Jokes: Some Rude; Never Crude

Got it in one Elegran you are obviously too clever for me

A coffin?

Another riddle:

The man who made it doesn't want it, the man who bought it doesn't need it and the man who needs it doesn't know it.

What is it?

Actually very simple Rufus. Just count the number of letters in the words! Reminds me of the old playground joke : constantinople is a very big word. If you can 't spell it you're the biggest fool in the world. The joke being that 'it' is spelt I T.

Well I'm very slow this morning, have only just worked out Maw's riddle
Polly; Please share it! Nothing will shock me!
I'm even slower and we've had a perfectly shocking day, weatherwise, freezing cold and wet and it's the penultimate day of official Winter. Oh for some warmth!

Oops, forgot the

Duh!

A riddle for a change.
Maw; this is a change of pace, but can this old dodderer ask for an answer, please, from either you or your cheer squad. Hope it's clever.

Well I'm very slow this morning, have only just worked out Maw's riddle!

A 60 year old woman was summoned for a health check. On her return. She told her husband that the Doc had said she still had a waist like a 20 year old and a face like a 40 year old

He asked her

“And what did he say about your saggy 60year old Bum”

“ He said you should make an appointment too”.

Good one! I’ll try that out on GS this morning!

Had to have my first cup of coffee before I worked it out!

Brilliant maw!

Very good Maw!

Oh yes. I like it!

A riddle for a change.

I’m not Scottish but I got the donkey joke straight away. Being from Yorkshire helps!. (Do I get a prize?).

Thanks mcem ?

If at first you don't succeed, bomb de-fusal is not for you.!

5 out of 4 people have problems with fractions.

Rufus.

Scientists say the Universe is made up of

Protons, Neutrons and Electrons.
They forgot to mention Morons!

Just don't know why it's ok to say you aren't Scottish (thankfully!)
mcem; Because they're always going into pubs with a "Welshman" and an "Irishman" and cracking stupid jokes!, whereas I'm an Englishman!

Oh for goodness sake.

Just don't know why it's ok to say you aren't Scottish (thankfully!)
Why did that seem appropriate?

bella
"What do you buy a man with a weak heart? Ans "a wee donkey".
The "translation" only works if it's read as "a weak 'eart"".
But it doesn't work because most Scottish accents wouldn't drop the h!
However the "wee calf" works beautifully.

mcem I cant even find the donkey joke!