The Minister for Loneliness shares her thoughts.....

More helpful if they spent the money on technology in order to help the elderly to be able to stay in their homes and communicate with everyone at the same time! Read a lovely article in the times this week about a family that had done just that for a much loved dad and grandad. Compared to the 50k it would have cost to put him in a home it was vastly cheaper and his life was so enriched by being able to chat and see his lovely family.

Charleygirl5you can borrow my lot if you like. You will not weary I'll stay at home and have a rest..

I once went on a family holiday with my mum and dad and swore I would never, ever, do it again. Overbearing, bossy and demanding that describes my mum.

Isn't it more about cultural attitude to family? In some parts of the world families compartmentalise into smaller age related groups and in other societies the cross generation family group is the organisation. In the latter childcare and elderly care may be less of an issue. Neither structure will be perfect and we will view it based on our own experience. I am shocked when I hear some parents' views that their responsibility for a child ends at 18 but for others it is perfectly OK.

Annsixty Only once did we take my mother and aunt, her sister, with us on holiday. Without going into detail once was enough.

That was just an example!! It's good that there's actually an interest in identifying a possible range of options. Consultation with older people would be a good starting point.

Maybe the 'minister for loneliness' could explain who is going to pay for these holidays now the government has defrauded women out of the pensions they were expecting at age 60 How hypocritical to preach that families should take GP's with them on holiday whilst stealing their money at the same time. You couldn't make it up.

The list looks like it pertains to older people in their 80s. I don't need my rubbish taken out.
The time people start to separate from mainstream is when they retire or when their partner dies (or becomes very infirm).

What are Panaches, please?

My worst nightmare. I adore my children and grandchildren but a two week holiday ...noooook

Grannyknot, a place like a Greek island, where extended families probably live close to each other, is a very different situation from many of us in the U.K., where families are so often scattered, and the women of the middle generation so often still need to work to pay the bills.
Comparisons in such cases are pointless.

Let's not forget, also, that so much elderly care, whether own parents or in-laws, so often falls on the woman of the family, because the male either 'can't' or won't, because its 'wife-work'.
Being familiar with Greece (and I do love it) I wouldn't mind betting that in many such Greek communities, the men who are no,longer working will be sitting in the cafe half the day while the women are getting on with it all.

I think younger families can be very insuler these days. Perhaps it was always so. I don't think so though. They can afford more holidays and outings than was the case in the past. We get the photos sent on messenger which, although lovely, can make you feel a bit left out.

I think it's a good thing to have this Ministry. Loneliness amongst the elderly is a fact.

It depends on the personalities involved, surely? My late MIL was taken on holiday, largely against her will, by her bolshie oldest son. I expect he appreciated her free baby-sitting. She found it an ordeal and hated every minute of it. Mind you, they didn't get on at the the best of times but that's another story.

I have one elderly neighbour who sold her house a few years back. She has a retirement flat which she really loves, nice neighbours to chat too and the shops are just round the corner. I saw her just before Christmas and she was going to stay with her daughter in Gloucester. She’s a very friendly person and always chats to people and always out and about. I really admire her she lost her husband a while back but has made a life for herself.

God save us from pious and patronising ministerial pronouncements!

Some GPs will enjoy extended family hols, some would run a mile from having young Gdcs around non stop for a week or more - no matter how much they love them. Plenty will want to do their own, entirely adult thing. So much will depend on the individuals/family dynamics, etc.

This is entirely on a par with whichever pious minister it was, saying how nasty we in the U.K. are, to put our elderly in care homes, when 'in other countries' people look after their own. (Which is in any case far from invariably true.)

I used to just 'love it' ha ha when some pious government git with zero experience of looking after someone with dementia 24/7, would tell me what I 'ought to' be doing.

My father is 90 and while the idea of taking him on a little holiday with us has some appeal, the practicalities are difficult. Toilet issues are a nightmare now and we find he's unwell or confused if he's away from his own house for too long. He can't cope with disruption to his routine.
It's a hard one ..... Balancing what you feel you want to do with what is possible.

So true notanan,

Exactly notanan2

Elderly people dont want to be the "responsibility" of the community, or young people, or their family.

They want to be enabled to have a ROLE WITHIN the community or their family & be valued, not pitied and patronised

Loneliness is not caused by being alone. It's caused by being unneeded

Bingo!
You can feel lonelier in a crowd than alone.
Its about your place/purpose in the dynamic of a group. If you feel "tagged on" to a group it can feel very lonely

That would be my idea of hell too aggie give me a luxury hotel any time.

Perhaps Gransnet should invite Mim Davies to a live discussion

That's a great idea, Mamissimo. We could have a few of the others in as well to discuss issues that affect us.

Three weeks in France under canvas ? Not on your nellie !! I have had Family holidays when it was my Children , we never took our parents !

It isn’t really trying very hard to suggest something obvious and expect people to say, ‘Oh, yes, that’s a good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?’.
People in their 80s are criticised when they continue to drive their cars and their bus services are cut, as are their day centres. Restoring funding to these services would do much to restore independence, and be a lot more use than hectoring the rest of the family.

Well said Jane!

Help with mobility is generally needed perhaps in the form of cycle tracks that are accessible also to mobility scooters. I'd also like there to be sort of venue similar to a pub where opening hours are a lot longer than the usual one or two hour slot at a church hall on one specified day per week.

Now that 'the high street' is defunct local neighbourhood shopping areas will reappear and those could include an elderly-friendly pub.