Congratulations, Muffin. What everybody else has said! x
Unbelievable What I've Just Read
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First of all for those following my adventures at home - my boy arrived at the weekend. He is fine but the delivery was lengthy and difficult and eventually emergency section was needed. It was a bit touch and go for me but they managed to stop the bleeding eventually and save the uterus. (I was okay with the hysterectomy if needed although to be fair if needed, there wouldn’t exactly have been an option). We had to stay in most of the week so I could have blood transfusions and other things since I left seven pints on the theatre floor and went into shock 
. Rough affair all round and tbh DH was pretty frightened by the whole thing. Definitely definitely the last baby for us. I had some cardiac trouble that was put down to the blood loss but I am getting that further checked out in a bit.
Thanks to all the grans who sent their best wishes, I needed those in the end!
Feeling really rough but I’m home with my wee ones now and am just trying to rest and take it easy until I can get back on my feet more.
Drama - he arrived very early Sunday morning. Around mid morning MIL told (now I have seen the texts, so I say this advisedly, it was phrased as a statement of fact) DH that she would be coming to the early afternoon visiting. DH explained I was still in the recovery room getting blood and fluids as I was in shock and no one was coming anywhere since I was probably going to the High Dependency Unit rather than the postnatal ward.
She told him that she was coming to the visiting for the baby, not me, and surely if I was in HDU there was still visiting for the newborn?
Yeah, okay, thanks. DH was pretty upset by this time and he said some fairly rough things to her. I was pretty out of it so I wasn’t really aware of this happening until afterwards. I did end up in HDU. No one came up that day because I didn’t want the wee ones to be frightened so I needed my parents to stay with them. I called them on the phone when I was bit more compos mentis.
The next day comes, I ask to go to the postnatal ward if possible because I really want to see my girls as soon as I don’t look too scary. So I get down there in time for afternoon visiting amd see my wee ones and my parents come along. My parents were super upset but putting a face on it. (Mum has actually been... really good the whole time. Dad says she got a big shock and has decided to ‘try harder’. She’s my mum, I’ll take it)
DH is not speaking to his parents ar this point after the events of the previous morning but after the wee ones have a nice visit with me and new brother, I have a talk with him and say I think his mum and dad should come up that night to meet the new boy. I would rather he was there to help with the visit because I’m not allowed out of bed yet and have drips everywhere and a catheter in. Honestly I can’t even reach myself a drink. But I say, the other GPs have been up, let them come and see him.
You guys. The ILs appear and MIL doesn’t speak a word to me. She takes the one chair next to me and folds her arms and glowers at DH.
I ask her nicely if she wants to hold baby, and she rips out “No. I don’t agree with this passing babies around. Put him down.” It’s.... er, his own dad and her son who’s holding baby at this point so I think, welp not getting involved in this one.
I honestly just don’t feel well enough for drama so I just lie there and make a little conversation with FIL who seems embarrassed by the whole affair. Mercifully our brothers turn up with my SIL and I have a normal chat with them. DH offers the brothers and SIL a wee cuddle and they do indeed “pass the baby around”. Baby is cool with this, everyone washed hands when they arrive, this is fine. I open some lovely gifts from bros and chat away.
DH offers FIL a hold of the first and (almost certainly) only grandson. FIL moves his arms to accept before MIL grinds out “NOOOOO” and FIL just folds his arms back down.
The bros and SIL check this out and stampede for the door. If I could move I would also bail, smart move. But I have to keep lying there.
DH gets quite obviously emotional and asks his mum does she really not care about holding her grandson. She looks at him - he’s obviously tearful - and sneers “Too little, too late.”
FIL more or less grabs her and hustles her off the ward.
DH sits crying with me for a while. I feel really bad but all I can really do is hold his hand and try and comfort him.
We’ve not heard from her since and I haven’t brought it up. Neither has DH. I feel like I should try and find out how he’s feeling about this but, urgh, baby and I are barely back in the house. I don’t have the energy for drama at this point.
I will take any advice you might offer on how I should handle this from here.
Thanks ladies. Feeling better, on the mend 
Quick update - DH spoke to FIL and they came round this morning. Everyone was polite. Baby was held. I think the whole episode is going to be swept under the carpet which is probably for the best. It is what it is. I need my energy for other things in life. DH needs to be the one who navigates his troubles with his mum.
Seven pints is what I was told afterwards, but in a few weeks I’ll ask for my notes and have a read through. I don’t remember clearly much of what happened and think I would like to make a bit of sense of events for myself. My understanding is as Hooty says: it was going in one place and out the other for a bit. Seems consistent with my lab results but I am not the doctor of the family.
I used to be on mumsnet for a bit but for reasons I mentioned before, I like it here better. Many of the posters have been very kind to me and asked if I would let them know when baby arrived. I’m sorry if this bothers you Gabriella.
Congratulations! Sounds to me like your poor husband was traumatised by the whole experience and could have done with his mothers support - not her selfish behaviour. Who is she to say who should and shouldn't hold YOUR new baby? You have dealt with it all amazingly in the circumstances, but maybe your husband (or hers!) should insist that she apologises to you both before having any further contact with any of you. If she refuses, then it's her loss! Enjoy your family and get well soon.
Many congratulations Muffin, I think I’m right that your little boy is #3?
3 makes a perfect family in my opinion
so just enjoy your lovely DH and children, and concentrate on your own recovery.
Your MiL sounds like a very bitter and troubled woman - try not to waste any more emotional energy on her.
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