Soop' s warm and welcoming kitchen.

Sending love and sympathy morethan. You are doing your very best. Try and take one day at a time. Try and enjoy small happy moments as whole days won't be enjoyable if you see what I mean. Do use us all to moan to. Christmas will come and go quite quickly.xx

Morning all. Dull and grey here again buts lots of twittering from a flock of Great Tits earlier. Last night the owls were particularly vocal and we currently have a hungry red kite circling overhead.

The usual thoughts and hugs for everyone struggling at the moment. It almost seems as if there are too many of us in that category at the moment. Life is harsh for many.

I am going to the garden centre soon to treat myself to a poinsettia to brighten up the hall. Then an urgent dental appointment ? Toothache is a great leveller.

I’ve just left my DiL house. I called in to have a proper heart to heart with DiL but she was in bed. My pregnant granddaughter was there crying her little heart out. She’d heared what her mum said to me yesterday and then sneaked a peak at her mums hospital correspondence and learnt that her mum was at stage 4. She’s so frightened. She’s worried how she’ll cope with her little siblings and I had to be really firm with her saying that they are not her responsibility but her dads. She’s worried he won’t cope but i said I’m afraid with our help he’ll have to step up to the mark. She is not responsible. I don’t even know if I’m saying the right thing, it’s just my gut reaction. She says she can’t share her worries and fears with her mum and her mum won’t talk to her about her feelings. I’ve tried to say it ok to just put her arms around her mum and say simply I love you mum I’m frightened. It’s it’s ok if you both cry. Apart from taking some of the house work and day to day financial burden I just don’t know what else to do.

Morethan there is no more you can do than you are doing already.
I can hear the fear and even panic in your GD’s response, all I can say is what you have said to her already.
With hindsight I fought tooth and nail for Paw to have the right treatment, medication, help, keeping a positive face on - thinking all the while that somehow I was making things better.
Now I still think I could not have behaved otherwise but I wish I had taken more time just to hug and hold him and tell him how much I loved him

Oh morethan, Nothing I can say to take away the hurt and pain your family is going through now. I should imaging your GD is feeling so much emotion whilst looking forward to being a Mum herself whilst also coming to terms with losing her Mum.

Have you or your son spoken to the palliative care team about how DIL is feeling? They really are the experts in this, my experience of losing my Mum last year, who was in denial and did not want to talk about her illness at all, the palliative care team helped our immediate family, and we're so patient with Mum.

Sending hugs and prayers ???

Dear Morethan, I think you said exactly the right thing to your Granddaughter, hugs can always help, you could do no more to support your family at this terribly sad time, I don’t know how your coping, you are a wonderful mum, mum in law and grandma, my thoughts are with you all, I wish I could do something anything to help you, sending my love to you all xxx

Marydoll Ha! I knew that you and that Santa were up to mischief. It's been a mighty long pregnancy.

Panache thank you for your eloquent response to morethan. You have somehow found the very message that us lot wish to convey. These are for you.

*morethan^ Whatever it is that you wish to share with us...please do. You are in need of all the comfort and support that we can offer. You are a marvellous lady. Kind, considerate, caring, hardworking and much more besides.

Welcome Grandmashe43. Please keep visiting the kitchen. The more love there is to share, the better for all those who need it.

ann Your message came from the heart.

Sorry, I meant to type, anno

I am doing my best with the Labrador portrait. It's time that I donned my arty farty hat and continued.

I shall return. A group (((hug))) winging it's way to all our Kitcheners.

Marydoll have your exploits in the Argy come back to haunt you?

Grandmashe welcome. I had a routine appointment with my dentist this morning. Normally, there is no other interaction between us than “open wide”. This morning, however, he sat and asked me how my fishing season had been and we chatted for more than a few minutes! And all the time, I’m thinking “I hope to goodness he isn’t charging me for this!!”. Bill: ‘Extras. One pack of size 8 interdental brushes: £3. Social interaction: priceless!’ I got back DH said “I suppose you were his blue eyed girl again?” because he is always sent off to the hygienist and I never am, although he looks after his teeth far more assiduously than I do!
Off to see how my niece is doing this afternoon. I will take her some of my rather rustic mince pies - they’ll give her a laugh, or indigestion, or both.
I will look in later.

Thank you Soop, I’m a regular lurker, and love the kitchenx

morethan (((hugs))) and to you and yours. Clearly you are caught in the middle of a maelstrom so hang on in there and just carry on spreading love and comfort as you are already doing, just don't forget yourself in the middle of it all and be kind to you as well. In these times nothing matters except love. Thinking of you all.X

