Today's silly phone call

I used to live in France, in the middle of nowhere and one day had a visit from the JW, who spoke to me (in French). At the end of their diatribe, during which I could not get a word in sideways, I informed them, totally untruthfully, that I didn't speak French. Their answer was that they had an outwork team in Caen, some 50 miles off, and would send them round...

I had a call last week.
Do you get nuisance phone calls ?
Yes I've got one at the moment.
No, seriously, do you get nuisance calls ?
Yes, I've got one now, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Silence, then click.

The annoying calls are down to just one or two a week now but a few years ago I would get five or six a day. After two or three calls I started asking the caller to hold the line while I transferred them to our fraud department, that cleared the line sharpish.

I had a “have you had an accident in the last two years?” Call. I told her no, I hadn’t, fortunately. She then enquired “are you going to have one?” I had to hang up. I was laughing too much to speak. Must have been getting desperate for a customer.

last time these "people "rang i made out it was my son calling before he could say anything i gave him a shopping list as long as my arm ! he rang off though ,how rude LOL

We just don't answer ANY calls that aren't ID ( on my phone book) ..... the exception being local numbers as might be hospital/ dentists/ doctors. Why these three medico's can't show their numbers is beyond my ken!? They are ALL on our phone book so why 'withhold ' them?? So b_____y annoying. They're not that special. But I did stand at double glazed front door staring out over double glazed front windows the other day trying to explain to a very young man that my generation does NOT 'update' for the sake of updating. We need a good reason to spend our hard earned pensions.

I’ve done something similar cavewoman, I told a call (after a mile expletive) to go away as I was waiting for a call from the hospital - and it was the hospital.

That was back in the days when such things happened. Of course, nowadays our hospital never rings back!

After what seemed like the fiftieth cold call of the day I blew up and told the caller to "p**s off" (Unlike me, but waiting for a call from hospital)
"Sorry" said a small voice "Just letting you know your contact lenses are ready to collect"
I then had to go and face him!

I invariably reply to cold calls as my alter ego, the housekeeper who knows nothing about her boss's activities or arrangements. I once told someone that my employer had gone on holiday. "Oh that's lovely, where to?" so I said he was in Miami. Several weeks later, the same person rang and asked if the boss was back from Miami and had he had a good time...I wondered what on earth he was talking about as of course I'd forgotten this particular piece of fiction!

I've got call screening on now and so don't get bothered any more but one of the last ones I had was from a company offering to help me with making a claim for my recent motoring accident (which I'd never had). I went along with the call for quite a while and when they got to the part where I had to give details of my injuries, I said that, tragically, I'd died. Stunned silence; phone down. I quite miss them now; it was fun thinking up new ways to wind them up.

map, thank you. I've always wondered about this.

I have blacklisted over 50 numbers with BT Call Protect for my elderly father over the last few months. BT have blacklisted over 100 numbers. I answered the phone the other day for him someone telling him his computer had a problem.....what computer I said , my dad does not even have broadband.

Many years ago my DD got a holiday job making cold calls for a 'Home Security' Company. It did not take her long to become suspicious when she considered the 'script'. It included questions such as 'Have you any existing security or alarms?' 'Do you have a dog? 'Is your home often empty in the daytime/evening'? Do you often go away for weekends? What kind of locks do you have on outside doors?

Given that she was working from the phone book, with names and addresses and there did not seem to be any protocol to follow up on the very few people who seemed interested in having security devices fitted, she guessed that she was working for housebreakers and she was 'casing the joint' for them. Couldn't get out of the place fast enough and of course they refused to pay her for the work she had done.

We always told Jehovah's Witnesses we were blood donors (true). They didn't stay long.

Kim, my son and daughter were paid, very little, by the hour (and they didn't actually do many hours in the end as they couldn't stand it!). The idea, as far as I can remember, is that one sale a day per employee is worth all the phone calls. I agree about the scammers, being rude to them is totally acceptable.

minesaprosecco, I'm so glad you came on board with this as you well be able to salve my curiosity. Do people actually make purchases from these cold calls? I find that incredible considering all the scam warnings we are constantly being given and yet I also imagine if there were no results logic suggests that cold calls would disappear. I'm hoping your children enlightened you in general when they did the horrible (in my opinion) job. Presumably they are paid by the hour and not on a commission basis? I've often wondered about this. Makes no sense to me.

I recently had the 'I am phoning about your computer problem', I replied 'no your not, you are trying to scam me, goodbye' and put the phone down! Hopefully my number will have been scored off their list as a 'she is on to us' lol!

I live in a Mobile Home (Park Home) & had a phone call trying to sell my solar panels. I politely explained that as I live in a Park Home we can't have them fitted. His response......"we don't deal with Gypsies"....& he then put the phone down. I was furious at the time but laugh about it now....prejudice from a cold caller

I have no problem with Jehovah's witnesses, when DH was alive I could use the Jewish reason (his DF was an Austrian Jew). Now I have politely requested that they don't call on me as I have no interest in what the have to say (I am a Methodist), I have had no more calls.

When asked by cold callers to give a minute of my time to answer some questions, I say "I'm sorry I don't answer questions over the phone - it's a a waste of my time and yours" often they carry on trying to persuade you to answer their questions, so then I hang up. I did have long conversation with someone who wanted to speak to my husband about an accident he had, when I said he was out she proceeded to discuss it with me, I told her she should not do that, and she asked "don't you share things if you are a couple" - what impertinence!

I`ve had a few calls telling me that my BT phone bill was being quite substantially reduced. I thanked them, saying that it was very generous of them, seeing as I wasn`t with BT. She then asked who my provider was, I said it was none of their business, she then named 4 providers, saying that I must be with one of them which also came under their wing, I again said none of their business and hung up.

I only get nuisance calls on my mobile phone. The landline is part of our Sky package. I can recommend Sky Shield which asks the caller to state their name and you can then take, reject or block the call. For some reason cold callers don’t like to give their name and hang up.

I agree that the cold callers trying to sell something are only doing their job, but, although I’m not rude to them and do as minesaprosecco says, they are phoning me without my asking them to and usually at a most inconvenient time such as mealtimes! They are invading my home - why don’t they stand around in shopping malls, supermarkets etc?

On the other hand, the scammers are doing something completely different, they are trying to steal from vulnerable people and deserve all the time wasting and rudeness they get.

I had a new scam call yesterday. ‘Shirley’ (recorded message) called from my ISP provider to say that my ISP address had been compromised by several different countries but that they would provide a new ISP address and router. All I had to do was press 1 and speak to their technician. I hung up, then reported it to BT, my ISP provider. They asked if the caller had said they were from BT, and as they didn’t, they were unable to investigate. Oh well, I tried!

Tell the religious callers that you are not interested as you are RC or orthodox Jews, both scare even Jehovah's Witnesses away!

If I get a phone call from someone selling something, I say , I have a vacuum cleaner/ fridge here for sale , would you like to buy it,, they soon hang up !

Or you can say "I'm the housekeeper and the Duchess ìs out right now taking tea/lunch or whatever with Her Majesty" !!
There are many ways to have fun with cold callers.....but they have to make a living somehow too.
As long as they're paying taxes and not taking benefits from my taxes.