How do you change a man’s behaviour (light hearted- I think??)

Sounds about right Petunia.MY husband never changed a nappy or got up in the night. He has just retired.

The thing is do you still love him ? He's unlikely to change now - unless you decide to leave which might spur him into some realisation. Most men drive us potty at some time, it's just whether you can live with it or not.

I must admit I have a wonderful husband. He cooks, cleans to a fashion, washes up, makes the bed etc. The only thing he can’t, or won’t do is ironing. He tried ironing a pair of trousers once and there were tramlines everywhere, since then he won’t touch any ironing. I wouldn’t change him for the world.

There isn't one! You cant change anyone. We don't have that power.

It's the story of "how many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb"

"None cos the lightbulb has to want to change"

Men don't think and see what we do! I know you said your post was light hearted you think, however ask yourself this?

Would you rather have a clean home or your husband not there? I say this because my husband passed away in March just gone unexpectedly. He was pretty good round the house though. One day one of you will go first (it's usually the man) It isnt worth the arguments

I had to reach this conclusion over someone else in our household (Our 2nd son who is still at home) He has the illness of bipolar. He can be extremely messy in his room.

I learnt it wasn't worth the aggro! Did i want my son where I knew he was ok and could get help when he wasn't, or did I want to clean bedroom?" The answer is obvious! So I have learnt to ignore it

I think you are very lucky !! He seems to contribute quite a lot !

Not sure if this is any help - but regarding the teaspoons/drips etc when making cups of tea/coffee ................. I keep everything for making hot drinks on a tray next to the kettle. There's a mug with some clean teaspoons in it (the odds 'n' ends ones, NOT the matching ones); there's a small ceramic dish (once held pate) that is where we place used teabags (eliminates the placing in binbag with the ensuing drips) and there's a sugar bowl. All this leaves plenty of space for a couple of mugs to make the drinks in. It works really well for me - I don't mind emptying the teabags a couple of times a day, when I make a coffee - and we no longer get that yukky trail of splashed tea marks all the way to the bin.

My daughter was so impressed that she also does this now (mind you, she took one of my trays to do it with!) - and it also keeps spilled sugar/milk on the tray when her kids 'make a brew' for her.

I cured my lot of not putting washing in the bin, if they didn't put it in the bin it didn't get washed, I simply refused to collect dirty washing from anywhere but the washing bin.

I seem to have struck gold!
Mine got back from a few days away yesterday lunch time, bringing yummy delicacies with him. By the time I’d got back from my girls lunch, he already done his washing and put it on the line.
He does an equal share of housework, but is not very good at ‘corners’!
I couldn’t live with a man who expected me to wait on him and do all the ‘Women’s Work’.

Get a cleaner in....and make him responsible for paying her....worked for me lolxx

Luckygirl
Your OHs threshold (tolerance level) is lower if he takes action before you do.

After having 2 sons and 2 ex husbands, I think it’s inborn in men to just sit back and let women take over ! Yes, we are too capable for our own good, multi tasking and turning our hands to anything and everything. I told one of my grandsons that he made Nanny extra work by not tidying his room, his response “ but I thought ladies liked housework” ? ! You are right, we will never change them, that’s why I’m happily single and would never marry again unless he was a domestic god of course !!

Since my husband retired I have only 2 jobs cooking and washing everything else,and I do mean everything, is done by him. I try to do things and I'm told to sit and rest, and take it easy. Its annoying and frustrating as I feel redundant. I have illnesses but am capable of doing things but I'm not allowed. So be careful what you wish for. It might come true.

Why do women stay with men who expect to have everything done for them. I suggest not doing their clothes for a start. Put them in a bin bag for them to do themselves. If they can't do yours properly why should you do theirs?

Get divorced, stay single, have a partner, live apart.

My DH was captured by aliens when he retired and returned to me house proud and now in charge of all the housework and ironing leaving me with the cooking and kitchen cleaning. I dont know what happened but it did.

Greatview that's very funny

I've had mine for 47 years and don't really think he'll change now. He does put his washing in his wash basket and make his bed, he will wash up if we've had visitors but has no idea how to use the dishwasher or the washing machine. He doesn't cook although when he lived on his own overseas for 18 months he had to learn - fast. He does leave his 'stuff' about such as the pile of paperwork on the table at the side of his sofa as well as on his dressing table, his excuse for this is he no longer has a desk, he leaves his coat on the back of the dining room chair and shoes in the hall - we have places to put both of these. He doesn't 'do' gardening but will cut the grass if I nag ask nicely. But he does work long hours, would go to the ends of the earth for me and the family and I wouldn't change him really!

Love it Greatview made me laugh.
We share the chores and if I am honest my husband generally does more than me. He does offer to help people though and is often busy doing that rather than doing things at home. I see my glass as half full and concentrate on the positives, only occasionally gritting my teeth in exasperation.

I asked by dearly beloved
What am I to you?
He said you are a domestic goddess
Through and through

So I wrote him a list
And he agreed with what it said
The cooking, washing cleaning and a well made bed

I said that this is a partnership
And to this he did agree
Then I asked what he like for that evenings tea
His reply was anything my darling is alright by me

So for the next seven days
Or it might have been eight
I gave him single cornflake
On a tiny plate

On day nine or maybe it was day eleven
I thought I had died
and simply gone to heaven
He took the list and crossed off
The washing, bed and linen

And now we have a partnership
Im over joyed, I am singing
Half a dozen cornflakes
It feels like a new beginning !

Mine came "pr-programmed" (he had been married before lol)

What you're describing sounds familiar....I've been with Him Inddors for 40 years, (38 married), and he only does any tasks if he is asked to - hanging washing out, emptying bins, opening curtains, etc. He, like many men, can't seem to see when something needs to be done.

He works full-time, Mon-Fri, and I work 2 days a week. I was very unwell last week (had to have paramedics here) so he took 3 days' holiday to "look after" me. Those 3 days consisted of him making his own meals (I didn't want anything), doing his own washing-up, and hanging out some washing. He also made me a few drinks during the day, and he fed the cat. That was it.

As soon as I felt a little bit better, I did the hoovering, ironing, polishing, shopping, etc., etc.

My 2 sons (in their 30s) are quite different, thankfully. They have got their own places, and do the housework as well as go out to work.

Is it a generation thing?

me neither Auntieflo he's my life and I wouldn't be without him .

I think that all the aforementioned chaps, have been rolled up together, like leftover pastry, and then mine has been cut out with a chap shaped cutter from the proceeds.
(Actually he's not that bad really). and I wouldn't change him for an upgraded model.

I bet they all leave the lid up as well,

My OH's filth/chaos/rubbish threshold was always much higher than mine, so he would be moved to do something about it long before I would even notice it! He still tries his best, even though he is so poorly, and empties the dishwasher.

I have just employed a cleaner for 2 hours a week to keep the chaos down - we have attendance allowance now so that seemed a good thing to spend some of it on.

I really can't complain about my OH. His standards are higher than mine! He is a bit of a mindless hoarder but it's manageable.
I remember my mother saying after my Dad died how sad she was that everything was always how she had left it. No messy kitchen to tidy.