fifty shades of dust and clutter

My house would look literally immaculate to the untrained eye. Everything in it's place, uncluttered surfaces etc etc.
But don't look too carefully! Can't remember when the windows were cleaned. Don't move an ornament or you'll see the dust on it and around it. I hate washing the tiled floor in the huge downstairs hall. But if I do those real jobs, it does give me a feeling of contentment!

I love a tidy clean house!

I'd love a tidy house. When I was first married everything was just lovely-OK we were both out at work all day.
I remember a friend coming round after my first son was born & she laughed & said that at last my house looked like a home & not a show house.
DH no. 2 changed things for me. He is so untidy-hoards things, never clears up anything & TBH I have pretty much given up. It's just a thankless task to keep up with it all.
He is still working so even if I do keep house clear it is only until he gets home. I dread to think what it would look like left to him.
I can't even get I to his study to clean & hoover & now it has spread to hall & dining room.
I give up!
-

My DH is without a doubt a slob.......a handsome, charming, talented, fantastic in bed slob. He has never knowingly, hung up clothing, shut a door, put anything away, wiped up in the kitchen, etc etc. He has his own man cave which is a complete nightmare. But at least it's all contained.

I'm not obsessive about tidiness but do like the bathroom & kitchen to be clean & tidy. Clothes are clean not necessarily ironed .

I'd rather be outside in the garden or enjoying the glorious Devon coast & countryside (I live on the edge of Dartmoor) on nice days.

My home is small & storage is at a premium, my dining table is my office. Lots of photos, books, pictures & ornaments in my Lounge plus my Orchid collection & a few more houseplants.

I have a fridge magnet which says "only dull women have immaculate houses" & another which says "you can look at the dust but please don't write in it" . Luckily my DH was uninterested in housework.

I think dust rats are related to the fluff bunnies that live under my bed.

So agree with you Carly. I love space and no clutter...my husband is a hoarder. When he retires soon, we may come to blows! I’m seriously considering having an ongoing clear out from now until he’s actually finished work. He won’t notice that a lot of stuff in the house has been chucked, and then it’ll be easier for me to keep it how I like it...and I can nag him to not make an almighty mess ( he’ll never tidy anything). Your idea of two separate dwellings sounds good to me as well though!

I try to be houseproud, but I’m afraid it often slips away from me. I have a very untidy and messy OH, and if I try too hard with the housework, I just get so annoyed. He can sabotage a full morning of my cleaning etc in minutes, leaving me fuming. It’s partly the mess itself, but also the taking for granted someone will be along to clear up in a minute.... I’ve found that as he won’t change, it’s best to not be as particular as I would like, to avoid getting myself irritated and stressed by it.

The only time I get into full panic mode is when my SIL is expected. She cleans like a woman possessed (floors washed at least daily) and has a way of ignoring any mess that is quite mortifying.

I hate clutter but live with a husband who puts things down on the nearest surface. We each have a side table beside our armchair. His has two phones on it, unopened mail, his wallet, head phones, tooth picks, new parts to fix washing machine, and receipts. Mine has a neat pile of magazines. When his table is full I see him pass something on to my table. When he's not looking I place it back on his. Oh the games we play!

I do it for myself as I think the house just feels lighter and more airy when it's clean and tidy (and much healthier to live in) but my OH just plonks things down all over the place (I think he sees a clear surface as a welcome to put something down on it). I've let my standards slip over the years (had to or get divorced!) and so lost interest in the house, but when he was away for work I'd have it the way I wanted it to be. For me, the ideal would be for us to have separate flats - living next door to each other - so that I could have my space clean and tidy, and he could have his messy. Am still working on that one !

Unfortunately I am naturally an untidy person, unlike my mother and daughter who are clean freaks. Now my place is on the market so whenever I have a viewing I have to whiz around tidying up and cleaning. It is very galling if the viewer does not turn up (as has happened 3 times) and I am left with a clean tidy home and nobody to see it.
By the way my small bedroom is not used. Yesterday morning expecting a viewing I went in there with my vacuum and discovered a HUGE spider web across the floor from the door curtain to the chest of drawers. The door leads out to the garden and the curtain is to keep draughts out. The web was at least half an inch thick. I am an arachnophobe. but I had to deal with it, as hubby passed away about three years ago. My vacuum could not suck it up, and I had to wind it up around the nozzle. This morning it was back again, just as thick, in a slightly different place. It is no exaggeration to say half an inch. I think the spider must have gone back and forth several times across the same area. No spider could spin a single web that size - could it? It must be behind the door curtain which I am petrified to move....

