Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Ok ??????

Discreet message to Doodle and GrannyGravy13 . See you later in the quiet corner of the kitchen.

Doodle it's a deal, meet you at closing time out back......code word......"throuple"??

GG, I’m with you. Let’s pinch him when lemons not looking. We can take him back to yours and take turns in .....looking after him ?

No can do GG13 he is already hard at work in the bar ( what a worker he is!) and Thor and Trev are a bit jealous of him.
I am taking the poor lamb home tonight?for some tlc.

Doodle I found (kidnapped close by my home) Jude, it is definitely my turn to care for him. ⛓⛓⛓???

Same old Aussies....always cheating!
No sandpaper in here please, and we could really use some new balls.

Yes gransal it’s true, Merseybelle and little Paxo will be in our thoughts for a long time.?
She was a bit rough round the edges ( oh all right, all the way through) but brought in the cash, the punters liked her antics.
I think I will nail up a message in Soops kitchen advertising for new staff for the Argy ( you generally get a rough lot in there, so someone may be interested.) There is a tenner in it
( per week) and all the poteen you can drink, what’s not to like?

doodle I spoke to my DH and asked if he wanted his balls rubbed with sandpaper. He perked up at the mention of balls but soon deflated by the thought of sandpaper. Maybe our aussie friends have harder skin. I so miss Mersey and little Paxo

Who wants their balls rubbing with sandpaper? (says Doodle suddenly alert ?) Big Bruce where are you hiding? ?

Absolutely Buffeybee but not even started yet.???

someone been on the Poteen? ?

G'day Lemon yor Aargy Baargy female carillion has helped me send this message. Obvo, tomorrow aftos match with the cricketing pommes is in the soft south, at Lords.

The real agro is at Headingly, hub of the universe, as you tykes say, later next week.

Letting you know, we've seen the advantage they have with you in some calendar they sponsored looking bonza with white roses covering too much of the lady area.
Ms Lemongrove, you have to give us real men a chance. We have photies of the Trueman and Boycott pommes on our dressing room walls, we are proud to consider them honorary convicts.

So equal things up, stick a few pics of us on the walls of The Aargy Baargy and remember, we have tried to help you speak our lingo, even though we've had your masseuse operative carillion's crabby attempt at a phrase book. I mean, what is a Yorkshire curt tarte? She's told us there are plenty in your Aargy.
If there's anyone still doubting our real antegrity, I assure you Ms Lemongrove none of us will rub our balls with sandpaper while at Headingly ever again. Yours ever Big Bruce,

When is the talent contest? Nobody seems to know. I’m all ready with the nipple tassels and diamonte fig leaves. Well I’ll just sit here with a pint of that stuff everybody drinks in here, it’s strong stuff, warms the inner cockles it does. If I wait here with this drink, it must soon be my turn to spend a little time in the cellar with Jude.

Not sure when the bar calls last orders, so will get one for the road now, then must be away home, will try to pop in tomorrow, think the number 9 bus goes past here so I can use my bus pass.
Could do with a part time job to add a few pennies to the pension.

Give it up, we know you’re faking it just to be with Jude.?

Blimey Doodle the grog needs watering down if you have amnesia as well!

Maybelle, they certainly will....they have more hands than an octopus, so watch yerself girl!

Ooh my head hurts. Where am I? Who am I? Why have I been locked up in a cellar? Who are you people? Ooh. What a nice young man. What’s his name? Jude. Oh hello Jude can I have a cup of coffee and a lie down. I seem to have been away with he fairies for a while. What a nice genteel place. I think I’ll stay here for a bit and have a little sleep.?????

Ooh ta nicely, that's quite a lot of babycham in that glass, I may need elp lifting it , how obliging are the bar staff here ?
Will they lend a hand . . .

Pull up a stool Maybelle, you've come to the right place.
We only drink pints in the Argy but Thor will soon rustle up a pint of Babycham for you!

Ello, is there any chance of a small ( well maybe not so small . . .) babycham ? With a cherry on a stick o
if possible ?
Heard good things about the clubs in this area, so hoping I have come along to the right one ?

Can you put me on the Jude rota as well Lemon.
I'm just back from a six months cruise, well more like six months in the engine room with a swarthy seaman I met on the docks last February. I only asked to look at the size of his pistons and next news, there was a load of juddering and we were full steam ahead to Panama.
Nice to be back! Pint of poteen please Thor and a drambuie chaser.

Sorry Lemongrove, no can do! I am very delicate at the moment and I have to avoid any stress.
The very thought of the handsome Jude is enough to raise my BP.

Anyway marydoll ....must say that naughty as you are, we have missed you, there’s a pint of poteen on the bar for you,
And you have been added to the Jude rota ( and the loo cleaning rota.)