Funerals

I've put in my will that I'd like a green burial and no service, but I've told my DDs it's about what they want, not me. They had said I'll get a proper send off!
I've arranged a few funerals and my mum's most recently. For me, the planning of it was my last opportunity to care for her, remember her and to express my love for her. It brought all our close family together as we planned where to bury her (she died in my home and said she'd like to be buried here as she imaged her GGDs putting flowers on her grave). My DD wrote and read the eulogy, which was beautiful. Personally, I would have hated it if it was planned ahead, but others probably think differently.

Apparently, Grandma70, there is something called "Simple cremation" where the body is taken away straight after death, cremated with no fuss, no family, then the ashes are returned to the family.
That, to me, sounds the easiest and cheapest way to do things. If the family wants a memorial service, a party or whatever, it is up to them to do it when they fancy.
i have told my family that is what i would prefer but, since I would be dead, I don't really have any say. They could do what they wanted...

When my mum knew that she was terminally ill, she insisted on going to the florist to choose the flowers for the coffin,
The look on the florist's face when he realised that it was her own funeral that we were discussing.

Funeral pre-payment plans are just a way to get out money. My husband paid for a pension over 20+ years and didn't even get the money back he'd paid in, so I'm not paying anyone anything, cos look at the stories above, they try to get more out of you. Funeral directors just think we're gullible. I'm going disposal only. On a lighter note when at the funeral directors with mum discussing dads funeral she said very loudly 'I'll have the cheapest please!" they didn't get on!

The fact that they own their own homes doesn't mean they have money.

We own our own home but the money we have coming in each month is just about equal to the money going out. None spare for saving.

OH is older than me by some years and I will certainly have to plan and pay for his funeral. Currently I have no idea how I will do so but will have to worry about it when it happens.

judnoneed It’s what I’ve asked for, too. My SIL’s mother died recently and that’s what they did. The ashes were returned to them, but they could have chosen not to have them. There’s nothing to stop people having a meal out to celebrate a life if they want to.

That's exactly what I have said is to happen when I pop my clogs Grandma70s, my OH didn't believe you could do it when I first said that's the way things were to happen. I have written it in my will and also on a letter. If I don't see people while I'm alive I don't want them sat in some crem when I've gone on.

You don’t have to have a funeral. You can just have a cremation with no fuss. It still costs money, but much less..

nanawind that is so funny.?
My mil had a funeral plan all paid in advance..We still had to go through all the rigmarole at funeral directors and they tried to wriggle more money out of us by saying this that and the other was not included and We remembered it was .We asked for the policy (which they took from us at first meeting about her funeral)
so we could prove it....they also said certain things were at current prices and not the prices when the policy was set up but I can't remember those details now but we argued that one and they said they would let us have things at prices stated on policy as a goodwill gesture. Mil set up the policy about 20+ years before she died aged 97 and I think they rely more on policies being "used" just a few years after they are purchased. Then just 2days before her funeral they were questioning if there was room in the family grave for her or not and asked us to pay for it to be dug up to check when It was going to be dug up to bury her so in effect being paid for twice. They said they were not certain on space and yet they had all the information on their files of who was in the plot and if It was remains of full coffin but we had to find all the very old cemetery paperwork to prove It ,luckily mil had been a hoarder so still had It all.
She passed away in January and buried in March so they had plenty of time to find out this but left It to 2days before her funeral.

It was a nightmare and I will never set up a funeral plan myself.

My mum has arranged her whole funeral, she has even wrote her own eulogy ( I've told her will be rewritten after she's gone). She has even told us where to have her wake. Everything is paid for and money somewhere safe for wake.
Funny story of when she was booking this, she asked the funeral director how many does the car hold he said 7. She said that's good my 3 children and partners can sit in the back and I can sit by the driver. Dealthly silence until I informed her she would have her own car. No she said don't waste money on a 2nd car I don't mind squeezing in. Again I had to explain that she would be in the coffin in the front car. Oh she said I hadn't thought of that. I'm sure the FD thought she had lost the plot especially when she asked if the ashes of her late pets could also go in the coffin. No mention of my late fathers ashes.

I don't like the "pay in advance" for funerals. I have already put the money into an account in one of my son's names and he knows this is for my funeral when the time comes. (I trust him completely not to spend it on anything else!). That way if I have to spend a lot on care fees then this money is safe.

I've told the family I want to be cremated and don't want any fuss, but whatever they do is totally up to them. The money will, I am sure be enough, even in ten years time (and I don't intend going before then), and if they want to do it on the cheap and save some then I will be delighted.

I've planned everything - music, slideshow, a little "farewell speech" from me to them. But I haven't paid for it in advance. I paid for my parent's funerals out of their estates and I guess my children will do the same.

I don't know about the benefits or otherwise of prepaying for funerals but there is no guarantee that there would be any money left if your friends had to pay for care.