Our personal heroes

Bluebell I understand regarding the choice of forum. I’m fairly new to posting & I had got used to the chat one so I apologise if you feel it’s wrong on this forum. GNHQ didn’t congratulate me. I contacted them to ask if it would be better to change the wording of my op. They said no & it was a lovely sensitive thread. Thanks to the members who are supporting a thread to share feelings about those we have loved and lost. I would talk about mine all day and to anyone who would care to listen. We are all different & as long as the intentions are well meant then it shouldn’t be an issue. As they say if it’s not for you then just avoid it. There have been many wonderful people mentioned here and we should respect that. If for any reason people prefer to keep things private that should be respected too. There’s no right or wrong and there should certainly be no negative feelings towards those who have posted.

I wasn't criticising the thread

No Merlot it doesn't but I think it is insensitive to criticise on such a personal thread when the motivation was clearly good. What about "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything". Obviously not on all threads but on the sensitive ones.

Isn’t that what the bereavement forum is for Nonnie when it becomes chat it dilutes everything
This is a chat forum anyway I ve said what I feel here on page 4 so hardly I m taking part on a thread I don’t much like
It’s for each to decide but there’s no reason I can’t add an opinion

Does simply posting on a thread mean you are applauding it though?

So many threads are criticised these days and usually by the same people that you start to wonder if it's worth posting because it will probably end up in one of GNHQ's 'bun fights.'

I agree with the comments about grief being personal but nobody is being forced to reveal anything on this or any other thread.

Why not just ignore a thread if it isn't to your taste? I think the OP was well-meaning and we all grieve in our different ways. I don't go on threads which don't interest me or where I don't feel I can helpfully contribute.

When my DS died I mentioned it on here but didn't say a great deal about it. That was my way. Others in similar situations have said more, that is their way. There may be others who have lost a child who have said nothing, that is their way. I really don't see the need to snipe on this sort of thread, There are others where it might be more appropriate but surely not this one?

I m afraid I have to agree with those that say it is not a thread to applaud and the very reason I didn’t partake in it from the beginning
Grief is very, very individual and very private and my grief is not for others unknown to me to read about.
I would take comfort to share with good friends and family but on a public forum it feels intrusive and a little voyeuristic a bit like the ‘true life ‘ stories in some women’s mags
I m amazed that HQ can find time to congratulate you Vicki when they don’t have time to monitor the threads you must be honoured

I understand MawBroon, please accept my genuine empathy to you and all who suffer.

Bridgeit just to say I have found Gransnet members to be wonderfully supportive but of course we do have a whole forum dedicated to “Bereavement” and there are many genuinely sensitive threads on the subject.
Those who have suffered bereavement especially the loss of a life partner or a child will surely know what I mean.
But I said I would say no more so I won’t.

Loss

Can we agree that however it is/was worded it was a good intention to share, empathise , support all who have suffered lose.

Anniebach, I couldn’t agree more. It’s what I was dreading but you live & learn. I do hope it doesn’t put people off but I’d understand.

It’s possibly in the wrong area too but hey that’s ‘newbies’ for you. I’m still navigating.

So sad a thread where posters have spoken of lost loved ones has become unpleasant

I tried to change that merlotgran and say ‘let’s make it a thread’ instead of let’s make it a year (which really meant a year of using the thread) but they said no.

It's only the first few words of the OP that may be inappropriate. We've had threads before where posters share memories of people/family members they admired. I don't remember any objections then but I could be wrong.

So true Bridgeit & very wise.

Never a truer word Missaventure. I’m not understanding this at all ❤️

Gushing of tears in my case MawBroon but then I’m quite a sensitive soul, with a tough shell. I’ve needed it.

Surely the easiest solution is just not to post on a thread that doesn't appeal?

Please ladies don’t see offense where there was none.
We all deal with our circumstances differently. When we contribute on forums such as this, we don’t know each other & cannot see expressions or body language , this can sometimes lead to a misinterpretation of clumsily written words & a belief that an insult has ensued when it actual fact none was intended.

I don’t think you understand the word “gushed”.

I gushed like a baby after I wrote about my friend and thought about others I’ve lost recently, including my father in law who I loved dearly. It’s been a long time and releasing my tears helped me a lot. That’s just me though and as they say if it’s not for you then best avoid.

You may share your feelings but don’t presume to share the feelings of others.
Go ahead and share all you like but don’t intrude on the feelings of others with an original post which comes across as cheap and tacky. Too like some of the gushing I was unfortunate enough to be subjected to.
I’m following lisagran’s example.