Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

That’s a bit personal Doodle my DH Mr Magoo initiated me into it after watching someone having it off on a washing machine in Fatal Attraction. He liked a lot of variety in the kitchen but it was a bit messy with us only having a twin tub. And then with us both having cataracts there was a bit of confusion over the hose but best not to dwell on that. Of course those days are well and truly over now since the problems poor Magoo has had with the wilt since growing all the new pot plants he put in the back yard. I have to declare my frying pansexuality because if I’m near anything that vibrates it gives me a funny turn and can make me come over all funny. It’s a strange disability and means I can’t do any vacuuming at home. That’s why the lavvy is my true passion. Nothing vibrating just the happiness I experience stabbing my mop down the pan. Magoo sadly misses these golden moments.

Is a frying pan sexual someone who likes sizzling sex, or, someone who gets over hot on the outside without getting thoroughly done on the inside ? ?

Reading this, think having cataracts might be a God send not a curse !

Leave George where he is ..........I am stark b****k naked laying beneath him ?????????????

lemon I bring my own mop as otherwise I might catch clap off the seats.

Any idea why Gorgeous George is lying prone on a sofa?
Has Marydoll been here by any chance??

You’ll find the bleach and mop out the back, yes, please do get to the lav cleaning.

Merseybelle you’ll do for us,rough as ye are! ?
No idea what a frying pan sexual is, but we welcome diversity here.

I’m just on my way to The Works to get some sequins to glue on my incontinence pants. Not sure about the shoes. Will try gluing a few on the Crocs my daughter left after her last visit.

Mersey OY YOU works for me. The uniform is anything sparkly , short and PVC. Especially the footwear. Any probs call on doodle or lemon. They are afficionados of the tacky.

Do you provide a uniform ? Also being fryingpan sexual I have to insist on gender neutral terminology being used in my vicinity. I’m usually addressed as IT or OY YOU.

Ahem merseybelle you mentioned having cateracts and floaters which may account for the fact that you have vastly overrated misunderstood the character of the Argy slags rus I am sure you will be very suitable for a lav attendant. Unfortunately, we will not be able to install a ramp but you will be fine. We can just chuck you down the cellar when necessary and Trev and Thor can shove you back up at the end of your shift. You can start on 6 months unpaid probation and if you are any good we will only charge you a nominal fee to stay on. Welcome ?

Am having trouble filling in the application form. My last but one employer said I was the best scrubber he’d ever had but unfortunately I left with repetitive strain injury. I know I can ask him for a reference. I also have to use a rollator for my arthritis so can you accommodate me by building a ramp up and down to the cellar. And I have cataracts and floaters which obviously can cause difficulties with lavatorial work. I will bring my passport for the interview as I know my immigration status is OK. I returned to Merseyside from the old country (Wigan ) twice recently without trouble at the border. I am looking forward to starting work in a respectable establishment as the last one was full of slags.

Not a problem Mersey. We are a very accommodating gang.

Not sure about George. I feel obliged to tell you I’m fryingpan sexual and expect you to respect my rights. I hope I’m not going to be discriminated against. I had to leave my last job due to problems involving a wok.

Oh no Mersey. they are valued customers. As for the job, apply away. If there are a few of you, you can job share. We share everything else, especially George.

Am I too late to apply for the job of lav attendant as I’ve only just seen the card that was stuck in the local phone box ? I’ve loads of experience and by the way do you know there are two meat wagons full of coppers parked round your back alley ? Could be a raid ?

maddyone the hussy known as carrilion has made off with them . She seemed such a caring and SHARING person.

Cricketers, where are they? I missed them. I was only gone for a couple of days with those delectable firemen to do a bit of childcare for my daughter, it is school holidays you know! Anyway, I’m good at baking too, don’t do rock cakes but do wonderful scones, I normally -- burn -- make sure they’re well enough done, so they’ll be excellent replacement rock cakes.

lemon I don't do cleaning but my raspberry buns are very popular with the local hockey team. Apparently they make excellent hockey pucks. How many should I make ?

See you in six weeks lemon, off with the cricketers for a tour of masseuse work support duties.

Will send postcard xx

Being Scottish I don't do cricket but I certainly wouldn't mind doing the odd cricketer.

Well........those cricketers were fun!
Now they are gone we need to get back into our old routines though, the cleaning rota is pinned up in the kitchen, so is the baking rota ( those rock buns won’t bake themselves y’know.)
We could do with a few new members to help keep this place shipshape ?

He’s also waiting around while the other eleven are playing so he needs entertaining

Sorry for the poor Engo-lingo... meant 'their way' !!!