Why don't people give up their seats to the needy?

Back ‘in the day’ ehen children paid 1/2 fare for bus etc there was an expectation that they would either stand or sit on mums knee if an adult required a seat.
I find it disheartening to see toddlers being given seats, when people in more need ( older, frailer, less stamina!) are required to stand

It's not just people offering seats, it's the other examples of bad manners.
The other day, I went to catch a train into Glasgow. The carriage door next to me wouldn't open and as I moved up the platform to get on the train, I was pushed out of the way by the many young people who were standing on the platform. Not as much as an "Excuse me", from any of them.
Later on, I was waiting for a lift in a dept store, when a young mother came up with her partner. When the lift arrived, she and her partner barged in front of me and positioned the pram, so that it was difficult for myself and another lady to get in, despite the fact that we had been there before her.
It doesn't matter whether you are young or elderly, good manners cost nothing.
It could all be due to the fact that I am so small, I am invisible.

It works both ways.
As a student (in the seventies) I remember holding shop doors for people and them walking through without a smile or a thank you - I usually called out “You’re welcome!”
With regard to children using seats on public transport, anyone under 30 has grown up with seatbelts in cars so are used to having their own seats. Parents think they are safer having their own seat rather than standing, although why they don’t pull younger ones onto their knees I don’t know.

Some posters have remarked about hidden disabilities and the need sometime for a seat not being obvious. This happens whenever my daughter takes my DGS on the bus or train. He is 6ft tall she is 5ft but she oftens seats him then stands beside him. He is autistic and has panic attacks in crowded situations and unfortunately sometimes its unavoidable to travel at other times or means. Some people have made rude comments and have verbally abused him for not standing. I wish people would be a little more careful and consider there may be something they are not aware of going on.

hazbeen I couldn’t agree more. Youth is, unfortunately, not a guarantee of good health.

I honestly don’t mind standing, I’m 66 and fortunate to still be quite fit. It doesn’t seem right that I get a seat simply by virtue of my age.

This would not have happened in Edinburgh. I’ve live here 9 months and the young and old give up the necessary seat. This goes for parents with proms. They are so much more considerate here. It was the best move I’ve made, I just love it here and the people are amazing

Although I am only 62 I often use a walking stick when I'm out, I do find this helps as it makes my disability visible. I don't use buses/trains/tube at the moment but have experienced both sides of the coin. I have had young men (late teens/early 20s) help me onto buses if I've had several bags. Travelling by train with a suitcase I rarely have to ask if someone can help me on/off train, again often the young ones, male & female & also had them ask are you ok from here.

I cannot bear rudeness whether from young or old. I always thank someone who holds open a door, man woman or child, I also hold doors open for others.

On the subject of elderly taking the piss the michael, when I was working I was queuing in M&S Food Hall in my lunch break an elderly lady asked if she could go in front of me as she only had 1 item, she was put firmly in her place as I had limited time

I travel on public transport quite frequently in the Melbourne, Victoria, CBD. I am a fit and well grey haired 67 year old and I must say I am very pleasantly surprised how often I am offered a seat. Usually I decline but am very particular in thanking the person for their kind offer and, if I decline, explaining that I am not travelling very far.

At first there is the OMG realization that I have reached that age but most important is the recognition that, even if you don't need the seat at this time, you are really appreciative of the courtesy and consideration that prompted the offer. I have seen some pretty crabby and ungracious old people on public transport and they do us all a great disservice.

The man in the report was blind. This does not make him incapable of standing....or am I missing something here?

I live near Bristol and found that people will give up their seats. When we were in Prague my 18 year old son didn't leap out of his seat when an elderly lady got on the tram. He got verbal abuse from the other passengers until he realised what she wanted. He complained that he was already sat down so didn't see why he should give up his seat ( I was telling him to stand as well but as usual Mum's ignored)

Thankfully the penny dropped and after that first time he was aware of the expected protocol. Elderly and pregnant women first then elderly men and mother/father with lap sitting toddler. Then adults, then teenagers and children

I am 67....I would not expect someone to give up their seat for me. I have seen young people give up their seats for the elderly who cannot stand. If an older person is fit and able to stand they should not expect someone to give them a seat just because of their age.

I always give up my seat to someone older than me or in poor health (and I'm 64!). My sons were always brought up to give up there seats, now 40, 37, 34 and 33, and my grandchildren have been brought up to do the same. I think its all about manners, and how your brought up. Unfortunately nowadays we are a diverse culture, and have different ideas on things? I think men in particular are not sure what to do nowadays, as a slightly different senario..but women are offended sometimes if a man open a door, or offers a seat...personally I cant get my head around it, but sign of the times?

