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Life goes on.

(20 Posts)
annsixty Tue 02-Oct-18 16:10:53

Like many of us, I have been haunted for a couple of days by morethan's very sad family situation.
I have not been sleeping and have logged on in the night for further news from her, she occupies my thoughts for much of the day.
I have just joined in a lighthearted thread and then felt slightly guilty.
Is this a natural reaction?
I am "getting on" in years, I have a fulltime caring role and get very low.
Is this why I feel so deeply, is it wrong to have a bit of fun?

Eilyann70 Tue 02-Oct-18 16:17:03

Not wrong at all! You of all of us deserve 'a bit of fun'! I'm sure, despite her dreadful situation, that morethan would agree.

Jane10 Tue 02-Oct-18 16:17:50

Absolutely not! We all need a bit of fun in our lives. There is a lot of evidence for the value of laughter as a health benefit. (I studied this specifically at one point!) I also found evidence for the efficacy of prayer. So keep praying for Morethan's family but find fun if you can for your own benefit.

Marydoll Tue 02-Oct-18 16:20:33

Anne, I know exactly what you mean. I too have been following Morethan's sad story. It has affected me very deeply, as it it could easily be my family.
This morning after posting on the Good morning thread, I looked at some of the other threads, but felt guilty as I was about to make a flippant remark, so I didn't bother.
Anne, you have such a difficult time and you need to have some sort of relief from your daily life and something to lift your spirits , please don't feel guilty. I'm sure Morethan wouldn't want you to stand back and not post.

Luckygirl Tue 02-Oct-18 16:21:16

Absolutely not from me too!

Life is full of dreadful things that we cannot dwell on - we can offer kindness to those in trouble, but we do not improve their situation by being miserable ourselves. Gosh ann you have so much to endure yourself, so you must grab any fleeting bits of joy with both hands.

If we all dwelt on the misery on the news every day we would cease to function.

Anniebach Tue 02-Oct-18 16:29:04

Annsixty, for many a year I have attended vigils, my prayers and thoughts through these are solely for the reason the vigil Is being held. I cannot and no not dwell on it 24 hours a day, I have to get on with things, I throw up an arrow prayer if the thought comes to me during the day. . A thought such as ‘thinking of you ‘if you don’t pray .

What matters is you care , you posting on a light hearted thread cannot harm, feeling guilty for doing it can only harm you x

farview Tue 02-Oct-18 16:38:36

Anne..NO don't feel guilty..I know a little of your situation and you have to have good times also, bless you Anne flowers

cornergran Tue 02-Oct-18 17:04:29

Can I join in with the reassurances ann? Of course there must be light moments, they are ghe fuel to get us through the heavy times.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 02-Oct-18 17:04:59

Even in the darkest hour, the human spirit needs to be lifted.

If we find a way to take our minds of off the sad things in our life, there is no need to feel guilty.

Ann you have a lot to cope with no one would deny you anything to lighten your load in any way. ???

SueDonim Tue 02-Oct-18 17:21:29

I too have been following Morethan's thread and it is heartbreaking. I think Grannygravy's first sentence says it all, though. We cannot live in perpetual gloom.

I'm also still in shock from the sudden death in an appalling manner of a close friend, just a month ago. I've been with a mutual friend today. We spoke a lot about her but also chuckled at some of our memories. I know she would be very cross if she thought she was the cause of sadness to us. She would be the first to say that life goes on.

Squiffy Tue 02-Oct-18 17:25:54

ann enjoy any glimpse of lightheartedness that you can find. You need some light relief. morethan and all the others on here, who are currently going through difficult times, wouldn't begrudge you that for a single second.

lemongrove Tue 02-Oct-18 17:34:45

I agree with others ( although haven’t read about morethan) which thread is this on?
There needs to be a light side to counteract the darker side of life.

farview Tue 02-Oct-18 17:38:26

Lemongrove..Health...scared she's not coming home x

silverlining48 Tue 02-Oct-18 17:53:14

Ann you have a lot to contend with so get your happy moments where you can. The good news is morethan has better news so we can all relax and be happy for her and her family, I know I am.

lemongrove Tue 02-Oct-18 17:56:45

Thanks farview smile

Greyduster Tue 02-Oct-18 17:58:12

Morethan knows that in our thoughts and prayers, she can count on the continued collective reassurance and support of all on Gransnet who are familiar with the truly awful situation she is in, but she would, I am sure, be dismayed to think that we did not feel, even so, that we could look for a little light in life’s dark corners. Ann ?.

grannyqueenie Tue 02-Oct-18 18:09:09

Like others I’ve been very touched reading about morethan and her family, as marydoll says it could be any of our own. I’m close to a young mum who will have to face this herself at some point so it touches me in that way too.
I might be weird in thinking this....? Sometimes humour and sadness are not as far apart as we imagine, laughter and tears can be close companions as we experience sadness. Please don’t feel guilty for needing a bit of light relief Ann, your own struggles make you so in tune with the sadness others are experiencing- you have a big heart. x

kittylester Tue 02-Oct-18 20:26:49

It's understandable to feel that way Ann but you shouldn't feel guilty.

Agus Tue 02-Oct-18 20:37:56

Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about ann.

IMO there is nothing wrong in finding a bit of light in life to give us a bit of equilibrium to help us cope through the darkest of times.

Jalima1108 Tue 02-Oct-18 20:42:11

I know how you feel annsixty - we've just been away and I did think 'there are people not that far from me, as I enjoy myself, being bombed angry and sad.
I also had to reassure myself that the enormous amount of food left after meal-times at the hotel was not being wasted (and was assured that it was not, it all went to nearby good causes).