Himself and I have been on our travels again to see yet another consultant so have taken time out for recovery. I sm glad to say that I slept really well last night so am feeling more able today. I am sorry to do this to all 'you lot' but I am having a bit of a wail and letting it all out.
The surgeon we saw has recommended amputation of the leg and, needless to say, Himself was floored. Lots to think about and I suppose the bottom line at present is that I just don't know how we will manage. I feel pathetic saying that but I suppose it is factual until we know all the ins and outs of it all. No doubt there will be lots of available helps but when the door closes I know we will be on our own - as we all are. I know we will manage but it has been an extremely difficult two years already. It would have been better if they had amputated straight away. The consultant who took over the case actually said that he wouldn't have even tried to save it given the devastating damage as well as Himself's age and I do think it would have been better if he had woken up after the surgery to find it gone in the very beginning. He would have awoken to a fait accompli and been more able to come to terms with it. Now he is being faced with having to make the decision himself after getting his head round it all. It is a 180° turn about after fighting for two years to recover. Currently we are not living but merely existing and life could be so much better if he was able to walk on a good prosthetic leg. Himself knows that but it is a hugely traumatic thing for him to endure and obviously there can never be any guarantees on outcomes. I am just so exhausted. I wish it was all done and dusted but know that this is going to be at least another couple of years of hospitals and all the etceteras.

Oh Synonymous I am so sorry to hear about your DH. I do not know the whole story or how he came to have a damaged leg but I realise how devastating it must be to be told it would be better to have an amputation. I worry about my DH because he has Diabetes and I am constantly telling him to look after his feet.
Life really sucks sometimes as I too am finding out. Your health can turn on a sixpence and it often comes when we are older and less able to cope.

As with Morethan2 we just have to keep going and do the best we can and hope we can come out the other side. I keep getting flowers from my lovely friends and family and I feel ungrateful but I want to say I am not dead yet. I just want everything to go back to how it was but of course it cannot be!

Sending all of you lots of hugs

I just wish I'd joined this forum last year when my GD's partner had been diagnosed with Lymphoma ( aged 31 ) and with 7 children. All last year was horrendous. He was like a skeleton. Chemo then dialysis for kidney failure.He spent 4 months in hospital and come last Christmas was admitted to hospital for stem-cell procedure which was being done on Christmas Day ! No wonder none of us were normal. We didn't know what to do for the best.
His little " favourite " used to sit on his bed in hospital, colouring her book and had refused to leave after visiting.

It was like one big nightmare and I was willing my mental strength to be passed to my GD to cope. To cut a very long story short he was discharged at the end of January this year and stayed at his father's house in case any of the children were ill and passed it on to his weakened immune system. He then sunk into a deep depression and when the children went to visit at their GP's he used to go through all the procedures to the children and scare them so as a consequence my GD has told him to stay where he is.
Now the 4 oldest are traumatised by all that went on last year that two of them aren't attending school, 3rd one is and the 4th goes to a special school for behavioural problems.

I can't understand how cruel their father was/is after having been near death last year as at one point my GD had been called to the hospital at 1am one morning with staff saying he wasn't going to last. We'd all been beside ourselves for a year !

My GD had said it was like having 8 children to look after.

synonymous that was horrendous news. Do you know where the leg may be amputated? Is it below knee, mid thigh or higher?

morethan I cannot add to what has already been said but love and hugs from this household.

Marydoll I have my suspicions that DH may not be the father! Have you any idea who may be, thinking about that motley collection at Argy Bargy. When is it due?

I went o the local Moorfields today and had my suspicions confirmed by the doctor that if I had to rely on my left eye only I would be using a white stick. There is no treatment- it is not reversible. Sorry to add more woes.

Afterwards I treated myself to a McDonalds instead of sitting down to a plate of kale and spinach.

Plenty of ((((((hugs))))))) all round as you often feel that you're the only one suffering until you read of others.
Sympathy and love to those who are in turmoil.xx

Morethan, I can only add my thoughts and hugs to what others have written.

Synonymous, what an awful situation for you both, I understand why you feel it would have been better done at first.

Ellen, it sounds as though you and family had a very difficult time last year, and continuing.

We often don’t know what’s going on in the lives of others, difficult times are hidden behind smiles. And none of us know what tomorrow will bring. But we must go forward, there’s no going back. I wish for everyone the strength to cope with tomorrow, whatever it brings, and for all who are living through difficult and sad times, I send hugs.

I am lost for words and in tears!
Huge (((hugs))) for everyone and please come to the kitchen as often as you like..

Synonymous I am lost for words. What a terrible shock for both your husband and you. Should your husband's life depend on the amputation of his leg...he will surely decide to accept the consultant's verdict. Prothetics have improved no end and, with good after care and expert physio, your husband may, in time, be gifted a new lease of life.

Ellan Your post brought tears to my eyes. My husband, MacSporran has Lymphoma. Although it is stage four, he has thus far managed without treatment. However, we are well aware that a serious infection would be dangerous. He recently went to the GP for a Shingles vaccine. Doctor contacted his haematologist and she said that he mustn't have it.

Charleyg A gentle arm around your shoulder.

Greyduster The dentist had a captive audience.

Nannytopsy I know when the immaculate concetion took place. Marydoll was at a celebration lunch in Edinburgh. She took a fancy to a man dressed as Father Christmas...she's a sucker for a man in uniform. I did my best to keep a strict eye on her.

Conception...

maddyone Your message is lovely.