I'm losing my job and I feel lost.

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you have difficulty getting potential employers to take your CV seriously.

Have you tried thinning it out, so you only include the experience, skills and jobs that are actually relevant to the job you are applying for? That might help.

My advice to you HotTomales is to get a good solicitor to take along to a meeting with the bosses/HR. I think you would be considered a force to be reckoned with, it would fire a warning shot across their bows and they would probably settle up without much of a fight. These people are obviously bullies and will keep being so unless someone reins them in. My experience with the unions is that they work with the offenders and often don't want jeopardise their own position.

HT Reading your skills it seems you would be a good candidate to train as a paramedic.

HotTamales have you thought of using your excellent managerial and patient handling skills and taking them to customer focussed charities that work with a range of types of people? A manager in a Age UK or an advocacy charity for instance? Or into practice management in the primary care/ GP sector, dealing with managing a surgery all its services and patients?
Or maybe a managerial role at a local council where handling difficult people is something staff deal with day in, day out? In a council customer service department, or in housing advice service?

Good luck.

I went back to College full-time when I turned 40 and took a 2 year business course. Then later, after a long bout of illness, I went back to college at 53 years old and took a 2 year Beauty Therapy course. Both times I was a 'Mature' student but I certainly wasn't the only one. There were quite a few of us and we integrated well with the younger students. Actually, it was really a fun time. Why not have a look at the courses available at your local colleges and see if there is something available that you fancy taking up.
My qualification as a Beauty Therapist is now helping me to be able to volunteer for a charity helping ladies and teenagers deal with the visible side effects of their cancer treatment - and this year we are starting workshops for the men as well! The charity is called Look Good Feel Better and if anyone is associated with the Beauty Industry in any way, they are always looking for volunteers for the workshops, even if you are retired from the Industry. www.lgfb.co.uk. Please have a look at the website if anyone is interested. Thank you and good luck HotTamales for your future plans.

Who said you are ' too old and expensive.?
This is discrimination. What country has this taken place? If in the UK contact CAB for further advice. Elsewhere then I am not aware what others can say or do.
The UK state pension entitlement age has risen but many are still working way over state pension age.

Thanks Emily for the useful link.

It sounds like you would good be at some sort of social work either in that sector or the NHS. You could take some short evening courses or try the Civil Service; I would imagine there is lots of conflict in the housing sector! Could you be a doctor's surgery practice manager or a PA to a business director, especially in a small business where you would be expected to do everything. Lots of small businesses prefer more mature workers with a proven work record who aren't likely to keep going off on maternity leave. The business I work for has people apply for jobs and then get pregnant within months and then want to return part time and it's very disruptive to my line of work which needs a consistent workforce.

Sorry to hear about your predicament at work. all too common it seems. This website may have helpful advice.

www.careershifters.org/

My DD was in a similar position in her early 40s. She was headhunted from Uni by a big finance house as a softwear developer and rapidly rose to become their new softwear expediter and trainer. Then she had the temerity to have two babies in quick succession and was told (off the record) that she would never rise further in the company as she had shown that she was not fully committed. In fact she was demoted! After a few years of this the Company offered voluntary redundancy packages with a lump sum and an offer of money for retraining.

She seized this with both hands, using the training money to complete a certified course to become a Celebrant, meanwhile working part time as an assistant registrar, licenced to perform weddings, and using her computing skills to simplify the registration softwear.

Now as a self employed Celebrant she does 3 or 4 funerals a week and the occasional renewal of vows, babynaming and memorial services. Working from home base, she can accept or turn down services so that she is able to be fully involved in her children's lives. Never been happier as she values being able to help people when their need is great.

Your comment about wishing to be a registrar made me think about DD's career change, particularly as she had just been mediating in an estranged family to decide on funeral arrangements and remarked that her job often involved 'conflict resolution'. Demand for the services of celebrants continues to rise - worth a thought?

lollee The redundancy is supposed to be one weeks full pay for each year worked under 40 and one and a half weeks work for the over 40’s

Mid-40s HotTamales? You are but a babe in arms! Lots of time, perhaps to study or take a job you like rather than one that consumes you. I graduated at 61 and although I was already retired because of disability it gave me a sense of self-worth. The OU is excellent at looking after its students.
Think of the tremendous success you have had launching your children to be independent people - that takes some doing, and you should not feel worthless. Good luck with whatever you choose x

Mid 40s and feeling old?
Wow!
I had just had my 5th child in my mid 40s and now, at 73 with all of them settled and 9 GC plus 3 GGC doing well, I have a new lease of life. I feel good, I'm (fortunately) very healthy and the world is my oyster...so to speak. So much to do, see, taste, enjoy and hopefully for many years to come.
Perhaps the OP could sit down and write a list of things that interest her jobwise and and look to enhance her credentials by getting additional qualifications...floristry? Starting a business from home or, if she can find a gap in the market, start an online business which would cost under £5k. Cooking to order? Think of your strengths and capitalise on them. No-one can get your mojo back except yourself and you need to be excited about new beginnings.
Good luck to all those starting afresh.

