Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Put another couple of Lemon's mince pies to one side for me, please Trev and a pint of Drambuie with one ice cube and a slice of lemon. ?
Cant understand it but I'm feeling very lively and "full of beans" so I'll fetch a couple of crates up from the cellar and tap a few barrels.
Big Jims nowhere to be seen, he's a bit miffed at Marydoll and her Santa liaison.
He thought he was
"the one"!!! ?

Sorry I didn’t drop by to take my turn for kitchen duties, am full of cold and coughing fit to bust!
Any ferret soup left?

Our Christmas lights look wonderful, but I do worry about elf and safety, as Doodle has been putting these same lights up since 1959.
Thor looks very fetching tonight in his Santa outfit, not that there’s much of it! Just a hat and a beard worn in a strategic position to cover his modesty.?

I've had a look lemon, it really is very modest; nothing to get worked up about there.
If you're worried about the lights, perhaps I could help you out? I've got a carton of 100 fags that my neighbour brought back, duty free. I could light them all at once and run about with them? Would that work?

Brilliant! But stay away from Thors beard.?

Has any one seen Santa?. He has done a runner. I think it might be the fact that I mentioned the NONUPLETS.

Chewey, would you be able to help out with the babysitting, but no smoking around the mini Santa's.☹️

Would Thor make a good father figure? We could pretend he is Santa.?

Babysitting Marydoll? Babysitting? I spend most of my week babysitting! I come in the Bargy to get hammered on poteen, not babysit. And no way on this earth will I baby sit 9 of 'em! Nope! And how did they grow from 8 of 'em to 9? Have you been up to anything recently again?

Thor doesnt seem to have "the equipment" to be a father Marydoll. I had a sneak preview earlier and it's all smoke and mirrors from the look of it. Best look elsewhere. How about the Admiral?

How very dare you cast aspertions on my whiter than white morals.

Let she who is without sin cast the first stone! I'm only saying, if you know what I mean. ?

Anyway are you up for some babysitting?

You could read one of those books from your stash.?
I hear you have plenty to choose from.?

Are you sure that's santas beard Thor is wearing down there lemon? It's more browny grey than white and I'm sure I saw it move a minute ago . It's not a ferret it it
Fear not marydoll I've just seen Santa and he's in the shed trying to convert his sleigh into a multiple baby buggy. He's trying to make it big enough for dozyuplets as he says the rate your going it will be 12 by Christmas

Well... I suppose I could help out. A bit. But only 4 at a time. Can't cope with more. I'll have Everard, Evangeline, Eustace and Dympna. They're the easiest ones. Pass 'em over 'ere then. <Sigh>

That would be difficult, they are not born yet! ?

Well I have arthritis in my wrists so I'm really only safe with one (no flies on me . I will have the one that sleeps most and poos least please. That leaves 4 (at the current count) needing babycare. lemon come on you can manage one at least. buffy how many can we put you down for?

Chewy is already hammered on poteen, as those are our ferrets, not babies!!
Give Marydoll a chance, she hasn’t had her litter yet.
Doodle you are quite right, my eyesight isn’t what it used to be, it’s a ferret clinging to Thor’s unmentionables.I think it’s Bertie, he does like warm places.

If soop is now up the duff I will be arranging classes about the birds and the bees and the classes will be compulsory. End of.

I could babysit one and that baby will also have to be a good sleeper- none of this 2 am feed lark- I need my sleep. I slept for 9 hours last night so there is a possibility I may not hear the baby as my ears are more attuned to cat cries.

Poor Thor! He's never been the same since Doodle snapped "it" off and we had him repaired on the Insurance.
Pint of Mulled ?Wine please Trev, looking dapper in his tartan thong.
I can probably manage two babies Doodle, they can sleep with the dog in her bed, she's very maternal. ?

Perhaps a better idea would be that we take shifts two of us could look after them all for an hour or so while the rest get plastered have a break and then the next pairing take over for the next shift. If we keep them all in the Argy will can always involve the regulars in a bit of childcare (only if they're not on the poteen of course)
Anyway that's in the future (any idea when the litter babies will be born marydoll). Right now we need to get to some serious drinking planning for the Argy Christmas party. I've stuffed the turkey .... at least I think it was the turkey - although Thor is walking a bit funny at the moment

Charlie haha, it’s not Soop who is up the duff ( although she makes a good plum duff) it’s our Gaelic Glamour Girl Marydoll ( think tartan mini skirt and long flowing auburn wig.)

....AND VERRRRRRY PREGNANT!!! .

Soop however, was present at the "incident" in Edinburgh, that's how she knows everything!

Did you sit on Santa’s knee for a little too long Marydoll?
Have heard that this sort of thing can happen in grottoes!

How did you know!

He was actually visiting the RBS pensioners' Christmas lunch in Edinburgh and came into visit us in the next room as we were making too much noise having such fun and we were definitely more interesting than a load of retired bankers!

Ah, weel, see wha’ comes fra too many drams!

Ah lemon, charleygirl knows marydoll is with child(ren) by Santa. What you don't know is that soop had expressed an sudden urge to clean and tidy everything and charley and I were just commenting on the fact that she too could be "nest building" as she had been in close proximity to Santa too. (soop hasn't actually denied it ). Hope Santa hasn't been visiting anyone else

Ooooohhhh, if any more people have had a "visitation", we could have a whole new site, dedicated to Gransnetters with child!
GNHQ, will be rubbing their hands with glee.
Think of all that advertising revenue.

We will also need a creche in the Argy!
Lots of retired teachers on GN, they could volunteer their services for free.

This is so exciting!!!

Was it an immaculate conception Marydoll?
Wouldn't it be amazing if you had all 8, 9 or whatever the number was at the last count on Christmas Eve? We could have some wise men bringing you gifts. In the absence of finding one of those; we could bring something perhaps?