I am so tidy in my mind....I just can't put it into practice. If I am going to have family visit I chuck everything into my cabin and galley cupboards.
Then a sweep and damp wipe down to remove dust from the multifuel burner that seems to get everywhere. My brother is going to visit. He has never seen my boat....He will want the full tour. Oh gawd....I need help.

I have always tried to maintain a tidy house. Now my DH has always told me I fuss too much, iron too much, clean too much. Given the years of mutterings from him I decided to stop ironing his clothing, just left the mess in the kitchen after our dinner, didn't even make the bed in the morning, left his towel on the bathroom floor. No comments from him until two days later when he asked why his clothes looked so wrinkled and was I unwell as the kitchen was a mess, no recycling had been put out, basically commenting all the work I hadn't done. Gave him the explanation that as he had seen all those chores as me being "too fussy" I just wasn't going to bother any longer. Didn't take long for his mind to be changed, even does the hoovering for me a couple of times a week now.

This thread has me smiling beninghly about my Mum when I first moved into my own accommodation. She somewhat despaired of my lack of domestic interest and resorted to 'Please at least stay tidy. It gives the impression of clean'. I always think of her and give an upward nod when I maintain tidiness just to keep her aware that I did sometimes listen!

This is such an interesting thread & I love the title it made me smile! Actually as regards cleaning it’s my DH who is the clean freak (heck he’s sweeping the floor tiles as I type this and he’s already peeled the potatoes for dinner this evening, bless). He’s happiest when he’s busy. Truly.
I did read once that a man doesn’t care how much dust is under the bed as long as he’s having a good time on top of it!

My house is an absolute tip with Dh clutter and rubbish everywhere. I hate it and am too embarrassed to invite friends round - fortunately I live on the top of a steep hill and not many people risk walking up unless they have checked I am in first. Getting DH to clear anything is an impossible task and he will have a stressful fit if I pursue it and as he had open heart surgery 4 years ago I daren't risk it - not for him so much as for me. It's not fair though and It makes our relationship very strained as although I give in I know I shouldn't.

Regarding smelly loos I can, however, give a helpful tip. Go in with a box of matches, strike one, blow it out and let the resultant smoke clear the air. Sounds unlikely but it actually works.

Are you the Mary Hoffman who writes childrens' and teenagers' books?

I think I'm halfway! I like tidiness but as a writer, when I'm working on a book, my study is far from tidy. I have books and papers littered all around. We are trying to sell our house so when we have a viewing we tidy up all over the big house. Takes about an hour and a half.

I would love my house to be as you describe but all I can say its fairly clutter free and clean. There are so many other things that get in the way of cleaning and today is an example. I am all ready to go out with my OH cycling in Wales, dressed up warm and lots of stops for a hot drink.

I think part of why we clean is to feel good about ourselves - seeing a neat, tidy and clean home lends us self-esteem and self-respect. Everything is in order and that leads to a quiet mind and a quiet heart … until we're driven to doing it all over again!f

This is one of my favourite poems, and sums up my attitude to housework. My house is fairly clean, and fairly tidy, and I am perfectly happy with the way it is. It's a lot tidier since DH passed on, as he was the messier of the two of us, and also a bit of a hoarder, but a bit of clutter makes the place look lived-in. I dislike visiting houses that look pristine. So boring without a bit of mess! I have only one 'neat' friend!

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Rose Milligan

You see some of these minimal houses...a white carpet, a bowl of flowers on the sparkling coffee table, work surfaces all neat and bare...and you think 'what do they DO all day? Once you've sat for half an hour admiring it...how do you keep occupied? Where's the hobby stuff, the coats in the hall, the piles of books...?" My house is far from tidy but you could keep entertained for hours with all the STUFF!

I keep the flat tidy just incase something happens. Does anyone who lives alone have this problem? Moreover, I am trying to sort the cupboards over time as I don't want the family to have to clear out what I have accumulated over the years. However that being said the 2 cellars and garage are full.

We call the fluff under the bed sluts wool. I fight a never ending battle against dog hair and paw marks on our hard floors. I'm so glad we don't have carpets they don't mix well with 3 dogs and a cat.

Trisher I agree life is too short! I always remember my MIL saying to me in later life just before she died. I wish I had spent more time playing with my children I was always too busy cleaning and tidying to do anything with them . Her house was always pristine with nothing out of place. She also declutteted regularly. I never felt comfortable there, neither did my children. My SIL home was the same. I always felt like Hyacinths Buckets friend in their homes.. Scared we might make a mess or break something.

Could Mr Petunia be in some way related to my 21 year-old daughter, who went back to uni today? My DH has just made three trips into her room removing plates, glasses, mugs and towels