Cikada I totally agree the ACAS advice is shockingly bad?

I guessed what you were in your second post as i was the same for 26 years. I am not sure why you handed in your notice when you so obviously need a job, surely it would have been best to let them give you the push and take redundancy pay. It is usually at least a months pay for every year worked. With a lump sum you could have afforded to retrain whilst having a year or so off. Time to recharge and study your options.
At 40 i felt too old to do anything great with my life, felt it even more in my 50s and now I am 64, still fit and healthy, I regret the years I didnot take action. Don't end up like me, putting things off until you really are too old!

Although you have degrees, have you considered other courses?

I did several in my early forties and gained qualifications which led to my career.

Colleges are helpful with mature students, and the courses might lead to something new.

Good luck for the future.

I was made redundant from a job I loved and I was devastated. I was in my mid 50s.

I went to an Agency and signed on for temporary work. It was a lot less money than I was earning as a Branch Manager at a Bank, but I was fortunate to have a substantial redundancy pay out. I really enjoyed the work, which was mainly at Local Authorities who preferred older temps. Then I was offered a job as receptionist at the Agency itself.

My advice would be to not rush into any decisions about your new careeer. If you lack any IT skills then you will need to brush up on them. This was an area in which I was seriously lacking when I was made redundant. I had 6 months Garden leave and used this to improve my skills.

Good luck.

You sound very intelligent and I don’t want to patronise you, however it is worth getting your CV checked out by a non bias professional in your field.
Make sure your Linked In profile is current and perhaps create a “ bio” that can be emailed out to relevant organisations.
My husband found himself in a similar position some years ago and it was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Finally good luck and try to view this as a golden opportunity to change your career for the better!
This link may be of some use;https://appointments.thetimes.co.uk/article/times-top-50-employers-for-women/

HotTamales what a wonderful parent you were (and probably still are). Not all of us have managed to bring up such successful and fulfilled adult children. You should let your deserved pride in this support you and give you good cheer as you navigate through to the next step in your own life

Well, it's possible all a bit late but you should not have resigned All you needed to say that you were not prepared to take a demotion and throw the ball into their court. They would then either have to make you redundant or sign a compromise agreement. You'd still leave but they would have to pay your compensation. Did you contact ACAS before or after you handed in your resignation, if before then they have given you very bad advice. Believe me I have dealt with this sort of scenario several times before.

The cut and run feeling is as old as time BUT you say you feel you are letting DH down as far as the financial side goes, so please make sure you stay and get any redundancy etc you are entitled to. I don't understand all the tribunal side of things but you are getting good advice here - so big breath one thing at a time and again good luck

Take this opportunity with both hands.

Update your CV to restate your career objectives and to summarize your achievements. Show how you have progressed your career to fulfill your goals.

Take every interview as an opportunity to hone your negotiating skills after completing your research on what each prospective company needs to fulfill its mission.

Finally, negotiate well so you have no need to complain about the fabled "pay gap".

Seize every opportunity to be lucky!

Totally appreciate that HotTamales. But remember the process isn’t quick! unless the ACAS pre conciliation reaches a settlement (this is part of the process that everyone follows when a claim is to be lodged, and just means a specialist team of conciliators speak to both sides,not together, obviously to see if agreement can be reached. Often if they think that either party has a rocky case they will say so and that will often encourage an employer to settle without going to Tribunal)
So you will have lots of time to prepare yourself and of course you can withdraw your claim without penalty at any time if it becomes too much.
I am just worried that you will miss your time limit to lodge a claim and later kick yourself? I see this a lot from people in your situation who feel too hurt, stressed and angry at the time but later when it’s settled down feel like tackling it but are then out of time

glamm to supply teach you must have a PGCE, although I have a Masters I don't want to take a PGCE as I don't want to be a teacher.

I have every admiration for social workers but as Greta says I wouldn't want to be one.

Thanks Grey your daughter's situation sounds very much like mine, I'm glad it worked out for her in the end.

Jen thank you, I will consider taking it further though my gut reaction is to just get out as quickly and quietly as I can. As I said upthread, my self-esteem has taken a big battering and for me it's more important to get out with my sanity intact, rather than fighting it.

I would suggest some time out for a while after you leave your job. Maybe do some voluntary work to see if there is something that appeals to you. Don't go into social work - unless you want a) a nervous breakdown and b) are content to be the fall guy for all society's ills.