Perhaps I just have poor taste....???

Shinyredcar Thu 23-Aug-18 17:52:02
It may sound odd, but I think some older people, particularly, are embarrassed and feel guilty when they receive presents

You may have a point but I hardly think my two oldest friends (i.e.whom I have known since my childhood) count as “older people”! I too turned 70 this year and I certainly don’t think of myself as “older people” !
Now katykrunch as you have loads of flowers may I instead raise a to you as I wish you a Happy Birthday!

Oops - sorry Katykrunch, I almost forgot to wish you a very happy birthday.

Danni, sassenach and Bathsheba, oooo thank you so much for the flowers, wine and bun!!, (nearly sounding ungrateful there lol) now about my cake.......

Happy Birthday Kateyk, hope your day has been thoroughly enjoyable . Oh and of course!

Happy Birthday Katykrunch have a good 'un! x

Happy Birthday kateykrunch!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here are some for you and a glass of xx

I called round to my mother-in-law with a gift of some beautiful peach roses on the day of our family friend's funeral and was thanked by her, with hugs and kisses, as she exclaimed how beautiful the flowers were. Yesterday she telephoned me to say 'thank you' again and described the joy she had from looking at her flowers.

Her phone call was not necessary, but is very typical of my lovely mother-in-law whose manners are impeccable. And I will admit that I enjoyed basking in the warm glow of her appreciation.

It may sound odd, but I think some older people, particularly, are embarrassed and feel guilty when they receive presents.

My dear late mother would always say, 'Thank you, you shouldn't have bothered'. She really didn't want me to spend money on her. I remember how hurt I was when small, saving up for a small box of chocolates for her as a surprise, which she gave straight back to me, saying, 'Here, you have them.' She didn't mean to be unkind, but I have never forgotten how I felt having my carefully planned gift rejected, and it made me even more sure to say thank you properly for any gift ever since.

My MiL would always say "Thankyou but you shouldn't have bothered" After she died I found lots of my presents stuffed away in her drawers, still in their boxes, so obviously I shouldn't have bothered! On the other hand I sent flowers to her sister for her 80th birthday and she was absolutely thrilled and sent me a photo and a lovely thankyou letter.

Sodapop, thank you so much for the wine and flowers, they are truely appreciated xx

That is so thoughtless Buffybee I would not be so generous in future with that lack of appreciation. I would have words with any of my family who didn't thank me for a gift, its only good manners.
I don't think you have poor taste in gifts Maw just in friends. I would be grateful for the kind thought of any friend who bought me a gift.
Happy Birthday Kateykrunch have a and on me

I don’t believe it’s an age related thing ( not showing much gratitude for presents) both younger and older people do it,
Just bad manners.
Send me some flowers Maw I will be very pleased and grateful.Here are some for you....

Its my Birthday today! Wish I had some of the lovely friends described here, I would be really glad to recieve gifts and cards and would thank the sender!, so dump your ungrateful friends, they are obviously too spoilt already AND, send pressies to me please, pretty please lol, thank you in anticipation.....I did mention its my Birthday didn’t I?

I have one set of grandkids who always thank me nicely if I give them things personally, but all things I send aren’t acknowledged until I ask if they ve arrived one staye£ with me over the summer and like I do every year made her up a photo album of the holiday added a couple of envelopes with a few photos in of the others in the family and her favourite sweets It cost over £6 to send ( I don’t mean to get more violin strings going but....) I sent her a WhatsApp saying there’s a little package in the post let me know when it arrives I got an ok and a kiss back Move on a week +, no message so I messaged my daughter has the parcel arrive yet, the answer ‘“yep yesterday”..... that was it
I used to always get my kids to sit down and write a thank you note but out of three only one has kept that going, one does prompt a text and the other always needs reminding

I think there's a link between the rapid rise in the volume of "stuff" we consume, own and discard and the decline in gratitude. Advertising has long been telling us we should have things because we're worth it and they'll make us desirable and more socially acceptable. And we've listened!

If I have only one or two toys I'd be deliriously excited to be given another. If I've got a messy bedroom and lounge with hundreds of them, I'm really not going to feel much gratitude for one more. Or a dozen, if it's my birthday.

If I'm an adult and am given jewellery or perfume or flowers, but I already buy those things regularly for myself, then I might think critically that they aren't my style/image/colour. I think many of us have way too much stuff - which will be added to in a few months at you-know-when!

I've just taken the whole family on holiday abroad. Paid for flights, accommodation, meals out and I'm still waiting for a thank you from DDil and DSgd.
All the rest at some point said thankyou, must be how some people are brought up!
I spend the same on DSgd for birthdays etc. as all the others and have never had a thankyou for anything.

The necklace got a very low key “oh thanks for the necklace, we spent ages wondering how it works”( the lariat style works like a choke chain , you slip the chain through the ring, not the ring at the other end)
And the flowers again just a “thank you for the flowers I will send a pic when they are all out” (didn’t)
I just felt a bit deflated, not expecting effusive thanks, but I did remember !

Did you get any thank you from them though Maw, even if a bit low key?

PS re your OP flowers are always very acceptable ?

Actually Maw you make a valid point. I’m sick of rude, ill-mannered old folk. It’s the little things like letting them go ahead in a doorway, or with their shopping trolley if there’s an obstruction in a supermarket aisle, or when I’ve slowed the car to allow another car into a line of traffic.

Most people say thanks, but of those who don’t it’s 99% the elderly. Grrrrrrr........?

M0nica and others, I am glad I am not alone.
Flowers are always good (we all have too much “stuff” don’t we?) but the bottom line for me has always been to smile, write (or at a pinch email, especially if I am enclosing a picture) and if it is “stuff” I really don’t want, I wait a respectable length of time and it goes to the charity shop.
For two 70 year olds to react like this just made merather sad.

It's sad how good manners seem to have gone out of the window these days and it does take the wind out of your sails when you get a less than enthusiastic response to a present you've spent time and money looking for, what is wrong with people? Even if they're not keen on your choice, a bit of acting wouldn't go amiss rather than them making you feel you wish you hadn't bothered.

I like giving flowers, because they do not add to clutter and have a limited life and I have people are so delighted to receive them that they always say thank you.

We recently celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary with a house party for our nearest and dearest. I have had thank you letters from every person who attended as well as flowers and an invitation to be taken out to dinner (which I know will be honoured)

Oh gosh. It's my nephew's wedding soon. Don't suppose I'll get any acknowledgement of their wedding present by the sound of things.
I find it hard to comprehend though. We were brought up to always be grateful and most certainly thank others for gifts or things done to help. I'm glad to say that my own ACs always acknowledge anything. Even just a casual lunch will be followed by a text to say thanks. I do the same myself.

My daughter gifted us a monthly supply of fresh flowers from Bloom and Wild. It was lovely to have a box of beautiful flowers pop through the letterbox.
As for not saying thank you, I have had no acknowledgment for the last two wedding presents I have given. A general message on Facebook does not do it for me.