Today's silly phone call

Good point minesaprosecco it’s somebody’s job after all, drumming up business.
In fact that’s exactly what I say on the phone to them (‘ I’m not interested thanks’ )and then put the phone down.

I got 3 phone calls from whoever they are and my BIL got the same. Wonder if BT know. Wondering if I should ring them.

I had a phone call this morning "you have had an accident", I am crippled with pain and spending most of my time in bed so I told the woman I was bedfast, I could virtually hear her rubbing her hands together and she asked if it was the result of an accident. I stopped talking and she shouting "hello, are you still there ?"

My brother in law loves to wind these people up. Many years ago he agreed to let a salesman come to his house to discuss double glazing. The rep duly arrived, looked at the house (which had brand new d/g) and wanted to know why he was there - he was told "you said you wanted to discuss d/g - you didn't ask whether I needed any".

I had a sticker on my door, supplied by the Metropolitan Police stating that I did not buy or sell at the door, no cold callers etc. The doorbell went one day and there on the step was a young man with the typical case full of dusters, spanner sets etc etc. I was furious - I’d been in the middle of something important. ‘CAN YOU READ?’ I yelled at him pointing to the notice. ‘Do you think if I could read I’d be doing this job? he replied. I gave him a fiver. Not sure why - maybe sympathy, maybe admiration at his chutzpah or maybe just acknowledgement that I’d lost the argument.

Nanny27!

Last time a young man called to dis usz my 'recent accident' I agreed that 'yes I had had a most unfortunate accident but had found some clean pants and trousers and was feeling much better now'.
Embarrassed silence from the other end.

Had a call from Hilarys Blinds, trying to sell me a blind. I said I wasn't interested. He then snapped "maybe you should have thought of that before entering one of our competitions!" I had the feeling he had to call hundreds of entrants that day and had had enough.

We used to get lots, including faxes which would come in after midnight and wake up the household. We have truecall now so that has helped stop the sales calls and nuisance calls. There are also phones you can get with a call blocker and call screening. Basically the calls from family & friends will be put straight through.

This is when living in a foreign country helps, even if you know the language. I just answer in English and the caller starts fumbling around because they don't have an English script and usually reply "sorry" and hang up.

Only time that didn't work was when the Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door, prattering away in Dutch. I said (as always), "I don't speak Dutch," and they replied, in perfect English, "Oh! We have a Watchtower in English too!"

Gah.

I get the calls from Microsoft too...luckily I can reply with all honesty, "Um, I'm on a MAC, dumbass." :p

I know this is a funny thread and I do think all your responses are very inventive, but having had a son and daughter who both had to do cold calling in temp jobs as a means to pay the rent I have a lot of sympathy with anyone who has to do this horrible job! Personally, I don't answer any number I don't recognise (caller ID is a godsend!). My son told me that when he did the job he wasn't allowed to put the phone down or deviate from the script at all, no matter what the person he was calling said. His advice was just to say 'I'm not interested' and put the phone down. Then the cold caller can get on with his or her job, bothering someone else. I do think that stringing them along and allowing them to think they've got a potential sale is a bit mean, although very tempting! But the one who phoned back to say you were rude nannan2 deserved to get a mouthful in return - show him hire rude us oldies can be!

Had a call yesterday from a cold caller about an accident I’d apparently had! I replied that yes unfortunately I had hit someone in the car. She put me through to her supervisor and he asked me what had happened, so I said that some bloke had stepped out in front of my car which was rather stupid of him as I didn’t have a licence or insurance! Needless to say he hung up. But it was quite fun well I enjoyed it anyway

I do like to have a bit of fun too, sometimes I sit in silence and just listen to the cold caller on the phone warble on about double glazing/ PPI/ the accident I had... blah blah...

Once sat so quietly and when the caller finally stopped talking to ask if I was interested I pretended I was asleep and let out a little snore... he was calling and calling, ‘Madam...? Hello?’ and there I was snoring...

He called his workmates ‘oh my god! come and listen to this! This woman has fallen asleep on me!’

