Memories

I'm like you Wilma. I can remember very little from my childhood or early teenage years. My sister remembers more than I do. And I even struggle to remember old schoolfriends, some of whom remember me. But I can remember snatches of small insignificant events, almost like snapshots. My hubby remembers a lot of his childhood. Yet I generally have a very good memory but he has a terrible one. Very strange.

As regards memories - I only wish I had more photographs of my childhood - there isn't even one a year. There are a few more of my children, but nothing like nowadays when nearly every move of young people is photographed or videoed and admired instantly. Not like my day - take a photo, just the one, of something happening and then wait a year to see how it looked.

One of my earliest memories was being in a rowing boat with my parents in the marina at Weston Super Mare. My father was rowing. He gave my mother the oars and she dropped one. Dad took the remaining oar and we circled whilst he retrieved the lost oar. I must have been about 18months old.

As a forces child, I attended about 12 schools in all. I can recall names of many schoolmates from pretty well all these schools. I am puzzled that I remember more than a schoolfriend with whom I am still in touch who hardly remembers anyone.

Very strange.

I remember a fair bit of my childhood, facts backed up when my family were around and we chatted about the past, however, the memory that always sticks in my mind, is when my brother was born ( at home) .
The midwifes bag had a broken lock, Dad had to fetch his tools to unlock it and when he did my baby brother popped out of the bag!
I’m not sure what went wrong with that memory as I remember it so clearly..........

How much people remember of their childhood varies from person to person, even with siblings.

I remember lots of things, from when I was two and onward, my younger sister remembered nearly nothing and my husband is the same as she was.

As an adult, I have blanks in my memory regarding times when I was unhappy.

Not crying at a funeral is certainly not a sign that you didn't love the person whose funeral it was. Lots of people are still in a state of shock and disbelief over the death at the funeral. Others do not cry, because they just cannot do so in public. Grief can be just as heart-felt and heart-rending even if it is not on public display. I cried very little at my mother's funeral, as I felt my father and sister needed me to be strong - I made up for it at both of their funerals!

I cant remember very much about my school days and this is more obvious when I speak to 3 old school friends and they can remember names, places and teachers names and its all a blur to me. I do wonder if it was because I was bullied at school and never enjoyed school whatsoever

I can remember going with my father to register my little brother's birth when I was two and how happy he was to register him. I remember the office and the furniture. It was a day to remember and remember I have, for about 67 years now.

I am 67 and very much like you Wilma65. I cannot Romberg anything at all below eight and only very traumatic or significant things then fur maybe another 4 or 5 years. I normally have a very good memory for most things that actually matter, like the children and grandchildren’s names, but I do know that my mind deliberately but unconcsiously rubs out unnecessary information so, for example, within six months of leaving any job, I really had absolutely no idea what the people I worked with were called and now, after 2 1/2 years retirement, everything about huw I did my job, which room I worked in and the entire team are completely gone.

I have wonderful memories of my childhood & teenage years. My earliest memory is of climbing on to the roof to find my DF who was whitewashing the chimney stack, think I probably scared the life out of him. My teens in late 60s & early 70s was a brilliant time.

I'm another who doesn't cry at Funerals, not even DH's who I adored, yet I can cry at other things quite easily. I'm like my DM in that respect, we grieve in our own way.

No, not an age thing, for most people anyway. Memories depend upon just how seriously we considered events in the past. Some seem to be forever hard wired into the brain and will always be there ready to be recalled. Others are there but the recall needs a lot of mental effort and time.

Our brains are simply the best of computers. While we sleep the day's events are sifted and least important are discarded while the rest are placed in memory in some form of order of importance. Just how that is done the medics have yet to discover.

I remember some things from my childhood but not a lot
My memories of my secondary school are not great but then I hated it and I think you lock out the things that made you unhappy.
I loved being a teenager in the sixties great time to be a teen and remember lots of parties, dances theatre and holidays.

My earliest memories are from when I was about 2 years old (cutting my feet on some glass on the carpet). I am 51 now - and I remember lots from my childhood and teenage years. My youngest however is 22 years old and cannot remember much from when she was a young child. We recall memories from the past, things she did etc and she doesn't remember them happening. Just the way it is I guess.

