Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Washbasin ? Sorry lemon I thought it was a bidet (thought the taps were in a funny place ). Couldn't find any towels so I used the tea cloth, to dry off, is that ok?

Whose idea was it to use that sausage roll as a door stop? I nearly broke my toe on it.

When is marydoll due back the new bar staff? I could do with a ........drink ??

I must brush up my use of the German language, although I do know how to say ja and bitte, in case Hans ( or Hans) ask me anything.
Just popped in for a swift pint of chilled absinthe, can’t stay and help as I have to collect the new towels for our loos here, the Argy even has washbasins! Such luxury.
Can we afford soft loo rolls do you think,or is it back to Izal or newspapers?

Just don’t bring Hans foot and mouth disease - we might catch something nasty ?

All those Hans would be a great help to Jim, who has been struggling a bit lately. I think he has been overdoing it (with Marydoll)

I have news?. Tonight I met (Second) Hans) , he was obsessed with punctuality. Also, I came across (firm) Hans(ooh er. Missus? ) and his Freund (safe) Hans, a bit boring if I'm honest. Along with all Hans to the pump, they have agreed to come and be male escorts bar tenders in the Argy. What do you think?
PS, I would be careful of Grannygravy's green curry. Smacks of something dodgy to me. Isn't penicillin green? We should know, we have seen lots of it in the Argy.

I haven't eaten a sausage roll in about 38 years.
I could be persuaded if it's Good Quality and from Pigs that frolicked outside. S
Granny Gravy - I love banana bread, Thai green curry Wirth a veggie option and the notion of a doctored drink is especially appealing right now.
I do know I'm not in Soop's very lovely kitchen right now but -is it allowed to ask for GrannyG's banana bread recipe?

Yes menopaws I love to cook savoury dishes. Not that great on deserts/baking. My cheesecake is pretty good as is my banana bread. Could rustle up a nice Thai green curry, with veggie option and raid H's wine stock (that would give me great pleasure as he has been a grumpy so and so lately)

Charleygirl if the drinks are doctored I am up for that as I really need to lighten up as my C would say ??????

Eee, it’s hot today, I will have to strip off soon.Fortunately I am wearing a fairly clean vest today.?

Teetime...this is definitely the place to be politically incorrect

Just had a delivery of sausage rolls ( don’t ask where from)
I shall heat them up and they’ll be fine.Please sell them for
60p each as we need to shift them pdq.

We would need a very full swear box and honesty box for that Gill, we’re not made of money here tha knaws.
Only Marydoll has brass in pocket ( she pinches our boxes and would take the till if she could lift it) fortunately she is four feet nothing and about six stone.
She is keen on foreign travel ( and men.)
Still, at least we have a loo seat now, a real step up.

Can we get one of those fancy loos installed? The ones that spray, sanitise and polish afterwards? (Ooh matron). You know the ones, the type which give an alternative meaning to the expression ^ a wash and brush up^........sorry.....too early on the elderflower gin, do you think it counts as one of my five a day?

Poor old Hans Nees and Boompsa Daisy only has one arm, a fat leg and a thin leg.

As for Hans solo he would at least eat all your duff old pies by the look of him. I should know he looks like he could be my twin brother.

Don't bring any sourkrauts back home Marydoll what ever you do.

OK so no Danish pastries I'm guessing not soya chai lattes either. A large G & T please yes its on 8.34 but I am post op and need the nourishment. I'm looking for someone(s) to be politically incorrect with is this the right place?

I quite fancy them Chewy and will clean out the attic rooms for them later today, should they want to stay and help out here, many Hans making light work of getting the cellar in order would be a great thing.
I have ordered all the booze from the brewery, they were glad to see we were still in business and say they would go bust without us lot.
The coffee machine is on the blink, and we need a caterer,
Soop where are you?

Poisoned Maple? How very dare you! I'll have you know that our pies are renowned for the diverse culture that grows on them. In fact soop sends pies to us that are so mouldy they're used in medical research. Like taking penicillin before you actually need it.

No I changed my mind, he deserves to be solo and I hope to God Hans knees and Boomsa Daisy doesn't do the actions to the Hans knees and toes song!

And this is Han Solo. You can see why. Please note, he seems to have no Euros or anything else for that matter in his pockets which could mean that we're going to have to provide free board and lodging at the Argy. Do we have any spare rooms at the new gaff?

Yes, perhaps I should, Charleygirl. ?

Marydoll has asked me to post a couple of photos of her holiday acquisitions:

This is Hans Nees Boompsa Daisy

Mapleleaf I would be inclined to bring my own bacon and alcohol- then you know that you will not be poisoned because it is out of date by a week or two.

Yes Marydoll it’s the thought that counts! ?. Perhaps I can have a bacon sarnie instead with a nice glass of something. I’ll bring my own bread.

What about Hans solo or is he too shy? I like the quiet ones

Jalima that app will go down a storm in the Argy ?
The laydees all have an embarrassing problem after having the dodgy sandwiches. They can now cover up their embarrassment, by blaming the app.?

Actually, I'm still in Berlin.
One of the Hans has a Lear Jet and flew me over with the sausages, as I knew Mapleleaf had a craving. Well, actually not quite true.
I wanted to check out where the new Argy was, as I suspected you were all trying to ditch me because of my magnetism with the men. I can't help it if they are all mesmerised by me. ?
Hans (across the sea), Hans (up), Hans (down), Hans,(everywhere), ( wandering) Hans , Hans (me down) and Hans ( free), will all be returning with me on Friday.
We will be bringing a supply of Bratwurst, so please ensure, there are no wagging tails around. ( Sorry, Iam64).
PS, the swear box is empty. On my way back from buying the Bratwurst at the "Everything 1 euro" shop, I spotted a Veuve Clique champagne bar with some very handsome, YOUNG men in sharps suits.
The rest they say, is history.
Cheers???????