Was married life what you expected......

I have been married 50 years this year. Would I marry him again? No I wouldn't.

I was 27 when I married. I had always said I would never get married and never have children! My parents had a bad marriage and my DM was very unhappy and unfulfilled. We are still together, amazingly, some 45 years later. Sometimes I wonder how!! For me, it is important for the wife to be able to speak her own mind and not be cowed by the husband. We have activities we do together and some we do individually - seems to work well. Is it what I expected it to be? I don't think I had any preconceptions!!

Well I was married at 25 having been an 'item' with him for 3 years and engaged for one year,but we never lived together before marriage. I had no idea what I was doing and was very lucky that I chose a good'un! Our golden wedding is next year and we still get on pretty well and love each other, though like most people we have our differences and arguments sometimes. My own parents had a long and happy marriage so I had a good role model to follow. He is 'my rock' and I trust him completely. We have many shared interests but also some seperate interests. He does irritate me at times but I know I irritate him too. If we get into an argument now we both back away and avoid saying anything hurtful. We are kind and considerate to each other and I think that is pretty much the most important thing. I wouldn't want or be able to cope with anyone else after all this time.
Sorry about my incoherant ramblings!!

I moved away from family and friends when I married and expected that we would be the most important thing in the world to each other. Sadly I didn’t rate that high in his books!!
Been divorced 20 years now and other than a couple of relationships there hasn’t been anyone special. I have marvellous children and grandchildren so consider myself very lucky.
I do feel a tad envious when I see happy couples my age (60 now!) and sad that it didn’t work out for me.

I married The Wonderful Man with the expectation that we would face difficulties, but that our shared faith, values and commitment would get us through them. I'm delighted to say that I was right and we've now been married for almost thirty two years. We have somehow kept the spark going in a way that although our love has grown and matured there is still an element of wonder about our relationship that I think has to do with overcoming the odds. I love him to pieces and I know that he still feels the same way about me.

We married as students......not a good idea! Funnily enough we were not madly in love but by the time my mother had made the wedding cake and arrangements were being made I felt I couldn't back out.

We had 2 lovely children which is what I always wanted but it soon became apparent that he was not going to be a good father....or perhaps we just had very different ideas about bringing up children. A lot of stress after my dd was born and he turned to drink. We divorced quite amicably. I am very close to both my children and they have an ok relationship with their father.

25 years later, having bought the children up on my own (a few romantic liasons during that time!) I met and really fell in love with my 2nd husband in my late 50s. With 5 children between us, who we both love as dearly as our own, it's been a happy time, loving and supportive, as I hoped a marriage would be.

My first marriage was wrong from Day 1 - I married because I'd had a traumatic experience with another man. My husband promised safety but I shouldn't have married him. We had our children and that gave me my happiness - the marriage limped along for years because the children gave me so much to live for.

I finally left my husband 15 years ago, and soon after I reconnected with an old friend from my teen years. We married 10 years ago and it's been the sort of marriage I always imagined.

So to answer the question - first time no, second time yes.

I got married in 1968. We both worked and then I gave up work in 1971 to have my d and my son came along in 1972.
It was hard because you didn’t really go back to;work to your children started nursery or school and they didn’t start nursery till they were four or four and a half. I got little park time jobs when they started school but offered a job in school as TA which was ideal because of the holidays. My husband and I have had a great life things got better financially and we gave our children a loving home. When our son was murdered we were devastated but we pulled through and supported one another. Marriage isn’t easy but we have survived it, no one knows what it’s like to go through marriage till you experience it. We are now looking forward to our 50th anniversary but sadly our son won’t be there enjoy it with us.

I didn't get married until I was twenty nine, though we lived together first, and we celebrate our Silver Wedding this August,, We have been through some rough times, but we are still here, with two beautiful children, well young adults now, as my son is is twenty three this year and my daughter is nineteen,, I do think that some get married too young, hit a bad spot and instead of trying to work it out, opt for divorce, Marriage is what you make it x

I’ve been married 3 times too kazziecookie

The 1st one ( I was 18) turned out as I new it would . A disaster that lasted a matter of weeks before he ran off with some other sucker .

2nd one wasn’t the love of my life but we had a DD . It may have gone the distance, I don’t know, but he died very young .

3rd marriage to the love of my life . Complete opposites but somehow we fit together perfectly .

I had no expectations about marriage, having not really ever thought I would be married, yet there we were at the grand old ages of 23 (for me) and 24 (for him) strolling down the aisle. My own parents marriage was a war zone and his Dad was an alcoholic who had more of a relationship with the bottle than his own wife, so we were on our own really trying to work it out. Looking back we were impossibly naive and probably thought if we were in love then it would all pan out fine. Love conquers all, just like the movies.

I have been married 3 times and every time I have thought it was for life and that I had found the one. Unfortunately with the first 2 I wasn’t the one for them and they left me for other women.
The first I married at 18 (met at 15) and was divorced by 21 as he ran off with a girl he worked with.
The second time I was 25 we were together 15 years and he is the father of my 2 daughters. My best friend after having an unsuccessful affair with another friends husband decided to move on to mine and take him from me. I was devastated at the time and it made me ill but luckily I managed to move on.
I married my third husband at 43 and we have been married 19 years and are very suited and in love.