Cue his work colleague..’ change your patter mate. You won’t get any sales if you’re boring them to sleep!’

Had to stop myself from laughing as he hung up the phone

Only 2 or 3 people use our landline. Everyone else uses our mobiles so if house phone rings I am expecting a nuisance call.
I never waste any of my time & hang up as soon as I hear a voice-often automated.
We can get really good free stickers from library telling callers that we do not want cold callers & if they do not go immediately the police will be called. Everyone in our road has one & we don't get bothered.
We also have a sign at end of road saying it is a Neighbourhood Watch Area ( it is) & police will be called if we get anyone knocking.
It works very well but it doesn't stop politicians or religious groups. TBH I can cope with them by politely saying we don't discuss these matters with strangers in the street.

I can't speak Welsh, but I do remember a lot of Welsh hymns, and I find a quick (spoken) verse of Calon Lan or similar is great fun.

My mother, when called about her windows problem (she doesn't have a computer) tells them she's thrilled to hear from them, as her husband would like to speak to them. "Speak to him," she says, "He's a policeman, and understands this sor........" CLUNK.

Loving that maddyone!-might give it a try.lol

Maybe its better when they DO stick to a script& not deviate from it......?

There are signs at each end of our road and at nearly every front door stating that we don’t do business with cold callers. One of the neighbours set it up in conjunction with our community police officer. It doesn’t deter some people though and when I pointed out the sign to one person he said he had a living to make!

Enjoyed this thread - some really funny comments. Keep up the good work.

I've tried two approaches, both have some interesting effects, but usually it goes quiet at the other end - here they are:

1.) Caller: "Hello, have you worked in industry, which was noisy?
Me: "How did you get this number, it's on a restricted list, and is constantly monitored"
Caller: silence, and then click..

2.) Caller: "Mr. ?? - we are just ringing to say your computer is throwing up errors, and we need to log in and update the security...."
Me: "Pronto?"
Caller: "You have a problem with your Windows computer"
Me: "Mi dispiace, non capisco, sono in vacanza dall'Italia".
Caller: silence, and then click.

Mind you sometimes the Windows ones are more persistent, so I then use the ... 'just a minute while I get a pen ploy.

My DH , upon taking a nuisance call, always says, 'Oh no, I'm not Mr M, I'm afraid you can't speak to him now, he's in prison!'

I got a call last wk(one in a long list of many that wk)! So exasparated by this 'last straw' i couldnt help blurting out "look im sorry but i really dont need what your offering and i have to go now"&put phone down.The young man ACTUALLY rang me straight back and accused me of being rude! And him doing that he doesnt class as being rude?! Cheeky young tyke! When i said i didnt mean to be but id just like my number taken off their list he retorted that "my doing what id done wasnt going going to get my details taken off was it?"It beggars belief what sort of (if any)training they are given for these jobs doesnt it.?

They work from a script but lack the common sense and knowledge to deviate from it. I get two calls a day from Virgin telling me of the fantastic offer I can get if I upgrade my phone. I have told them repeatedly that I’m not interested, that we changed to Sky so can get a better deal with them and to mark my file with instructions not to call me. They say they will but it’s made no difference so I put their number in my contacts so it shows they are calling and I don’t answer the phone to them any more.

'I'm from BT reach and have to tell you that you broadband will be cut off for 2 weeks because of massive hacking' and so he blurbed on and I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He paused for breath and I said 'Does it matter that I'm not with BT?' Silence ensued. Hallelujah!

Some lovely ones on this thread! Some years back I lived in a village that had no mains gas. I had a call asking if I was interested in gas central heating, as lots of villagers were thrilled with theirs.

I strung him along for ages and the poor boy was getting quite excited at the thought of his imminent commission. When I asked him if they would also supply the gas, he wavered. "Haven't you got gas...?"

"None of us in the village has gas, and very few have got the liquid gas thingies in the garden either."

CLUNK!

It's called doing your research, sonny.

Juliet27 They are very clever. Here in Scotland the foreign accented callers are usual called Mhairi, Rhuridh, or Jamie.