Down/up sizing.

Everyone - I really recommend, moving or not, that you do what the Swedish call a Death Clean. I am planning to move and it's taking me ages to sort and get rid of things. It is enormously invigorating (less stuff, less to pack/unpack) but very tiring. Especially if you are one of those people like me who can't bear to waste something that's perfectly good so you end up ebaying/charity shopping a lot of stuff. But when I go there will be so much less for my busy DCs to do.
Meanwhile I'm going to rent for a bit to see if I can live in a city or need a garden ... if I were rich I'd definitely Grand Design myself a new . I also agree with a PP who said it was size matters - better fewer rooms with more space.

Gmelon , yes I think that staying here till the day we really cannot manage is the answer, then perhaps it won't be such a wrench when we really have no option , At present we don't feel ready, and as you say, once it's gone it's gone forever and I think I would always feel sad passing "my house" Thankyou for your advice and every other GN who responded, x

Please excuse the extra line at the bottom. Trying to cook and post - not sensible!!

We have lived here for 25 years and love the house but we recently saw a bungalow with a garden running right down to the river that we thought 'might see us out'. Our children are 47, 45, 43, 37 and 31 so the older ones haven't really lived here apart from for short spells.

We sent them a link to the bungalow and were deluged with messages saying 'don't you dare move' or words to that effect.

We are staying put!

We sent a link

Lilypops.
I think you have your answer .

Once it's gone it's gone forever.

Just to add , I have dreamt a few times that we moved, in my dreams I am sitting outside in tears like you Gmelon , x

Gmelon, Thankyou for that insight in your family home , I understand your feelings, My children (in their 40's)! Say do what you have to do Mum, but I think they love to come home here to were they grew up ,, and would feel strange going to a new home , We have everything to hand here, bus stop ,trains , parks , the beach the Doctors, my local golf club, everything , it's just the house is too big , 5 bedrooms over 3 storeys, I struggle sometimes to get up the stairs when my knees decide to play up, I suppose we will plod on until time says enough, I really appreciate all your comments, Thankyou,

lilypops
My grandparents lived fifty years in their house. All my memories were in that house.
Your family will mourn the house if you move.
I was born in my grandparents house.
My grandad died very suddenly in the living room. My first born came home to that house. My late sister was married from it. Etc etc.
That house was home to us all. Sanctuary.
My grandma stayed until she died age 90. She was able to do the stairs until the last week of her life when she died quickly from pneumonia.

I was all set to buy the house but my husband said we had to keep our boys in their excellent schools. We lived in a very upmarket, safe, Georgian town and he was right although at the time I didn't see it.

However I often was drawn to sit outside in my car floods of tears at the loss.
I even gravitate toward their style of house when moving home and want to recreate their beautiful garden and orchard.

I'm trying to move at the moment but wondering whether to give up and stay put as it is so stressful and has been going on so long.
I looked to move somewhere much smaller but have decided that I would feel claustrophic in a small place and I still have family staying at weekends. My main wish is to be nearer shops, station etc.

Thankyou all for your thoughts on moving , you have all been so helpful,, Mymadeupname,, Youhave a good point in that you say the cost of moving as well as the stress , so maybe staying and possibly getting help in the future like a gardener, help in the house could be an option , This house is over 100 years old , it's seen two world wars, abdication of Edward and Ms Simpson lots of world happenings as well as my three children and their friends coming in to the house, and all being married from here , my GD stay over in "their" bedroom, Folk say you take your memories with you , but mine are firmly planted in this house, I think that one day something will just click and that's when we will move, Thankyou all for all for your input but it's something we will have to face as and when

We moved last year , but just round the corner , to a granny flat in a new build at my DDs house , I was lucky enough to ensure that the rooms are a generous size , I found that more important than the number of rooms . My eldest GS conspires with me and we retrieve bits and pieces from the old house as and when ! so I am very lucky , my very old furniture fits and looks good , just new bedroom stuff . We hardly needed the heating on for ages last year , but I did put it on this week !

Lilypops, my daughter and her husband bought a slightly rundown Edwardian house from the estate of a lady who had lived there with her little daughters since the Second World War, when her husband was away fighting. They were only the second family to live there. Her daughters were sad to see the house sold as it had so many memories, but delighted that my daughter welcomed her first baby there two years after they moved ( they have kept in touch via their next door neighbour.) So the house has a long history as a family home, from its beginning as a home for an Edwardian family. If you can think of your house as a nurturing home for many generations to come you may be able to leave it and start new memories in a new home.

When I tell people what I have on my doorstep ( walking distance) they say No!
Behind me is a big park with adult exercise 'thingys' that you can use.
My dentist, Dr, Optician, hairdresser ( there are 2) chemist, 3 charity shops, co-op, 2 other small supermarkets, Indian takeaway, wool shop, and a cafe all in a 300 meter strip!!
I can walk to an ASDA supermarket. I can walk to a, be it small, a swimming / leisure centre and library.
I can walk to the beach and I'm only 20 min drive from Southend airport.
10 min drive to a station where I can get to London in under an hour.

