when others disagree or think they are being unreasonable. Don't ask the question if you don't want an honest answer or opinion. I would not like to see a bland, sugar sweet Gransnet. There are ways of putting comments which are not harsh or unfeeling but remain honest.
I'm not sure of the role of HQ in all this, I am a Nanny, I don't need one.

As are you Annie! I'm glad you are still here!

Anniebach thank you x

GrannyGravy I so remember when you first posted , you were attacked and hadn’t even posted anything unkind, or argumentative, I am so happy you stayed, you are part of the GN community x

Sorry you've been upset,*Maw*.An d hope you're feeling better now.
I was away most of last week so probably missed all the gannins on.

Windy weather??? Ffs ?

Yes, I too agree that things became rather unpleasant on one or two threads over Christmas and it did seem as if one or two of the posters seemed hell bent on destroying GN. Newcomers could, I think, have been quite put off remaining, and indeed, some well established posters, too. I think that would be very sad, and I think we have to stick together. There's a difference between heated discussion and nastiness, and I'm afraid there was some nastiness about. Let us hope these posters have moved on/away.
Felice, please don't give up on GN, and post again about some of your worries. There are more nice, caring people on GN than unpleasant ones, and I'm sure you will get plenty of support, reassurance and help. ?

Have a look, it wa the post about Wetherspoons, unpleasant barbed personal comments.............

Diva I'm sorry someone was rude to you but may I ask
( as I didn't see it) were they rude or did they just disagree with you ?

I think it could be seen as unwelcoming if a something you post is strongly disagreed with but the problem is how to be both welcoming and to disagree - if you see what I mean?

From a slighly different perspective, I am a long time member, over Christmas I returned to Gransnet and posted comments on a few threads. One in particular became quite vitriolic, two established members were both rude and unpleasant. Not very welcoming at all and enough possible toput someone of a fainter heart off for good!!

Anniebach is the only reason I stayed on GN I think she is a warm and welcoming lady xxx

I'm so glad that you began this thread MawBroon. It has helped several newer members realise that Gransnet is a good and happy site on the whole. I too have been dismayed by the vitrolic nature of a few posters. For some reason it always seems to happen at Christmas, I nearly left two years ago for the same reason, but just stepped back from frequent posting and only appear now and then these days.
Felice please try posting a new thread with your concerns, I'm sure there will be others on here who have been through what you are and can give you support in the run up to your operation. Good luck, I am sure it will all go well and this time next week you will wonder why you were so anxious.
Anniebach, the site would not be the same without you and your kind and thoughtful comments.

Maybe CariGN is sitting on the norty step eating cake. ?

Or, perhaps, in a corner, rocking quietly.

It reduced me to tears, I wanted to leave but didn’t want to leave because my family are here

Felice, wishing you all the best in your recovery! Hope you have lots of good books to read!

I'll be the first to admit to some of my posts having been a tad acerbic, but they've been in answer to others which were equally so and when you have been bullied the tendency is to naturally bite back, although it's not in my " real " nature to do so.

In fact, although I say it myself, I'm one of the easiest people to get on with--------to a fault !

I was also quite upset by some of the things that were posted in the last few weeks. On one thread I did say I was thinking of leaving because of one particular poster even though their post was not directed at me but concerning what they had been doing and their rather hurtful comments to other people. I am still in two minds and can only hope things get back to the "nice, helpful, friendly" place GN was when I joined. I have had some real support from some very caring people both on line and in the real world.
Come on GNHQ its time to get your act together and act.

I agree with the majority of the earlier posts .

I generally stay out of trouble but managed to get involved in a firestorm here over Christmas. I do feel that people often only want to hear what they want to hear so if you post that you actually disagree they can get very angry .

I see no value in not giving an open , honest and hopefully polite reply .

I do agree with with Izabellas post and I am sometimes surprised by the way GN treat their key assets - namely us. Sorry GNHQ - I generally enjoy being here but of late I’m questioning what I’m actually getting here .