Through our kindness we make a bad situation worse
We do, Urmstongran
I remember an ex colleague teeling us ho she despaire of her 17 yr old son. He left school, refused to get a job or to thinking about training or college courses. He staye in his bedroom and went out with friends at night and got legless. He progressed to weed, then cocaine. - no one made him do it. He had a sound homelife and loving parents.
He became abusive, uncooperative and started stealing from his parents and relatives to fund his habit. My ex colleague sought counselling from him, drove him to appointments, but he preferred his drink and drugs to normality. They did everything in their power to help him. In the end he trashed their house after having his druggie girlfriend and pals stay for the weekend when they were away. They found excrement in their bed and the dogs basket and foul abuse scrawled on their framed wedding photos.
They gave up then, told him to leave and come back when he could live like a decent human being. His mother handed him cards for counselling and hostels on his way out. It broke her heart and she still wonders "Why?" Last they heard he was on the streets and begging.
Not everyone on the streets is a poor, homeless wretch. Lots of addicts bring hell to the door of their families and cannot be helped until they want to change. My ex-colleague's son is NOT a nice person. They cannot live in hostels for the same reason. They are anti-social.
It's an awful plight but I refuse to enable anyone to continue living a half life. I do help those charities that aid the homeless and make regular donations - to charity shops and food banks as well.