When we moved, everyone said “are you downsizing?” Well, no, after looking at fairly pokey bungalows and small town houses in the price range we could afford, we ended up going further out to the edge of the city and buying a fairly new four bed detached that was well within our budget, surrounded by lovely countryside but handy for town and shops. Okay, we don’t need all the space, but the house is very well insulated and our heating and water bills are lower than the last house. I can’t see us staying here forever, but I hope that the time when we can’t manage this place is a good way off yet.

Twelve years ago we married, retired and moved to France. There have been some ups and downs and health scares but we have been really happy. We are in a very rural location with no facilities within easy reach. All the things older people are advised not to do.
I'm trying not to worry too much about the future especially Brexit
( sorry to mention the dreaded word )

I downsized when my children left home and it turned out well. Actually, I found the de-cluttering cathartic.

It was a good decision although I admit that, just occasionally, I miss the space I used to have for people when they came to stay.

You can't have everything. On the whole, my life is easier in a smaller place with a smaller garden in a more urban setting.

Lilypops, I feel for you and I'm not sure in your position that it would be right to move now after all that time.

As you are happy where you are with so many happy memories it's worth bearing in mind that just moving costs at least £20,000 so could that money not be mentally put in a pot to meet costs as they might arise, like for a gardener or home help or stairlift if that day ever comes that one might be needed?

Moving is the easy bit. The decluttering before you move is very time consuming (took us years) and then getting your new home organised is another mammoth task that can take another year or more. For everything to become familiar and feel like home, well that takes time too.

Sorry, I don't mean to put you off but that's my experience.

Diana 54 , that sounds just what I would like , a warm easy place to manage., knowing you won't have to move again, I dread the Winter in this house , we have the heating on a lot , whereas a smaller house would hopefully free up some money that is spent on heating as well as being easier to keep clean and maintained, I hope you will always be happy in your new place, it sounds lovely ,

I know that sometime we will have to leave our three storey home that we moved in to a week after we got married 50 years ago, I am in my 70,s and reasonably fit , DH is late 80,s and not so fit, Problem is we are both very attached to this house and it's memories, We brought our three children in to the world in this house, all three got married from this house,

We have got such a lot of stuff we would have to get rid of, We love our garden and hate the thought of another family sitting in it, Neither of us seems able to say,,right lets put it on the market, My worry is how will we manage the upkeep, heating , the stairs when we become really old and infirm, I would like us to look for a smaller place together while we can but with my DH support, he is more reluctant than me to move, I just wish one of us could make this difficult decision and just do it,

Interesting thread. We downsized 3 years ago to a semi in an area we weren't that keen on but which we knew would sell quickly when the right downsize came up. It was 3 years before a 3 bed bungalow in our old area came up (renovation job so reasonably priced) and we were able to go for it as the semi did sell quickly as we'd hoped.

That was just a stepping stone move which enabled us to give up our jobs to do other things. We're both early 60s. Now we're in the throes of renovating the bungalow and it's been a real challenge. We're 60 per cent there (new roof later this week, big hole in the kitchen waiting for a new window (so please no more wind or rain till later next week).

My question is, how long did it take you to settle in to your new homes? I can't wait to unpack and get organised. We've been more or less camping since May and I dream of 'a place for everything and everything in its place'. I won't be happy until I have my things around me and everything is organised. I haven't had a cooker for 4 months and my patience is gone. We're doing most of the work ourselves so it is quite tiring.

I'm glad we're doing it now though, and didn't leave it until we're older. The idea is work hard now (we could still be working full time after all) and it'll all be done by the time we are actually worn out, then hopefully we can relax and enjoy it.

Slightly downsized a few years ago.Probably should have gone for a smaller garden, but we love gardening and planting ( must stop!)
Near all our family, plenty of clubs, buses, things to do.A bit rural but not buried in the country, perfect.

We downsized from a large villa in Spain with five bathrooms and loads of land to a compact 3 bedroom house in the UK with a smallish garden.

Trying to fit everything in that I wanted to keep was a nightmare. The lack of storage is a problem and it has taken some time to settle. However, we are finally getting there.

I do miss the space and privacy though. Also the perfect peace and silence.

I downsized 4 yrs ago from a nice 4 bedroom family house to a lovely little 2 bed bungalow, all my children had flown the nest and sadly DH had died so keeping the big house was not on. Now I've got a warm easy to run place in a quiet area, nice garden, nice neighbours I won't need to move again.

This is fascinating, for some reason.

I'm picturing all your homes.
I like homes.

Old Meg.....whee is this wonderous place? I may join you.