Children in pubs

We lived in the Netherlands for a number of years and there families go out together but the children are always well-behaved, as in my experience, were French children. I was shocked when we came back to the UK and went to a restaurant where the children were running around and making noise. I found it very annoying and also dangerous as waiters were carrying around hot food. The parents seemed to ignore the children.

We are a huge blended family when we meet up in a restaurant with many grandchildren, one who is autistic, non verbal but makes a noise. Don't get me wrong, I adore them all but sometimes I am astonished at how some of the children are allowed to get down from the table and leap about. Unfortunately, the worst offender is allowed to do as she pleases and when I say, "no running" I get the evil eye from DIL who doesn't really do boundaries.
Recently we tried to make arrangements where our children were the only ones invited to my DH's Birthday Supper because he hates the indiscipline but it caused such upset from some of the in-laws, it really wasn't worth it. Now we just frequent the chain pubs where all the clientele seem somewhat loud when we are altogether. We frequent the more sedate places when we are alone or with well-behaved children.

I feel it’s parents who do not teach their kids any boundaries that cause the issues. They are truly oblivious to others trying to enjoy a quiet evening meal, I love kids but ...kids should be taught consideration to others.

I don't mind families with young children sitting near to me at lunch times or when having a pub meal at any time but when I go out to a very expensive restaurant for a meal at 8 or 9 O'clock I am not so keen on being seated next to children. I don't mind children if well behaved and sitting nicely at table eating their meal unfortunately some parents allow their children to run around and bumping into the tables, to make rude comments or be very loud.

My grandchildren have been taken to pubs/restaurants since they were tiny but they have never been allowed to run around. The boys are now 10 and 11 and for the past few years as soon as they have chosen their meal it's 'Nanny can we have your pen and paper please' and they will play hangman, noughts and crosses or the joining dots to make squares game, either with each other or with the adults. I think the most difficult is the nearly 2 yr old as she doesn't understand why she has to stay in the highchair, especially if there is a long wait between courses, so peppa pig on someones phone does come into play (very quietly or with ear phones)

I hate ASK and Pizza Express for the very same reasons. Echoey and far far too noisy. Don't even mention TGI Fridays.

I'd rather have children than dogs! I don't like dogs, they scare me. Hubby and I went to a gastro pub in Yorkshire. There were dogs under the tables while we ate. On leaving, the exit was blocked by a crowd of people and their dogs which were stretched out on the floor. None of the owners thought to move the dogs while we stepped over them.

We were in a very nice pub at lunchtime but we happened to look in the wrong way at a couple of children who were dashing round the room banging into tables and annoying other customers.
The woman I took to be the mother shouted across"I suppose your kids are perfect .
You are just a couple of ..............."

Surely it's not the fact that the children are in the pub that's the problem - if it was done in the same way as Europeans do it, ie keep their children as part of the family group, include them in their conversations, and not let them run riot annoying other customers while the parents/carers simply ignore them, then there would be no problem?

In our area all children have to leave most pubs by 9pm which has worked quite well. I really do think that pubs should have an adult only bar, alongside a family friendly room, for those like us that enjoy adult company at the pub.

I do not have a problem with children who know how to behave when out in company and that comes from the parents who guide them in acceptable behaviour.
I took ours to restaurants from being tiny and GC have been brought up the same way. The only stipulation now is that they don't sit next to each other for obvious reasons.

It's absolutely not a place for kids. On rare occasions we went to pub in my childhood, it was to sit in garden with a packet of crisps!
As parents (and now grandparents) we have to balance what WE want to do with how annoying the child is going to be for others. So I avoid adult venues with the g/d; would love to take her on a coach trip but NOT YET as she might grizzle. Cafes in daytime- sure. Pubs at night- not till she's about 12!

Ellan Clear boundaries are essential for children to learn how to behave positively. It is how adults set the boundaries that make a difference. If it is by fear or bullying I believe that is damaging and unhelpful. There is a middle ground in life.

