First of all for those following my adventures at home - my boy arrived at the weekend. He is fine but the delivery was lengthy and difficult and eventually emergency section was needed. It was a bit touch and go for me but they managed to stop the bleeding eventually and save the uterus. (I was okay with the hysterectomy if needed although to be fair if needed, there wouldn’t exactly have been an option). We had to stay in most of the week so I could have blood transfusions and other things since I left seven pints on the theatre floor and went into shock 
. Rough affair all round and tbh DH was pretty frightened by the whole thing. Definitely definitely the last baby for us. I had some cardiac trouble that was put down to the blood loss but I am getting that further checked out in a bit.
Thanks to all the grans who sent their best wishes, I needed those in the end!
Feeling really rough but I’m home with my wee ones now and am just trying to rest and take it easy until I can get back on my feet more.
Drama - he arrived very early Sunday morning. Around mid morning MIL told (now I have seen the texts, so I say this advisedly, it was phrased as a statement of fact) DH that she would be coming to the early afternoon visiting. DH explained I was still in the recovery room getting blood and fluids as I was in shock and no one was coming anywhere since I was probably going to the High Dependency Unit rather than the postnatal ward.
She told him that she was coming to the visiting for the baby, not me, and surely if I was in HDU there was still visiting for the newborn?
Yeah, okay, thanks. DH was pretty upset by this time and he said some fairly rough things to her. I was pretty out of it so I wasn’t really aware of this happening until afterwards. I did end up in HDU. No one came up that day because I didn’t want the wee ones to be frightened so I needed my parents to stay with them. I called them on the phone when I was bit more compos mentis.
The next day comes, I ask to go to the postnatal ward if possible because I really want to see my girls as soon as I don’t look too scary. So I get down there in time for afternoon visiting amd see my wee ones and my parents come along. My parents were super upset but putting a face on it. (Mum has actually been... really good the whole time. Dad says she got a big shock and has decided to ‘try harder’. She’s my mum, I’ll take it)
DH is not speaking to his parents ar this point after the events of the previous morning but after the wee ones have a nice visit with me and new brother, I have a talk with him and say I think his mum and dad should come up that night to meet the new boy. I would rather he was there to help with the visit because I’m not allowed out of bed yet and have drips everywhere and a catheter in. Honestly I can’t even reach myself a drink. But I say, the other GPs have been up, let them come and see him.
You guys. The ILs appear and MIL doesn’t speak a word to me. She takes the one chair next to me and folds her arms and glowers at DH.
I ask her nicely if she wants to hold baby, and she rips out “No. I don’t agree with this passing babies around. Put him down.” It’s.... er, his own dad and her son who’s holding baby at this point so I think, welp not getting involved in this one.
I honestly just don’t feel well enough for drama so I just lie there and make a little conversation with FIL who seems embarrassed by the whole affair. Mercifully our brothers turn up with my SIL and I have a normal chat with them. DH offers the brothers and SIL a wee cuddle and they do indeed “pass the baby around”. Baby is cool with this, everyone washed hands when they arrive, this is fine. I open some lovely gifts from bros and chat away.
DH offers FIL a hold of the first and (almost certainly) only grandson. FIL moves his arms to accept before MIL grinds out “NOOOOO” and FIL just folds his arms back down.
The bros and SIL check this out and stampede for the door. If I could move I would also bail, smart move. But I have to keep lying there.
DH gets quite obviously emotional and asks his mum does she really not care about holding her grandson. She looks at him - he’s obviously tearful - and sneers “Too little, too late.”
FIL more or less grabs her and hustles her off the ward.
DH sits crying with me for a while. I feel really bad but all I can really do is hold his hand and try and comfort him.
We’ve not heard from her since and I haven’t brought it up. Neither has DH. I feel like I should try and find out how he’s feeling about this but, urgh, baby and I are barely back in the house. I don’t have the energy for drama at this point.
I will take any advice you might offer on how I should handle this from here.
Congratulations. 
Well done both of you for weathering the storms so rationally. I'm not sure I could have done as well.
Try emailing / texting just you FiL - send a photo. It's up to him what he does with it or if he mentions it at all. He could help heal the rift if you can keep the lines of communication open.
Good luck 
Many congrats. and welcome to your baby boy!
Take this time to have a really good holiday from MIL., until you’re robust enough to deal with her.
Congratulations Muffin. Look after yourself and concentrate on your family. Ignore the MiL. She has a big problem. Let her stew....
How lovely that your new baby boy has arrived - big congratulations!
But oh muffin what a traumatic time you have had 
. How that woman can be so evil unfeeling towards you after all you've been through is completely beyond my comprehension.
You are clearly such a lovely person, suggesting that she visits when you knew it would be an ordeal - there are plenty of women who would head down the NC route for far less! Good for you, she should be shamed by your kindness - surely she must realise she doesn't deserve it? Hmm, no probably not. She sounds like a totally self-centred and self-righteous bitch and not likely to change her nasty ways now.
Please just put her out of your mind for the time being, and concentrate on your little bundle of cuteness - and on getting back to full health. I feel so sorry for your DH, but I'm so pleased to see what a wonderful job he is doing in supporting you. for you and your little family xx
Congratulations and good news that you survived all that and have a beautiful son.
I echo what all the others have said. Your MiL obviously only came to the hospital to make trouble and has succeeded. Your poor DH has really been through the mill worrying about you and the baby and then having his mother attack him. Good for him to have stood up to her - even if he did end up in tears.
He’ll have enough on his plate looking after you and the children so hopefully won’t have time to worry too much about his mother, who is undoubtedly stewing at home. Time to concentrate on getting better yourself and into the new routine with the baby and the girls and being happy. Make the most of her sulking if it keeps her away - but I fear she’ll be back!
Many congratulations on the new arrival, muffin, and I hope you recover well. What a drama it all was! I really admire your philosophical approach to your MIL's nonsense, and I hope that she comes to realise just how daft her behaviour is. She's certainly old enough to know better!
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