Eating out but not talking.

Of course there are times when phones etc are useful and very helpful as grannygravy and Pecs have pointed out. I love being able to look information up very quickly and show photos.
Below is just one recent article on the subject. And flexible friend I am pretty sure we didn't read books at the table to the extent people use phones etc.

www.verywellfamily.com/negative-effects-of-too-much-cell-phone-use-621152

At the bus stop a young man got on and sat next to his girlfriend. they said hello and she began to chat about their working day. He was really bad tempered and rude to her and swttched on his phone. The phone came on with a huge photo of the girl who was sitting next to him being ignored. Well perhaps he talked to the photo occasionally.

I sat with my Dh & Dd in a busy restaurant for two hours this evening and saw no one constantly on their phone. I think I saw three or four people use their phone briefly, one I suspect to pay their bill.

Thus, it seems not to be a problem in my area - or maybe there was no mobile reception due to the granite walls!

Lemongrove its off topic but yes I agree - we are told that young folk (and I mean generally not all) have less disposable income than ever. As I say its offtopic so not for discussion here. I just didn't want to ignore you.?

Flexible Friend you just sounded so fatalistic about phone obsession, and feeling it didn't matter and wouldn't change things and couldn't be controlled - and there is evidence that it is affecting children's communication skills. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07/05/duty-care-mothers-excessive-use-mobile-phones-driving-behavioural/.

We have all been indoctrinated over recent years not to be judgemental, to understand why people act badly, consider their motives and not expect too much. But I am beginning to come out of that mindset and feel that we should now be more judgemental.

Understanding for those in intolerable circumstances should always be with us, but for the majority like the many parents seen glued to their phones and ignoring their children - and children likewise, we should stop making excuses and say that, once you are a parent, your children are your prime responsibility and if that means you have to adapt your behaviour or put your child's needs first or to nurture them in any way - and talking and communication is nurture - then the parents should do it.

Kids with phones or tablets is a fact of life, my GC don't, when they get together for Birthdays, Christmas etc they are far too busy chatting and playing.

Adults, there is nothing worse than your companions for the evening texting, it means that they are bored and you are second in line to the person on the other end, unless there is a very good reason.

well said Monica

Again well said Monica

Monica I also completely and utterly agree with every word you have posted on this thread!

Lots of horror and some indignation on here about the apparent obsession with overuse of mobiles etc in restaurants. As I have said it is not my experience! Yes I see it..but it is the minority rather than majority in my experience! I fully agree that SOME parents use their phone to the exclusion of noticing children..but I suspect these are parents who would probably always prioritise their interests over their child's. I disagree that it is MOST parents..or most children. I also pick up DGC from 2 schools and only a few people on phones. Majority are chatting to each other.

Why is this thread making some people so angry??

One of the many reasons why we do not have a mobile phone of any description whatsoever. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Are we the only ones left alive in the civilised world who doesn't have one of these awful machines? All very well in an emergency, agreed, but when one overhears "djer wan cauliflower or broccoli fer dinna" then = enough said.
Anyway, what did they all do 20 years ago? Talk together [probably]

Ah well, it should stop people moaning about noisy children in restaurants. Silver linings and all that....

I am not angry. I don't like assumptions based on anecdotal evidence and try to put my experience forward to give another perspective. Just got back from a quick trip to local cafe with DD & DGD2. Of the 14 or so people in the cafe 2 used mobiles whilst I was there. One was me showin DD2 photo of her nephew.

My Grandson is autistic and unable to talk. We use an iPad when we are eating out because otherwise he throws things and shrieks at the top of his voice. He will happily munch his way through his dinner watching the iPad. I have loaded educational games for the one he uses when out with me and he rarely has it at other times. We use it to make other diners’ meal more pleasant rather than for our own convenience. It’s easy to make judgements about why a child is being entertained in this manner (I was guilty of it with my own GS) but you really don’t know the back story.

We had our special annual service in church, this morning, for children who have just started school.
I am in the choir, and 'on the shelf' at the rear of the church, so have an overview of the congregation. I was flabbergasted to see two children spend the entire service glued to their tablets, playing games. The parents didn't seem the least bit embarrassed about it.
Most of the others paid fairly good attention throughout though, sadly, we probably won't see most of them again until they make their first Holy Communion - and then only for a couple of weeks. Our church school is one of the best in the area, so very popular. Unfortunately few of the parents help to support the school financially, and it falls on the regular church attenders.

We have just had an elderly couple (both mid 70s) staying with us. They are friends that we only see once a year. Every breakfast time they spent all the time on their iphones checking the weather, the latest news and catching up with emails!
Evening meals, at home or going out, were fine and full of animated conversation. I think it has become a way of life for many people and I guess they felt 'at home' enough in my house to feel it was ok!
So, because you see a couple or family engrossed on their phones once it doesn't necessarily mean they behave like that all the time.

I think it is happening the world over. But it was good to see how parents tackled it at a restaurant here in Portugal a couple of weeks ago.
Parents with a son and daughter sat at the table next to us. All 4 were on phones but as soon as the first course without a word all the phones were put down on the table face down amd stayed there until they left. The bigger problem here seems to be the TV screens on the walls in restaurants. It's almost as bad as in America.

Turning the thread around. Coming home on the bus, I sat across and behind a young mother and boy toddler. Mum (presumably) sat near the window- child on the aisle seat. I was immediately aware of this ‘interesting’ set up. All the time she was on her mobile, never talked or interacted with this poor child and certainly never put him on her knee to talk to him about the world through the window. I so wanted to scoop him up and hug/talk to him. I was travelling about 4 miles. When I got off the bus, the situation hadn’t changed. ☹️ So sad.

Flexible, I cannot agree with you, In my lifetime and professional work as a teacher I have seen a rapid decrease in schoolchildren's vocabulary and social skills.

The children most badly off in these respects turned out almost always to be children from homes where the family no longer ate a meal together and talked while at the table.

This is by no means only my opinion, practically any teacher, social worker, GP or health visitor will be able to think of examples of this very thing.

Certainly, children will continue to be born with the faculty to learn human speech, but those with parents who do not talk to them will have very limited language skills. It is not the responsibility of nurseries or schools to teach children the various forms of human interaction - these ought to be acquired at home.

That is sad..especially as he could not even see out of the window!
I am like your visitors silverlining as I use my mobile as a newspaper in the morning as DH is reading the real one we have delivered! I think I would do my looking in the bedroom though!

Seen similar in our local Lakeland Plastics cafe, so sad - both the child and the adults are missing so much of childhood that will soon be gone forever

I remember always saying, when we went out for a meal, back in the day when it would definitely have been considered either a treat or part of the courtship ritual, that all the couples sitting in silence were the married ones lol! Wonder how often I was correct. Newly married would have been the exception.

One thing I cannot understand is how these young people walking along the street looking at their phones can actually see anything on them. If I have to look at my phone outside I cannot see anything clearly on the screen (wearing specs).

I hate that too - my daughter and I have come to a compromise when we eat out with DGC. They can have their phones/tablets until the meal arrives then they go away until we are finished. My daughter is actually the worst offender as she will often get her phone back out between courses!