The Minister for Loneliness shares her thoughts.....

FFS it was just a suggestion. They have to start somewhere. Are old people the property of the state? Do all old people have no resources or personal pride? Do families have no responsibility? Not every older person is lonely. No one solution will suit everyone. The suggestion of family holidays is a start. It works well for lots of people.

This seems to be another instance of the Nanny state in action. My children both seem to be quite keen on us going on holiday with theirs respective families, but these days it is exhausting, as this year with DD and hers. Then when my son suggested we have a week with them this coming year I asked where he had in mind. “I thought we might walk Hadrian’s Wall. Would you like that?” Well no, actually, not these days! There is either method in their madness or they simply don’t want to recognise that we are slowing down! ?. I would rather that both families answered their phones a bit more often when we call them rather than cart us off on holiday with them.

Loneliness is not caused by being alone. It's caused by being unneeded. Sharing holidays as an unwanted adjunct of the younger family isn't many people's idea of a good time.

The sooner we all realise that these ministers for this that and the other are all failing miserably, the better.

Last week we had the useless minister for aviation over the drone debacle then news yesterday telling Sajid Javid to " get a grip " on immigration and now we have this interfering minister for loneliness who knows nothing.

Can someone tell me why we need these " non-jobs " and how much are they earning for doing nothing ?

I can fully understand why John Cleese brought about the minister for " silly walks " in his skit all those years ago.
Things haven't changed have they ?

A lot of elderly people alone can barely manage everyday things.
This minister should log into a carers site (and here!) to read of peoples struggles, including carers!

I wonder if her words have been twisted.

It IS worth looking at countries where less loneliness is reported and seeing what they do differently.

Not in the simplistic way it has been reported though.

People need TIME to care about others.

I think its disgusting that non emergency/key workers now have to work Sundays, bank holidays, Christmas etc. That should be time when families are freed up to call in on neighbours or relatives but the reality is that parents are tag-teaming, working opposite each other, so there is no day of the week when everyone is free to arrange visits or have visitors etc

That's terrible Muffin what dysfunctional parents you had, you did so well to get back unharmed. I should think you treasure your own children now.
The Minister for Loneliness like a lot of her ilk has no idea how ordinary people live their lives. Unlike some other countries the UK no longer has a tradition of families caring for their elderly relatives.

I now have a longing to see Outside Edge with Mims and Roger.

Years ago lemon no one was on zero hours contracts, because there were proper jobs. Pretending that it's OK to make people work under such conditions or that it doesn't impact on families is rubbish. Did you see the figures? More women on zero hours contracts than in proper jobs? How does that help?

Last time I was abroad with my mother was before I was a teenager.

At a toilet stop on a day trip, she snatched my bag off me with my money, bus tickets and passport in it, slapped me in the mouth, said she wished I was dead, and ordered the rest of the family back on the bus without me.

Luckily it was a town, albeit a small one, and I managed to locate the French consulate (inadequate Spanish on account of being only eleven), explain haltingly what had happened, and plead for the bus fare back to the resort. I will remain eternally grateful for the sad faced guy with the flawless English who reached into his wallet for the change, gave me a tourist map and explained the way back to the resort, because by god was I stuck.

Returned to the apartment in darkness, knocked on the door, dad let me in and shrugged and said “I expected you would figure out how to get back.” You arse, you let the crazy woman leave me an hour away in a foreign country with no money or documents or tickets and you just went along with it??

There is no way on earth I will ever leave the country with either of that pair again, let alone with my beloved children on the trip. God knows what might happen.

The advice isn’t impossible, and it’s up to everyone to decide if they should act on it or not.
There are millions of women not on zero hours contracts
It’s a mistake to become fixated on it and act as if the whole country was.
Holidays with grandparents or just more regular visiting them would go a long way.

The problem is that more women are on zero hours contracts now lemon
women make up a bigger proportion of those reporting working on “zero-hours contracts” (52%) compared with women in employment not on “zero-hours contracts” (47%)
These women will also be the people unable to pay for care for their elderly relative. Their relatives are less likely to have financial means and more likely to need family assistance. If the minister really cared about the elderly she would be looking at ways to help not dishing out impossible advice.

