daft sayings

For any disappointment - "Well it's better than a slater up your nose!".....(a woodlouse, I think!)

If anyone was full of the joys of spring, my father-in-law would say 'the black bull hasn't trodden on your toe yet'.

Birmingham here although my mother was from Southern Ireland and she had some unfathomable sayings

All fur coat and no knickers ? as said by maternal grandmother though don’t think it was especially regional? some great examples on here but if people could indicated what part of the country the saying comes from it would be fab ?

I also remember 'Charlie's dead' if your underskirt was showing.

A friend of my parents rather shocked them when he headed for the toilet with the words, "I'm just going to shake hands with a friend of the wife's!"

My mother had any number of cryptic sayings. When you were looking for something lost, she'd say, "You'll never got a thing but where it is!" which didn't really help much.

We heard many of these here in the West Mids when I was growing up. The pig in an entry one was used. Also for a woman who people considered 'haughty' they would say 'and she's no better than she ought to be' If I complained that I had a spot or something, my mother would say 'no man will get down off his horse to look at you'. My granddaughter used to giggle when I said 'well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs'.

Never could understand - when it's over it's over

As black as the ace of spades. For somebody thin: I've seen more fat on a greasy chip. Someone who can't take a drink: one sniff of the barmaid's apron. For chaos or a mess: it's like Casey's Court or Fred Carno's or Stageabank Fair in here.

Hair as straight as a yard of pump water from my West country mum Sadly that applied to me.
Going to point percy at the porcelain one of dads.
When I asked DD's partner to 'put the wood in the 'ole' he had no idea what I meant.

Mum's saying was "as black as the earl of hell's waistcoat".
Love the thought of looking a gift horse up the nose!!

If the sky was dark with rain clouds and it looked thunderey my mum always said 'it's as black as Newgate's Knocker'

I had a totally wonderful aunt (well, they all were) who always mangled sayings. So if someone was a bit iffy about a present that she/he had just be given, she would state loudly, "Don't look a gift horse up the nose!"

To see a man about a dog, when asked where they were going.

When I asked my Uncle what Windmills were for he would say that they were for grinding smoke.

If she jumped in front of a bus would you do it, when I said that my friend was allowed to do something that I wasn’t.

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick...

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride, everytime I wanted something.

Better the devil you know....

I could go on,my mother was full of phrases, usually that meant I wasn’t getting whatever I wanted, some made no sense at all, I spent my life very confused, however, when I speak to my children and Grandchildren, my Mothers voice comes out!

"There and back to see how far it is" - answer when asked where someone is going.

When you were in the way and he couldn't see something my grandfather used to say" let the dog see the rabbit"

My grandad used to say when asked where he was going ‘to see a man about a dog’ and if something not too nice was happening he d say ‘better than a slap across the belly with a wet fish’
I used to always tell the grandkids ‘ hold you’re horses’ if they were going too fast and ‘put the wood in the hole’ to shut the door ‘ are you born in a barn’ if they leave the door open

When my Dad was going somewhere he didn't want us to know about, if asked he would say, "to the back of beyond, where they clog ducks".
When leaving, after visiting my mother she would tell me, "if I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window" .

Well, I'll go to t'foot of our stairs. Put wood in t'oil (shut the door). And my in-laws always used to call backing dancers/singers the Charlies and Arthurs.

Lynne I remember as a child adults saying ‘ he couldn’t stop a pig in a passage’ ( same meaning as yours) for bow legs, something thankfully that you don’t see nowadays.

A nudge is as good as a wink to a blind man.

I used to ask my dad what he was making when he was working in his shed "a gewgaw for a wigwam" would be the reply. He was actually building a steam train.

If I asked my grandad what he was doing he'd say he was going to put a wigwam on a horse's bridle.

If I asked him how old he was, he replied 'Same age as my tongue and six months older than my teeth.'

When finding fault with something we say a blind man on a galloping horse would be pleased to see that

About a person with bow legs - "He/she wouldn't stop a pig in an entry" (Nottingham)

When deciding to spend even a wee bit of money, my granny would say,” To Hell wi’ poverty, put another pea in the soup”.
I’m not sure it was regional though!