That sounds like a good idea Crystaltips keeps everyone happy.
On a similar theme, if ever I have to live in a residential care home please don't bring young children to improve my quality of life - it won't ?

No way could my GD take her brood to a pub---the place would be cleared out.

gillybob,my granddaughter thought that way too. 7 children later it's like a bear park in her house and it goes over her head but right through mine and ears as well hahahaha. Love them though but I picture my late parents faces,dad with eyes over his glasses and mum with a set stare.
Mind you,that's all my parents had to do for brother and myself to behave.

PECS by displaying " draconian discipline " what do you mean by that ? No discipline at all ? Because discipline in any context is your Army-type " stand to attention ".
I think it's now referred to as crossing boundaries ?

EllanVannin Why would it be PC to have badly behaved children? If by discipline you mean corporal punishment then I for one am pleased that is not the norm. It is perfectly possible to bring children up with good manners & behaviour without resorting to draconian discipline. Being "PC" is an artificial construct & has absolutely nothing to do with raising well behaved or badly behaved children!

My father was quite the disciplinarian. We were seen but not often heard . Would I want that for my grandchildren? No way .

I blame the PC brigade for the way children are allowed to behave. Their attention span is such that it's virtually impossible to sit them down quietly for above half an hour let alone sit quietly while parents are eating and drinking . At one time it was possible when discipline was allowed/permitted. Respect was the norm too when going out anywhere. Sadly when this was " removed " children have grown up in an anti-chastisement society where it's easier to let them do their own thing for peace's sake than to teach them in a proper manner.
The children lose out in the end by either not being allowed in certain establishments or are shunned by certain family members because they can't behave themselves.
I understand these are tough times where mums have to work and are tired out but I can't understand their tolerance with fighting/screaming kids round their ankles when rules could have been set from an early age to give them grounding,confidence and the security that goes hand in hand with discipline.

It is hazardous if children play in the area where waiting staff are moving about.

We have a trendy gastropub near us which has a sign up saying “children welcome but must remain seated”, some parents moaned about this, saying it was un child friendly, but the majority of customers thought it quite reasonable, and it remains really popular.. If you want your kids to run around, take them to the park, not out for lunch,

I feel that the world has very much moved on from a time when many of us that frequent this forum were young or had young children of our own. I can well remember when I was approximately six years old I was running around at a Christmas night party when an uncle grabbed me and said: "children should be seen but not heard".

It is well that we have moved on from those times and children are accepted much more in everyday social life and in that are allowed to express themselves in their growing up childhood dreams and play.

The above stated, parents allowing children to "run riot" in pubs and other social environments can be annoying to others who are present and can be hazardous to the children themselves especially when cutlery and glassware can be present on tables etc.

However, my wife and me have found that going to an independent restaurant rather than a pub when wanting to eat out very much solves the problem of "over-exuberant children" as they are not normally present.

Thankfully we have some excellent restaurants close to where we live and work that seem to attract a more "senior" clientele rather than families, and that has very largely solved the problem for us.

The price difference is not as significant as many believe, and the service is almost inevitably far better than that found in pubs.

Therefore, changing our own habits when eating out has proved beneficial, rather than going to your usual pub and then not enjoying yourself because of rowdy children and parents that seem not to notice their activities are spoiling others enjoyment.

As stated, the world has changed, and in that, we have found that changing our own habits is the only way to encompass that modern environment and still enjoy your own individual life preferences.

We had to smile when at the end of their meal the couple at the next table both bent down under the table.
They emerged with a baby each!
There had been no peep put of them at all.
That wasn’t true for a very loud table of adults at the other side of the room. We live in an area that has a lot of second homes. I wonder why so many of them find their lives so fascinating that they need to share them with us. At full volume.
I’m not keen on either adults or children(or their parents) who don’t know how to behave.

That’s fine if you’re all in the same boat Sodapop