Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Look in the cellar Lemon, there are quite a few cast offs down there, Mary knows them all and yes I fed the ferret

And I’m wearing Perfume Only! just like Marilynn used to,
Doo dooby doo!
Whatever happened to those two nice young men that used to work for Jane Anusol and Germolene?
Has anybody fed the ferret today?
In that case I shall lock up the bar.

Not bad Doodle but as it's so hot I am wearing a boob tube and a pair of cut off shorts but I'm going to wear my diamanté necklace and high heels to add a bit of class

Well if we are improving the Argy's image I better dress up a bit. I have on my diamanté tiara (ignore the rusty bits) a very low cut crimplene velvet overall evening dress with clogs a lovely pair of sparklingly sandals. Will I do? ?

I say Bartlett is a bit of alright, the uniform could do with a scrub but apart from that ...

Jane, how classy, visiting the Argy in a chauffeur driven Rolls. We could do with improving the Argy image.
Does your chauffeur wear a UNIFORM? We do like a uniform.
Will you also be bringing your lackey (in a UNIFORM ) to carry your handbag?
Just a little word of warning, some of the clientele have "sticky fingers" and it's not from eating the pork scratchings.

Oh Pedro is gorgeous! Having seen that you're attracting such talent to the Argy Bargy I may get Bartlett my chauffeur to drive me round for a visit sometime. I'm so glad things have improved so much.

I can tell you, I have tried everything to erase the image of Pedro from my brain. It just ain't happening. I have had to have counselling.
If you think the face is awful, you should see the rest of him! Well, perhaps better not!

This is Pedro. Once seen never forgotten.

What, Pedro the one armed bandit? Is he in town? Lock up yer daughters!?

You need to check the wooden leg as I scratched my initials on the bottom of it after my 'meeting' with the admiral, then again I suppose he could have swapped it with Pedro.

Look out for his very large hands!?The bigger the chest, the better, as far as he is concerned.??????

Well I must admit being a relative newcomer to the Argy I am not sure what the Admiral looks like. lemon asked me to escort him back to the ship so I just grabbed hold of the first chap I saw and off we went. He did have a patch over one eye and a parrot on his shoulder ...and now I come to think of it he was very interested in my treasure chest..if you know what I mean

? Doodle, it couldn't have been the Admiral, you took back to the ship. He and I have been together all evening, reminiscing? about the good old days and "getting to know" one another again, if you get my drift.?. ?
So whom did you take back to the ship.?
He did have a twin brother, (Pedro, the pirate), but he was lost at sea, many ??????ago. No.....it couldn't be, could it. He did, however, have a penchant for ferrets.

meno .

Was he dancing the horn pipe by any chance?

I did as you asked lemon and took the admiral back to his ship. He didn't have any coat pockets so I stuffed a few ferrets in his trouser pockets. I think there may have been holes in his pockets though because he seemed to be doing a very strange dance on his way back to the ship (quite agile for a man with only one leg) and he he kept saying something was nipping at his bits. ? Not sure what he meant.

I hope the ferrets don't chew the admirals wooden leg

Ah well, am very fond of the little blighters.We can’t have too many, we can cuddle one each.
Whatever you do, don’t sell the admiral any more vodka, he is legless already ( and he only had the one leg to start with)
Put a few of those ferrets in his coat pockets and send him back to his ship.Perhaps you could see him back safely Doodle as he fell into the dock last time.?

I warned her Doodle, but would she listen? NO! It will be the rats all over again!

It seems lemon's'boy' ferret must have been a girl because Blaze has now given birth to Blear and Blair and Blurr. So now we have 4 ferrets to cope with. I know you said they reproduced quickly lemon but this is ridiculous. At this rate we will be overrun within the week. Ferret stew anyone? ?

Blurr could well be on the end of your old floor mop Doodle. In fact, I'll insert the mop handle myself.

Blair is cute but keep him out of my ginger wig please

Too late chewy sorry. I have an old floor mop you could borrow as a wig. It's got a few bits not sure what they are stuck to it but i could give it a quick flush ? and I'm sure it would do the job nicely. ?

That was NOT my hat. That was my new summer hairpiece that I've been saving up for all week. I'm supposed to be one of the sitters for the drawing class and I was going as Lady Godiva. Seeing as how I won't need to spend money on new clothes, I invested in a new wig. Get Blear off my wig NOW!