Cliquey

I'm thinking out loud here, but would it be helpful to have a 'newbie' emoji that posters new to the site could use at the end of their posts for the first month or so of posting - or in their first however many posts? Perhaps a waving hand?

PamelaJ1
You say say you were 'ignored' on the 'neck' thread.
19 people have commented on that thread. 2 were given a mention. That means that you and 16 others were 'ignored'

Is GN cliquey? Can seem to be, but if you think it is now, you should have been in in the early days! I think you need to be a bit thick skinned. I am frequently ignored, and I think that it is sometimes because my posts are a bit like my fishing rods - long and lightweight - and people can’t be bothered to read them. Why should they? I don’t care for long posts either! But there are some extremely nice folks on here and there are always going to be one or two with whom you build a kind of empathy. I take from GN what I need and what suits me and try and give a little back where I can. I think this is probably the maxim for most. I hope you recover your equilibrium and feel better soon, farview ?.

hillwalker, I'm not town based but live in a large village, so not rural either. I wonder what difference you think that makes? A genuine question - not having a go.

Feeling ignored is not nice, but being hounded or stalked by someone that you’ve disagreed with is worse. Nasty personal comments. I don’t usually mean to offend though I accept I’m a bit sharp sometimes!

I butt out of threads when certain posters enter them.

Twice I know I’ve not understood an “in” joke amongst posters and posted something inappropriate. Once I retreated in embarrassment. ?The second time I was severely reprimanded for something I think I couldn’t have been expected to understand. It was very much a “This is our thread. Piss off.”

WhatI really like about GN is the variety of topics. You never know what the day will bring ?

Thank you Bluebelle I really do exist then!

Henetha??

Must admit I've always slightly felt as if I'm on the outside of some inner circle on GN. But that's life. I've got used to it and just plod on regardless.

hillwalker hello, I don't think we've "met"
I live a rural life nearest small town is 20min drive and city an hour away. To the front of us is the sea and behind is marsh.

winterwhite I have been a member since the very begining. Sometimes I don't understand the "in jokes" and I certainly don't regard myself as part of the 'in group' I enjoy the humour between posters on some threads and feel it enhances rather than spoils the thread.
I joined hoping for a few laughs and I've had more than a few LOL moments.
I think groups that have had a few RL meet ups can come across as just that..... a group. Probably because they have talked about things you would not discuss here and so are more friendly with each other.
Observation, not criticism.

farview x. It isn’t cliquey now . I don’t post as much as I use to because I have very little to say , makes a change ?

Much depends on the topics on threads, I am useless at the games, past caring about Brexit and not going on holiday .

I do know this is the one place where people care .

Sorry you are stressed my love . Sending a Cwtch, you can only get one in Wales ?

We are all good at times at killing threads, Fennel, but not it seems the ones that could do with being killed off and never seen again. They go on for ever.

Fairview I hope all these postings are helping to make you feel a bit better and a bit more included. I dont think I would be allowed in anyone's clique if there was one and I probably wouldnt notice if there was one either. People ignore me in real life. Is it just me who thinks they are having a conversation with someone but its as though you hadn't spoken at all as they go ploughing on with their own theme?
As Groucho Marx is reported to have said ' I wouldn't want to be in any club that would have me as a member'.

Good morning, Farview. I hope you are feeling better today. ? I have to agree with what other posters have said, Old Batty and Maggie, for example. GN is a valuable source of information about all sorts of things and is also hugely entertaining but please don’t take anything personally. Pick the bits that you like and enjoy. ?

Yes, that is the reason that posts get ignored. There are hundreds of conversations all going on at the same time with hundreds of people contributing. There could be a dozen posts on a thread since someone last looked at it an hour ago, and typing a dozen times, "Thank you for your post XXXX, it was so interesting" and "Do you really think so, YYYY?" and "Are you new, XXXX? I don't remember seeing your user name before." could take them so long that there are a dozen more before they get to what they want to say. By then the chat has moved on to another point.

Also it is not obvious that you are new and could do with some encouragement - there are thousands of members, you could just be someone who has been posting for ages on a subject that most people on that thread don't usually read.

I think that as a new member you just have to keep putting in comments on everything you can. If you actually say "I am new to GN, so I've not seen this thread before, but I think . . ." you will be pleasantly surprised at your welcome.

Hoping your problems are soon sorted, farview.
I agree with those who say that maybe on N & P threads there seems to be cliques, especially when it comes to pro and con brexit.
Otherwise not.
And like someone else wrote, at first I often seemed to 'kill' a thread. It doesn't bother me now.

Hope you feel more cheerful soon Farview

Every so often we have this same thread ( just saying) when somebody is feeling down or sensitive.
GN is much better now than it was ( my opinion) simply because we have a lot of new posters and it has become a more open and friendly sort of forum.

I have met (real life ) quite a few lovely GNers and still have monthly meet ups with some of them, so that’s another great aspect of GN.
It helps not to be a sensitive soul on any forum, say what you honestly think but be prepared for disagreements.
There is so much helpful information on here and handy tips etc that I have found very useful.
I really don’t think there are any cliques on here now.

My town is on the edge of the Chilterns I can walk to the woods in under 10 minutes.

I am also new farview but my observations are that most GN’s appear to be town or city based, I haven’t had the feeling that there are many rural posters. I hope to be proved wrong.

And I meant to say I’m sorry you’re going through it at the moment, farview. I hope things improve for you.

It’s a shame that people feel ignored when they post and don’t get an answer. This happens a lot, but there wouldn’t be enough hours in the day to comment on every post you enjoy. You can be sure that others will have read your comment and it’s likely that it will have helped or amused someone, perhaps one of the “lurkers”, who read but don’t post. I’m well used to killing off threads by now!

There are a few main players who seem to run the show and nobody challenges them.

There are loads of really nice, kind people.

Its not real is it, though? and is no substitute for human contact.

Farview, I am a relative newby, people have been kind and welcoming. If you post on the political/news threads remember to put on your tin hat!!!! lol!
Hope you are feeling better in yourself today ?

Sorry- seacliffe not sea life?????!

Sealife, I get the ignored treatment too, it happened the other day on the thread about aging necks. I think it happens to everyone at sometime. If my name isn’t familiar to someone but another’s is then they pick up on the familiar one. I’ve been guilty of that but haven’t meant to.
What irritates me is those people who seem to set themselves up as the guardians of good taste and decency?
They seem to be on here for the express purpose of telling others off.

I know exactly what you mean Farview. (I hope you are feeling brighter now). I sometimes feel the same about GN being clicky but I think that depends on how I am at the time. I have killed off more threads than I can remember. Think that is because I generally have to ponder on something for a while and by the time I dive in everyone else has moved on. Otherwise I sometimes feel I have been ignored and everyone else carries on over me. Some of the GNetters actually know each other, I can understand that. At other times apparently being ignored doesn’t bother me at all.