Coffee to go

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I am now scared to add anything to a thread having been metaphorically torn apart when what I have said I felt to be harmless and not at all offensive.
I came hoping to have a chinwag with likeminded older ladies and mistakenly called them sweeties, oh boy boy did I get a dressing down.... Called patronising. I mentioned the colour of a person and was called racist.
For the record I have often mentally wondered why people would choose to waste money on fripperies, but my thought process has then continued on to 'oh well, up to them, their money'. So does that unbidden thought make me judgemental. I also cringe when I hear the f word, inwardly tut when i see someone swigging beer from a can at 10am or blowing smoke near a child. I also nudge my friend and whisper that I don't like an item of clothing on a passer by, so does she. I could go on. But i know i am not a wicked person and should not be made to feel so for whispered asides, unsolicited thoughts or things i personally don't like. Op said nothing nasty or unkind but commented on someone who acts in a different way, we all do it. I would sooner be a little bit judgemental about someone who will never be aware than make a cruel or unkind remark to a fellow gn and spoil their day.

Why does it bother you?

Because people are being unkind, and in some instances downright nasty about or to someone who has said or done nothing wrong. Maybe I am a sensitive little soul but I don't like my head bitten off for an opinion kindly put, nor do i like it done to others.

Well put lollee.

This topic has certainly touched some raw nerves!
I am surprised by the walkaboutcarryingacup culture which seems pervasive.
I'm with the GNetter who suggested we don't need to rehydrate constantly and i think it's not a good example to set our kids.
I believe it's a spin-off from the gyms where everyone must have a drink nearby in case they faint .

My dh absolutely loves his coffee. I prefer tea. A couple of years ago I treated him to a bean to cup machine that makes cafe quality latte and capochino as well as espresso it cost £600 and he buys Costa coffee to go into it but he loves it and has 2 or 3 cups daily. Even though he has this machine at home he also buys 2 cups each week at swimming pool. We all like our little luxuries but we all like different things. Your neighbour likes her coffee other people buy lots of plants for their garden, very pretty and expensive but also not an essential. I suppose we all have disposable income and spend it how it pleases us most. You do sound a bit judgmental of your neighbour.

Quite agree newnanny. I try very hard to not judge other people I know we all have a tendency to do it in a minor or major way but to me it’s an unattractive trait. I may not like a top someone else is wearing for example but it wouldn’t be kind to whisper and it reminds me of the unpleasant school ground behaviour from my youth.
I don’t agree that commenting on a strangers use of their own money is kindly put, why comment at all?
As I said a genuine question as to what pleasure someone may get from take away coffee purchases I could understand, but the comment about it being a waste of money not so.
I don’t spend a fortune on garden plants as gardening doesn’t interest me! But I realise it brings many others pleasure, some people get into collecting figurines or action figures, again not my bag but absolutely their choice.

I'm sure she isn't the only one using the kiosk on a daily basis.

Agree Harrigran or she may have recently given up cigarettes and the caffeine is helping.

It could be her reward for walking her child to school rather than the easy option of using the car.

Me neither lemongrove
I bought an old Gaggia coffee machine on eBay and that delivers exactly what the hoardes cramming Costa, pay upwards of £40 a month for.

newnanny
Cappuccino

I take issue with anyone stating that they're not judgemental. We are, even if unknowingly. The single mum who seems to have what hardworking couples can't afford. The neighbour driving a new car whose house looks run down. A friend who always complains about electricity bills but has expensive clothes and handbags.
Even seeing someone shabbily dressed and unkempt when we're shopping, might make us move away and make assumptions about their mode of living.
I'm guilty of judging people every day but it's a momentary thing.

I am not saying anyone is judgement free I know I struggle with it as much as anyone but for me it’s something o actively check myself to avoid! We rarely know the back story of people we see out and can’t know what they may be battling with. The single mum may be getting parental help which means she has things the couple next door can’t afford! She may be working not all single parents are on benefits!
The neighbour with the new car, maybe it’s a notability car which you can lease if you are on certain disability benefits, or a company car if they are working, a gift from a relative... it’s not always a straightforward thing. Plus your idea of a run down house may not be theirs it’s often a subjective issue.
Someone shabbily dressed and ill kept may have mental health issues, may be they are really living on the breadline and prioritise food over clothing.
The friend with the electric bill may just be grumbling because energy costs are stupidly high
I don’t claim to be non judgemental BUT I genuinely try to examine any uncharitable thought and look at the situation from another perspective. In my work I see daily very disadvantaged people who have no one to help them, often family are just as hard up! One small shock like reduction in hours by their zero hours employer Or a broken washing machine can cause things to spin out of control. They then have to try to budget into an already reduced budget the cost of a trip to the launderette which in my area comes in at at least £8 for a small load These people would then look unkempt to more affluent passers by! And so the cycle continues

Gosh bet you wish you hadn’t started that one Mabon
I thought it was a fairly innocuous thread but some hugely spiteful answers Why ? Can’t we just talk to each other without being so harsh About the original post, of course it’s none of our business but this forum is about talking things over, listening to others opinions and giving your own ideas (which can be different)
My thoughts on the young lady It actually sounds as if she has become addicted to this little habit
Personally I can t imagine buying a coffee a few paces from home I don’t use any of the popular American coffee houses because it seems extremely wasteful to pay so much for something I can drink for free at home,( different if you are sitting down for a rest or the company of others in a coffee shop or for those on a journey) I never feel so in need of a drink that I can’t wait, I don’t like the wasteful ideas of buying a cup every time why would you
I do think it’s a fashion thing which will disappear when the next trend comes along
I don’t like the plastic thing I do think it’s wasteful and extravagant but they are only opinions I m not standing on the street corner with a placard hurling abuse at anyone passing with a cup in their hands
I m sure Mabon was only passing an opinion not passing a judgement
(Aren’t those plastic pods that people buy for home machines adding to the big plastic problem)
Right now you have a different poster to shout at ?