My twice married Dh responded to this question with an “Unfortunately, yes!”

Got married because it was expected of us and what all our friends were doing, but in a different era we would have lived together and discovered we had completely different ideas of what we wanted from life. Stuck it for 7 years then he left me for an old friend.

I married at 22 after spending years travelling and being a free spirit. I was pregnant and he was the lad that every girl wanted! After 8 years I divorced him. He was tried to be controlling and had ideas that women stayed at home and did everything in the house. He just took pocket money, as he called it from his wages and the rest was up to me. Drank, smoked and gambled oh yes and was constantly unfaithful. I was then single for ten years with 2 children, it was a struggle but I got by. Became friends with a single man and w3 stayed friends for years before we lived together. Now 27 years on from our marriage, plus a few years living together it’s the happiest I have ever been. We are both equal in the marriage. I still see my ex from time to time as I am still very close to his mum and whenever I see him I know I did the right thing

I was 22. Looking back I realise we were far to young to make such a massive commitment. We were completely besotted with each other. His upbringing was terrible and he had lots of emotional issues. He escaped his home life by joining the army. He was a bit of a drinker and dabbled in soft drugs. My family were really concerned but I was fairly astute even at that age and knew I eventually wanted a family so reassured them I wouldn’t get too serious if he didn’t stop drinking. I didn’t make him stop but as our relationship blossomed he settle down. After a year we married. I remember feeling really nervous before the wedding because I knew I was making a life long commitment. Like most of us life thrown some difficulties our way but we’ve been together for 43 years. I wouldn’t say he’s the most romantic man but he is a good man, good husband and father. He truly believes that I’ve given him the family life he craved. He’s wrong we did together.

Tax advantages clinched it for me.

It wasn't bad at all until he started drinking so much. Now if I had enough money and knew that my daughters were settled I'd divorce him like a shot. Hence, I now play the lottery - you never know

I had my life mapped out, train as a nurse and join the QAs. See the world, a husband did not feature in my plan.
When I was seventeen I met my husband and enjoyed his company but marriage was far from my mind. Move on four years, my training finished we got married.
I had no idea how the marriage would work out, his parents seemed to have a hate/hate relationship, my parents were two people who lived in the same house so not much help.
I was married less than 18 months when we had our first child and I was a stay at home mum that put a strain on our finances and DH had to take a second job to cover the mortgage. We weathered the difficult years and moved house, had a second child. Job relocation meant we had to live apart for sixteen years apart from holidays but we managed fine. We have been married for fifty years and he is still a soppy old romantic.

2 divorces under my belt ! No: 1 was a control freak and after having 3 children I became assertive and rebelled and divorced him. No:2 had his own Co which collapsed in the 90’s. I tried everything to help rebuild our lives, even working 3 jobs .... while he turned to drink, and drank as fast as I earned. He had to go too. There will not be a 3rd ... so no, marriage was def not the respectful partnership I had hoped for in either case.

No expectations other than I expected it to be for life as was my parent's marriage. Loved him and wanted to be with him. The road has sometimes been rocky but I still love him and still want to be with him. Facing the hurdles together made us stronger and appreciate what we have. It will be 46 years this summer since we made our vows so at the moment looking as if my initial expectation will be met.

My parents had a very good, companionable marriage, and I rather naively expected mine to be the same. Although we have been together quite a long time (35 years) I’m often lonely, especially now I'm retired, as he is out pretty much all the time. It isn’t that we don’t get on, we do, (mostly!), he just has a wide circle of male friends he socialises with in various local pubs, day and night. None of their wives ever go, and I have felt a bit awkward on the odd occasion when I have gone with him, so I don’t bother now. We do have odd nights out, but he has such a set routine if I suggest a day out, I invariably get told he can’t go as that’s his day for meeting X.

My mum was born in 1918 and had very old fashioned ideas. She would tell me about girls who were "on the shelf" in their twenties. She was desperate for me to find someone to marry. So, I was married at 20. Luckily it worked out but I was far too young. We are together 45 years now and he's my best friend.

Yes! Perfect! Married 62 years until death us did part Christmas Eve 2 years ago.

Now a widower, a non-playing social member of a local lawn bowls club (can't get down to deliver a bowl, let alone get upright again!), I find myself wondering why some people re-marry.? I have some ideas, but unsure.
As you may know, bowls is the sport with the highest mortality rate for obvious reasons.
Consequently, memberships consist of a high proportion of widows, but very few (I can't remember any) re-marry. As the Professor used to ask; why is this so?
A few shack-up (live-in -sin) as someone said earlier; And before you ask, I'm not in the market for either option.
Now prefer to keep our worldly goods all to myself these days. Too far over the hill and going down the other side now.

Are lady bowlers now too independent and/or emancipated, or whatever.?

Ta-Ra and Good Health

I married to escape the constant friction and bickering between my parents; not because I really loved my husband and that's not the best foundation for a marriage. But we were together for 30 years and we remain the best of friends to this day.