Coffee? (Not what you think)

I quite agree, icanhtb. Seems to me that today's parents are judgmental and precious beyond belief. One sip of coffee (or anything else for that matter) isn't going to do any harm. Come on, let's get a sense of proportion.

I haven't read the article, or all the comments on here, but can't help wondering why the daughter in law couldn't have said, "I'd rather he didn't have that in future," and the MIL didn't reply, "Sorry, it won't happen again," with DH saying, "Mum wouldn't have meant any harm but I'll ask her to make sure it doesn't happen again if it means that much to you." It all seems to me that everybody has got their knickers into a knot about something that is so small in the scheme of things!

Coffee to a toddler - are you serious!! I’d go mad if someone did that to either of mine when they were young.

How many children are brought up having: a cup of tea, soft drinks, chocolate, ice cream? All of these and many others contain caffeine.
I wonder how many of the anti caffeine brigade check the ingredients of ALL food and drink.
(Not including people with severe allergies who have to be ever mindful of what they eat and drink)

Strikes me that the dil was looking for an inter-generational squabble, why put something so trivial on Mumsnet. Presumably mil now knows not to give dgc any more sips of coffee, end of.

There's more caffeine in most of the soft drinks available to children than there is in coffee so that argument doesn't stand up!

My children are perfectly aware that their children may have food or drink here that they may not get at home and nobody worries about it. It's good for children to taste as many foods and drinks as possible while they're young and a sip of coffee isn't going to hurt!

My three year old GD was begging her mum for coffee. My dil made a weak cup of coffee and gave it to her. GD made such a face when she tasted it. She thought it was horrible and won't ask for coffee again. There is no harm in having a little taste of things.

Did the gran know about the DiL’s feelings about a taste of coffee before it was given? Had the child asked for a taste?

I get the mumsnet OP's objection but it's not clear that granny thought there was any harm in a wee taste (before she knew about her dil's feelings on the subject) and it sounds as if toddler's dad wasn't too bothered either.

Sounds to me like an Outrage Opportunity that OP wanted to make the most of. These OOs are popular I think.

I'm with lemon grove - I look after DGS full time and there are no rules - DD and SIL trust me. I don't think I could abide loads of rules, it's hard enough just keeping up with a toddler - anyway, I feel I have given up enough to provide all this childcare without living in a 'police state' ?
Actually DD lets him taste her tea and he loves it. I drink black coffee so I don't let him taste mine. The mumsnet person as usual is making a big fuss about nothing. In the sixties, my sister (third child) had milky tea in every bottle from quite an early age - she was the healthiest of all of us?

BlueBelle
Nothing wrong with sharing a cup.... but it would no doubt be me that caught something ( colds and coughs) with my DGC.

Thank goodness I don’t get a list of ‘wishes’ from my children regarding my care of their own children. Having brought up several of them safely to adulthood, they know
They can leave things to me.

Please ignore mother should read parents

I agree with the mother on this .
Her rules go.
Personally I would not give a sip of any drink to a toddler. (other than their own water/milk)
Coffee contains caffeine
Would it be ok to give the toddler a sip of coke/Pepsi) which also contains caffeine?
One sip may not be harmful but the toddlers then think it's a game and could start asking whinging to taste other people's drinks.

Oh! Sorry bluebelle

janeainsworth

I believe that bluebell was just responding to Eglantine21's comment of "Sharing a cup! Yuk!"

bluebelle it’s not the sharing of the cup that’s the issue.

Parents have a difficult job dealing with all of the celebrities and 'experts' pushing their child rearing agendas. I really think that they should look at themselves, are they happy, healthy and not suffering from their upbringing? If yes, there's a lot to be learned from grans. knowledge.
The more pernickerty parents have become about feeding children, the more eating disorders have arisen.
I think about my mum, one of 13, living through the depression. Despite the fatty poor quality food they had to eat most of the family lived into good old age as did many more.

So often the case, sadly, Chinesecrested.

Who made the big fuss, DiL or MiL? I'm unclear.

I agree that if the mother doesn't want it MiL should not give it. But if this was the first time, why the fuss?
Surely the best reaction would be to say I'd rather you didn't give child coffee or even Please don't do that again. Now if she offends a second time, that is very different.

Babyccino is just frothed up milk, jenpax.

Not at all. He's just supposed to back mum up, whether he agrees with her or not. Otherwise he's "unsupportive" and to be condemned accordingly

It’s for Mum and Dad to decide what they want their child to be eating / drinking. Coffee might not do them any harm , neither would chocolate, bubble gum, Haribo sweets, Coca Cola, or doughnuts, but if the parents don’t want their tiny child to be eating/ drinking them then the GM should just say fine and not make a huge issue of it. What if they then thought that coffee was a drink for them and grabbed a really hot cup and burnt themselves? Keep hot drinks out of the way and listen to the parents, they might not be right, but in the end it’s their child.

I have never offered DGC any of my coffee although I understand the 2 that are 6 now have babyccino when out some times. As others have said this is up to mum and dad