Are young mothers really better off than in the past ?

My DDs both work f/t. They also take the lead role in managing the children and their care Finance is shared with fathers, housework is also shared but not always equally. Food shopping always their responsibility! Sounds similar to my life!!

My impression is that young women see themselves as more independent than in reality, they are. The young women I know, still do the bulk of the emotional and practical/domestic care of the children, as well as working full or part time. Their partners / fathers of their children often spend more time with the children than my father's generation did but they also seem to play out 'with the lads' a lot more than men in either my father's or my own generation did.
All young parents face the challenges of their age but I agree with the OP, I don't see young mothers today as having it easy at all.

oldbatty and Anja I agree totally with your posts.

My first child was born in 1980 and I don't think much has changed better or worse since then. I stayed in hospital for 6 hours and then went home. I took 3 months maternity leave (my choice) and was paid in full He arrived 2 weeks late so went back to work full time when he was 10 weeks old. I arranged my own childcare. I had a car and tbh the only problem was making friends where I lived because I had very little contact with anyone except my immediate neighbours. My Daughter in law is currently pregnant has had a huge amount of time off as she seems to be struggling health wise compared to me who sailed through the whole thing, but no two pregnancies are alike but yeah I think I would have struggled if like her I felt ill all the time. I was living in London and commuting into central London everyday so that would have been an issue but that's got nothing to do with the year more the health of the pregnant woman.

Anja your experience was different to mine in mid 70s. I was in hospital for 9/10 days and went on mat leave first day of Jan term. Did not have to return until.Sept.

Sometimes I read Mumsnet posts and want to weep for what these girls put up with. I marched for women's rights back in the 60's, but nothing much seems to have improved from what I see now.

oldbatty I also think this urge to ‘do too much for the children’ is very expensive and not always a Good Idea.

Trips out were a treat, most of the time children played with other children, even if it was just in the back garden or in the house. Nowadays every day of the school holidays have to be packed with outings ? and children have too many toys. Leaves little room for imagination.

Financially single Mothers (mainly if the Father has parental responsibility by being added to the birth cert) are much better off financially now. They are supported very generously by our Government plus they can get support from the Father, which is not taken into account when benefits are assessed. This is a surprise to many people, and wasn't the case in the past.

I wasn't a single parent but was self-employed. No maternity payments so I had to return to work quick sharp.

I am going to sounds like a right old bat....but I think in some cases consumerism has taken over.

" Having stuff " is the new God and seems to take precedence over other things.

Girls go home after one or two days of giving birth, and go back to work when the baby is a couple of months old

Yes, the entitlement is far more than I ever had. As a teacher in the early 70s I had to return to work a mere 6 weeks after giving birth or lose my job. And I left hospital two days after a forcepts delivery.

It is difficult to compare then and now as so much has changed. I agree that expectations are much higher now and whilst this can be a good thing for some people others will find it hard to cope.
There continues to be a big financial divide even though some say its relative.

stella1949 Girls go home after one or two days of giving birth, and go back to work when the baby is a couple of months old
Actually women are entitled to 6 months maternity pay and can take another 6 month unpaid leave if they can afford to. They can then return to work at the level they took their leave. We had to give up work and just manage and when you went back you were lucky to get anything and often were at a lower level.
Both parents can ask for their hours to be adjusted to accommodate child care.
Not living together wasn't a choice for most women because they were financially dependant on men.
Are these young women happy? I really don't know, but they certainly have more choice than we did.

I think another trend apparent these days and not so much in the olden days is that of the by choice older mother.

I was 42 having dd and, being financially well-established by then, did not have to go back to to work so soon.

I went back eventually though! .

These days, Working TC and improved maternity arrangements make it possible for those who really need to return. Childcare has improved no end too.

I felt isolated, but at least had kiddie telly and a car.

We do have a VERY good child friendly garden centre local to us. The grandsons used to love it.

Yes, definitely child friendly shops. And buggies rather than our op big prams that really weren't at home in shops. Well I remember carrying a littleun round whilst leaving the pram outside.

gonegirl not much fun from what I see..kids confined, anxious mums...we just let ours loose in the garden whilst in the kitchen we put the world to rights over copious cups of Nescafe!!

Maryeliza I had my first baby in 1968. Yes PECS , we did go to each others' houses but I don't think it was as much fun as the garden centre cafe meet-ups I mentioned.

I would have loved child friendly shops!

Lugging a heavy baby on a hip whilst holding on tight to the hand of a toddler and somehow carrying a basket as well.

Thank goodness I could drive into town and in those days you could at least park in the high street. These days I often have a wry chuckle when I'm looking for a place to park and have to drive past Mother and Child spaces!

gonegirl I could not drive so like you confined to what I could do on foot or public transport..but so was everyone else. We met in each others' homes & at the toddler group or in " the swing park". Fewer cafe outings I agree but we had baby sitting circles where we sat for each other so we could go out. I was lucky as my parents were always happy to have overnight visitors if DH &I had a special invite or 'do' to cebrate!

Chew you are quite right - 1971 8% of families were single parents and by 1998 it was 25% and it’s been about that percentage since. Gonewhat decade are you referring to? In the early 80s I regularly met up with my NCT group, we all had our own cars - it really is impossible to generalise as the range then as now was and is huge. I think one big change though is more mothers working overall when children are younger across the socioeconomic spectrum. I also feel that the differences in motherhood between the 60s, 70s and 80s are very marked. I guess on here we have examples of all 3 decades ( and no doubt later) so the comparisons are even more complex.

meant not meany

I do feel quite (retrospectively) envious when I see groups of young mums in the garden centre cafes with their little ones in prams, all sitting around and chatting. Nothing like that in my day. It was so easy to become isolated. We had no cars we could pop the baby in and go off on a little jolly. All going out meany walking or public transport.

I'm possibly wrong but there seems to be more single mum's, coping with children on their own now, than I remember from when I was a young mum. In fact, I don't think I can remember one single parent from amongst my peer group. It has to be so very much harder for them to juggle parenting, work and home issues alone and, frequently, on a single income. My ex was a pretty ineffectual parent but he did provide monetarily.

Comparisons are difficult when the contect has changed so much. Societal expectations, even in late 70s when I had my DDs, was still quite strong that a mother would be the one to care for kids at home. My DH was quite hands on & he also worked extra jobs to make up for my loss of earnings. In practical terms laundry, cleaning, shopping is probably all easier now but cost of living / expectations are way different to when I was a young mum. Some you win, some you lose! It is certainly different..but better or worse I would not commit!

Stella, I agree with everything you say here. I am amazed at how much the mothers of today are expected to do. I could never have gone back to work full time, cooking and caring for the baby took the entire waking day in the 60s. DH supported me and paid the bills and did not expect me to contribute while I was caring for the children.
I see what my DIL does and I am in awe.