Gosh mabon1, you need to walk on eggshells around here, never pondering a puzzling question, don't you? I agree with you in that I have always wondered the same thing - I am a massive coffee drinker at home but would never drink it walking about - I've never even taken up my free Waitrose coffee in all the years it's been available ?
Each to their own - it's like manicures - I can't understand anyone paying for a manicure but it's plainly very popular (I have beautiful long nails but no-one else is laying a finger on them ?) - everyone can 'waste' their money on whatever they like I guess, it's not judgemental to ponder why people do things imho.

Well, quite a lot of rather judgemental comments on this thread, rather ironic since the the judgemental are judging mabon for her comment. Thankfully, also some non judgemental comments, genuinely answering mabon's query.
I'm another who doesn't really care how people spend their money, I've no idea why the young lady buys a daily coffee except she must enjoy it, and my main concern 're coffee shops is the environment (the non recyclable cups.) I am also unhappy with coffee outlets who fail to pay their taxes, but that's a whole different thread, and nothing to do with this young lady's behaviour.
I hope she enjoys her coffee.

wouldnt be seen dead carrying one of these cups

People carrying plastic bottles will be judged immoral too soon. It seems to be forgotten that plastic bottles can be refilled. Last year I bought one of those packs of six half litre bottles of water. They were to replace the six I'd been refilling for over a decade.

Minibaggs, who only drinks water, has a motley collection of plastic bottles, acquired from friends, that she refills at the bathroom tap at regular intervals.

A friend of mine even re-uses, after sanitising them, plastic bottles she's picked up from the beach.

I guess we are at the extreme end of the plastic bottle using spectrum!

Perhaps she is lonely and the person in the kiosk is the only adult she speaks to all day before her son comes back from school. Or is there a romance in the air? Or it might be that she just likes coffee?

As I stated before, we are all judgemental to a degree and those very people on here accusing the OP of being so are being the exact same to her........only far worse. As for whispering about a person's top etc being playground stuff, I defy anyone on here to say they have NEVER looked at someone and thought or said to a companion, 'I don't like that top, (hat, skirt, bag, hairdo, shoes etc) As long as it is not said out loud no one is hurt by it. I have never been obese but am overweight and a few years ago I passed a group of teen girls who very nastily said out loud 'OMG I would kill myself if I looked like that'. That's life, I ignored it and moved on.

At last some sanity in more recent posts.
A certain money saving site cites not buying coffee to go as one way to save a small fortune through the year, also taking your own packed lunch to work instead of buying. These are certainly sensible ways to save money, not just if you are skint, but if saving for a deposit in a house, so I dont see a problem with raising this issue. It is not being judgemental, it is just a talking point.
Then there’s the environmental issue.
Both are good talking points. What else is GN for?

So, if my opinion differs from someone else’s, to that someone I’m being judgemental?

This lady wants to waste her money paying for an overpriced coffee in a plastised paper cup a few metres from her home. That’s her prerogative. I’m sure there’s a very good reason for her doing so.

However, my opinion on the fashion for needing to carry coffee or drinks everywhere is that it’s daft. I tried it once. It took an age to be served as there was so much faffing around. The coffee scalded my throat and didn’t live up to expectations. I didn’t really have a hand spare to carry it, get to my purse and carry my bags (there’s obviously training needed for this), I had to carry the empty cup for ages before I found a bin, and needed the loo half an hour later. I’ve reverted to making time to call in at a cafe, sit and enjoy my coffee and use their loo before continuing on my merry way.

It is fine to have a different opinion, it is the way it is delivered that is causing problems.

I agree that we are all to a greater or lesser extent judgemental, that’s called having an opinion.
But whether or not we invite others to share it or to validate our judgement is another matter. You may think you “hate” what somebody else is wearing or their course of action, you may share that opinion with a friend, (usually expecting agreement) or you may share it online and invite a wider audience who only have your version, to back you up or agree with you.
They may or may not. Or they may come up with a dozen reasons why they think otherwise
Bottom line is, it is not necessarily our business.
The wider environmental issues or economic (non) sense of spending money on takeaway coffees of course can be discussed without reference to this instance and are very relevant at this time.
We are all entitled to our opinions and we are all entitled to choose to agree or disagree with others.
AIBU?

Well I for one can't stand take away coffee in cardboard/plastic cups and I'm with the OP in wondering why she does it - although of course she has every right and we all like different things. I don't think the OP was being particularly judgemental -just wondering. . Some of the comments to the OP however have been unnecessarily rude and unkind. That's all I have to say.

I don’t think I’ve ever bought from Costa or similar, and was glad of it when my friend opened a coffee shop and told me that it cost him 11p to make each cup!
Mind you, he didn’t have the high rates & staff costs of the big boys, but it’s still a tidy profit.

What a storm in a tea (in this case coffee) cup......