My mum and dad often came on holiday with us. My dad was particularly great at amusing the children, they were great times. And on occasion MiL came. Although we didnt really get on we did tolerate each other quite well, the children loved her. I cant wait til we get to go on holiday with my DD and GC. It's been discussed but hasnt been practical yet. A holiday home for wrinklies doesn't excite me at all. I still enjoy bopping to a good rock band.

We go away with AC and GC.

Have been away with 2 AC and their wives, Daughter, partner and 4 GC. Hard at times, noisy, fun and made many fabulous memories.

Trying to sort out for this year also.

The whole country isn’t on zero hours contracts !
I expect this Minister is actually trying to come up with some solutions to older age loneliness, which of course will be shot down in flames.I agree with you Maggiemaybe.

My grandchildren and daughter would be very disappointed if we didnt go on holiday with them.

Well I do family holidays and have for the past 15 years. 4 generations of us until this year when my mum died, so down to 3. Maybe it is unusual I don't really know.
What I find completely unacceptable is this woman telling people they need to talk to their employers about arranging time to care for elderly relatives. This is the same government that has called zero hours contracts proper jobs. I can imagine someone in that position asking for time off.
"I need time to care for my elderly mum"
"I'll cut your hours then."
"But I need x amount to pay my rent."
"Not my problem. You need the money, you work the hours."
"But I need time to care for my mum."
This Minister may have been a carer but she obviously lives a very different life to most carers.

I agree that many young well meaning people can come across as condescending.

There is a local charity which goes into care homes, hands out tamborines and plays music from the 30s and 40s. Whilst I don't doubt their good intentions they seem to forget that many of the people in these homes were teenagers in the 50s and 60s and just don't relate to Glenn Miller, Vera Lynn or The Andrew Sisters.

We used to do 'Three generation Holidays' at Peebles Hydro for years. It suited everyone very well. Lots for kids to do so we (middle generation) were happy and the older generation did their own thing during the day and we all met up for dinner at night. Various teas and coffees too and all enjoyed some of the activities together. You don't have to be joined at the hip on a family holiday.

Perhaps Gransnet should invite Mim Davies to a live discussion on the practicalities of being older and how overcoming some of the practicalities can help to keep us stronger in body and spirit!

I'm probably the odd one out here when I say that I much prefer the company of younger people and the thought of joining any club etc with the elderly in mind just fills me with horror.
Apologies if I sound insulting in any way but I don't mean to be it's just the way I am.
I'm quite happy being alone, but not lonely, as I've never gone along with any trips or entertainment which was specifically for our age group.
I've always got on with younger people and being surrounded by 7 GGC I can't afford to feel anything other than " young ".

I agree totally maggiemaybe and I find myself wanting to invite this ‘Minister’ to join GN so that she can experience the flip side. In the main we don’t have carers but many of us ARE carers. Seems to me that the problem is on of perception - younger well meaning people think that they know what the older generation need but as they haven’t experienced it they don’t really have a clue!

I can only say, we as a young family, had one very miserable holiday by taking my mother with us.
She was overbearing anyway all her life but two weeks away was a nightmare.
I am sure many families enjoy having Gran or Grandad with them to play with the children and contribute to the fun and activities, mine didn't.
If we didn't do what she wanted she sulked and actually , during a picnic, clutched her chest as the pain was terrible and told me her heart was weak.
I'm afraid I got her some indigestion tablets, which seemed to cure the heart att ack as she lived to 101 in very good health.
I am sorry to divert the thread but just wanted to point out all old people are not kind and loving.

My family took me on many caravan holidays which was lovely when the children were younger - pre-teens. I don't think it would work now that they have their own agendas although they are both very caring and affectionate. And, of course, I'm getting older and less inclined to join in activities and outings. A lot also depends on how well you get on with your in-laws. I've been lucky with my DiL, but now she and my son have split up which makes joint holidays impossible. Lovely memories though.

I recently read an article by Liz Earle about places (so-called Blue Zones) where people live long and happy lives in some places on the planet. There are commonalities in these places as to how people live that include daily exercise, familial bonding and community spirit or belonging. Here's an extract:

I was met with an incredulous stare when I asked about the number of care homes for the elderly when visiting the Greek island of Ikaria: the answer being "There are none". The elderly are cared for, respected, enjoyed and revered by the younger generations.

(And 're staying active:

"Many of the nonagenarians I met lived up steep hills and had no choice but to stay active just walking home").

And here we need a "Minister for Loneliness" and for just about everything else!