worried about dying

I can see where you’re coming from travels. Yesterday I googled a ‘how many more years left” do I have calculation. (Rather pleased, means I should last out the youngest pet which was a worry.). On the other hand we ordered a couple of new sofas only last week. That sounds rather flippant but it is true. I think about death quite a lot lately. I think a lot of that is due to my parents dying relatively young. Always amazes me that people my age have parents still living. (Back to the sofas. They will be the last ones we ever get).

I have just decided to worry about it (death) when it happens. Why worry about something you can do nothing about. Until them it is normal service as usual. I buy and replace things as needed without considering how long I will be round to enjoy them.

I am from a long lived healthy family so at 75, I hope to have a long innings.

I know what you should do, come to terms with it and then move on. However it is easier said than done. I think you have to acknowledge the fact and then make the most of your time. Personally I am still buying/replacing as if 'time is cheap and the night forever young' to quote a song. It is only recently that I have started to feel my age, but it is better than the alternative. I also sometimes think of people I have known who died young and know that it is important to be thankful for the life we do have.

Thanks, Pamela. I'll probably keep these a while yet!

Buffybee I've got a brand new BMW in the drive too and I'm already planning my next car.

My mum is 91yo next month and she still buys things. Most years at the change of seasons she'll buy some new clothes, a pretty blouse, new skirt, new shoes etc. She recently bought a more comfortable chair and is getting a new book case because hers is overflowing. A new microwave is on the cards, too.

Holidays
and new clothes!

Indeed you can’t take it with you. Go on, treat yourself.

ps travelsafar you can't take it with you - but you can spend it on travelling instead!

My friend used to get cross about her mother saying 'This will see me out' if she had a new anything.

My mother loved having new things - when she came to visit one of the first things she would ask was 'what's new in the house?'.
My MIL wouldn't change anything.

But Buffy how old are you?

Thanks for all the wonderful responces tomy OP. There is certainly lots of suggestions for me to think about. It is nice to know that there are others who think like i do though.

I've just bought myself a brand new BMW!
Had a new kitchen fitted.
Decorated throughout.
And new carpets, settees and tv.
So I guess my answer is No!

Suedonim- we inquired recently about recovering our lovely sofas. Much much more than buying new unless we replaced them with something of equal quality. I can’t think how we afforded them years ago.
At the moment, as I’m ‘only’ 65 I’m still thinking I’ll have another 30 years. Not sure if this makes me an optimist or not. Anyway my new teeth (implants) are only going to cost me £200 a year. Hardly anything!!

Think about it this way Travelsafar:

You get enjoyment from buying something that you would really like. It absolutely makes your day, month year etc and brings you much joy.
If, God forbid, something happened to you some time after you bought these things, You will not be worrying about whether or not you should have bought it after the event will you ?
Think about it that way Travelsafar. Life is short, so please enjoy it.?x

very very sadly, my parents refuse to spend anything on basics such as comfortable chairs. Social services now trying to persuade them.

Dont go down this route. Try and be comfortable at least.

I'll look into reupholstering, although when I tried to get a couple of small chairs done a few years ago, there was no one around here. I was really surprised by that.

cherrytree ditto for me too.

Whenever our suite gets 'soggy' we have had it reupholstered. We bought it 45 years ago and have had it done twice. It is starting to 'go' again but, last time we had it done the upholstered suggested that we buy new next time as it is quite deep, front to back, and we will struggle to get out of it before too long.

We need a chair for the 'playroom' and have looked at Snuggle Chairs but they were a bit of a struggle to exit so we might have to be sensible and have an ordinary armchair.

Luckily, we can afford to buy new things as I feel the 'it will see me out' mentality is very aging anyway!

I do know what you mean travels but agree with Day6 a very good post btw and saves me writing it
I used to admire some old neighbours we had, about 87 years old or thereabouts who happily bought new carpets/furniture and booked holidays etc they certainly enjoyed life.

I love doing things in the house.just redecorated and soft furnishing for a spare room.We do these things regularly as I'd rather live somewhere nice than spend money on 2 weeks in the sun.I always feel holidays are a total waste of money .I like my own bed and my family close by .I know I'm odd!

If I die and leave a house full of nice things well it'll look good to sell and the kids will likely be happy to hold onto most of it.They quite often ask,nicely, if I think my sofa or dining suite would look better in thir houses.Often they have it before the years out

My view is that it's not over till it's over, so if you want to enjoy a new sofa travelsafar - be it for five years or twenty years (who knows!) - go ahead and buy it if you can afford it.

We get one life and we also have to learn to love ourselves. I know the "you're worth it" ads are annoying, but should (imo) buy nice things for ourselves, no matter how old we are.

Some don't feel the need, some do. I like to be surrounded by things I love and we have spent quite a lot of money in the last few years on getting the house 'just so' for our retirement.

If you really could put the money to some better use, fair enough. Only you know how happy new furniture will make you travelsafar but you probably will enjoy it. Stop thinking about the years you have left - those thoughts will destroy today and all the days and years (and years and years ahead ) and live in the present. It's all we can do.

I don’t have a fear of dying often wonder in the wee small hours how it will happen will it be quick, painful, slow. I also told my daughter to make sure I am really really dead before they cart me off and to put a charged up phone in my hand ????
I often wonder how many more Christmases or birthdays I have left but no great fear a sort of resigned feeling

I want to keep enough money yo pay for Dignitas if I come to need it so that takes priority over any minor luxuries that I may fancy.

I cringe when people retire and then say 'this will see me out'
Usually men with their cars.

My fear of dying is not being there for my children and grandchildren,
knowing that they will have difficult years ahead regarding health issues.

I have a terrible fear if dying too. It doesn't stop me buying what I want/need though. Just the opposite in fact. I want to spend it before I go!

suedonim when we had our sofas & chair re-upholstered a few years ago, the upholsterer replaced all the stuffing inside the seat cushions.
It felt like new & still does - worth every penny!