1974cookie - It is possible that we block out memories when they are painful and many dont cry at funerals - it doesn't mean they don't care. We all handle grief in our own way.

I have very strong memories of my childhood, so strong they are like movies and I can play incidents in my head. I could probably paint scenes from my life if I was any good at painting. I used to stay with my grandparents all summer and go out with grandad on his delivery round, I can remember it in huge detail. He was a fishmonger and used to fillet the fish for his customers, so the gear stick and steering wheel on his van were silver with fish scales. There was no passenger seat and I used to sit on a box of live crabs!

I have really strong memories of my childhood but when I mention something that happened to my sister she doesn’t remember anything. Almost makes me feel that I’m making it up!?

Yes I do have aphantasia. I can’t visualise things at all. I can’t see things in my ‘minds eye’.
All my family can though. I’m the odd one out

I remember a lot about my childhood, from my brother being born when I was 2 onwards. I have been reminded more than usual of my teenage years recently as my best friend from then has just died - my sons have been having to listen to my reminiscences of our holidays together etc. I never cried at my parents' funerals or my husband's but did cry at this friend's funeral.

Another strange thing about memory is when some tune or perfume suddenly triggers a memory you never knew you had.
This happens quite often to me.
Otherwise big gaps.
Though sometimes if I remember one thing, and keep dwelling on it, a sort of chain forms leading to other parts or those times. Could just be imagination?

I haven't blocked it out as I was grown up but I didn't cry at either of my parents' funerals even though we were very close. I felt sort of blank and detached and wished I could cry. A couple of weeks after my mother's funeral I had a minor argument with DH and burst into tears and couldn't stop for ages. I did tell him it was really about my mum not the row and he did comfort me. But not crying at a funeral is not a sign of not caring!!

I remember quite a few things from my childhood, but there is one thing that I cannot recall, and I wish I could.
My Darling Dad died suddenly when I was 14 years old. I remember that day well, I will never forget it. He meant absolutely everything to me.
However, on the day of Dads funeral, I remember the funeral flowers arriving at our house, I remember the Funeral director. I remember shaking hands with my Dad's boss at the cemetery, I remember some of the journey home.
I just cannot remember Dad's actual funeral. I have tried so hard to remember, but my mind is completely blank.
My older brother ( who turned out to be not a very nice person over the years ) told me shortly after the funeral that I did not care about our Dad because I did not cry at the funeral.
It broke my heart at the time because I did not remember anything and I felt so bad that I did not cry.
Hindsight tells me that I must have been traumatised and that my mind must have blanked out the thing that I could not face.

Gransnetters, have any of you experienced anything like this?
I would love to hear your experiences.

I remember going to the League of Health and Beauty and elocution lessons long before I went to school ( Old Meg, she was a gypsy, and lived upon the moors).
I also seem to remember going to visit a friend of my aunt, and being shown her wedding dress and bridesmaids’ dresses, but my late mother always said she had no recollection of this happening.

Many memories of much love in an extended family , all in the same village. First memory was before age 3, my parents and I lived with my grandfather for three years then we moved two streets away. Playing in his garden , I wet my knickers , blue gingham to match my dress. My first bicycle when I was 7, playing hopscotch in the street , Chapel every Sunday . Staw hat with flowers for summer, brown bowler for winter. We lived 7 doors away from the school,
Seemed everyone’s father and grandfather worked in the pit. It felt so safe .

I think I remember things that were scary or somehow out of ordinary. I have vague memories of being taken to an old lady ('Auntie' Grace)'s home and put to bed in an armchair; my DM told me it was the night she went into labour with my sister so I was almost 3.
We moved about every 3 years due to my DF's job, so I too can date events by what house we lived in at the time.

I have an extremely good early childhood memory.
But not so good from teenage years on.
DH remembers more than I do about our children's ear!y years.

My ear!y memories are from about the age of 2 years old
They are also memories of smells and colours.
I remember the smell of the 1st year
Primary school classroom.

I remember the first time I was introduced at a very young age to my uncle's girlfriend.
I have no recollection of her face but remember distinctly her oranges dress.

Wilma65 do you have aphantasia?
www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-30/aphantasia-why-some-people-cant-see-pictures-in-imagination/9206792

I think young people today will have more meories - I have video footage of my daughter at nursery, and I'm sure watching that will trigger other memories.