I was on the tube a couple of years ago and an older lady with a walking stick got on. I looked around at all the young people, heads down engrossed in their screens or music, and as it became obvious none of them were going to give up their seats for this lady I stood up and offered her mine. She replied in a very loud voice “ that’s very kind of you but I’m going to wait for this young man ( aimed at the guy in the reserved seat) to give me his seat. He was suitably chastised and gave her his seat and I quietly chuckled to myself all the way to my destination. Good for her.

So it seems the consensus is that it is about manners. Why then, do some of us live in well-mannered areas and some in very bad-mannered areas? Is there really that much difference in upbringing in different parts of the country? So sad.

Theoddbird yes you are missing something. Reading the article would be a good start to understand the issues of a crowded train, a slippy floor and having to hang onto something. Your post seems to show you are missing compassion as well. HTH

I was thinking just the same maryeliza . I can’t begin to imagine being blind and standing on a crowded bus or train . Must be very frightening indeed .

Some years ago I got on to a full underground train in St Petersberg . Within a heartbeat a mother told her daughter, about seven years old, to get up and give me her seat. Obviously a normal thing to do in Russia!

I rarely travel by bus but the route I sometimes use (single decker TFL) is really awful mainly because of the appalling braking that most drivers seem to enjoy demonstrating. DH always gives up his seat to a person with a small child who are standing as it is usually very difficult for the parents to hang onto the child, the shopping and themselves safely.

I’d like to hear from other 37-year old able-bodied blind people.

He’s reported to be a Dad but did have an armful of young children with him.

And his guide dog is fine sitting on the floor ready to help at its master’s feet.

Frankly, I’d have stayed sitting too unless I was occupying a seat reserved for a blind person.

According to ATOS a recent statement put out by those assessing people for pip blindness is not a disability, although the train manger should have been called, if the man felt that he needed special seating.
We must never assume that "one size fits all" Did any one see the travel show on BBC news this morning the reporter was blind and more or less stone deaf and travelled alone, this time he was in the Holy lands and fiercely indipendant
Recently I saw a notice in the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital proclaiming " NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE OBVIOUS" and so its not wise to generalise or there is a danger of patronising those who strive to be independent, I have been helped by the train managers and we must acknowledge the role of they play and resist all attempts by disingenuous train companies to move towards making trains one man operated

Most young people have not been taught to offer their seats to the elderly or infirm. Others have been brought up to believe that having paid for their bus or train ticket they are just as entitled to sit down as any other traveller.

I'm not saying either attitude is right, but this is the way a lot of people think.

Here in Denmark the situation is much like the one you are describing in the UK - youngsters from immigrant backgrounds are far more likely to have been taught to rise for their elders, whom they are brought up to respect.

There is a great difference here between countries, as French children are still seemingly being brought up to offer their seats to others. Public transport in France, Germany and now again here in Denmark has reserved seats for the elderly, invalids and adults with small children in their arms.

In the states we have the same problem and it really bothers me especially at a restaurant while waiting. But my mother used to tell us to let someone who is older, not even necessarily needy , sit down. I did the same putting my children on my lap.

Some years ago on a crowded carriage, I picked up my heavy bags and offered my seat to a pregnant woman. She mumbled her thanks, sat down, unbuttoned her coat to reveal a hip bag on her tummy - not pregnant! Meanwhile, I struggled to stay upright next to her.

Whenever I traveled with my mother, I would approach the passenger sitting in the priority seat to ask if they would be kind enough to let her have their seat. We have never been let down or disappointed.

The situation I dislike is when a passenger stands there grumbling, murmuring annoyingly about the lack of seats. For goodness' sake - just ask nicely. If you get turned down, then speak up and moan loudly and clearly!

It’s completely irrelevant what ATOS think (do remind me of the accuracy of their track record in judging disabled people as fit for work).Blindness IS a disability under all the relevant legislation. As for needing to hear from other 37 year old able bodied blind people - oh come on. This particular blind man felt he needed a seat for safety and security - if others don’t that’s fine - different people will handle the apparently same disability differently and we should respect that. It’s similar to how pregnant women feel - some welcome a seat, some are happy to stand. It should be THEIR choice when offered not the choice of able bodied mind readers. And there are no seats marked for blind people as I’m sure you know Grampie what a charming post. I’d also like to point out the dangerous slippy floors of crowded commuter trains on rainy mornings - not only is there all the wet brought in in people’s shoes, coats and umbrellas,there are also commonly slicks of coffee and wet newspapers littering the floor. At least I’m able to see these hazards but how it must be if you cannot must be awful.

I always ask anyone of around my age or above if they'd like my seat. Its just good manners.