Bully made to run to school

Ah, so it must be the "american way" of dealing with this issues, the Donald Trump method. While I agree with walking to school, public humiliation is a form of bullying.

My question is what turns a human being into a bully. ? Is the one doing the bullying also being bullied and where is this coming from?.Were it my child rather than denying a lift to school I would find out more from the school. Also in view of what this child is doing if the school feel the child is being bullied at home they don't have to inform the parents that the school will be contacting social services with their feelings. . Appearing on TV was in my opinion wrong. Humiliating a ten year old child in front of the world is sadistic and shameful.

Well it is in America and they have a totally different outlook on child care.
Best Wishes
Joseph Grennell
Child Psychotherapist

Here we go again. Some folk just can't resist bringing Donald Trump into it.



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Since when was walking a mile to school a punishment for a ten year old. He will be fitter than the children on the bus so really it's a reward.
Bullying should be punished so that children see that there are consequences as a result of their actions. Privileges should be removed and apologies should be given to victims.
In no circumstances ever would public humiliation be of benefit to anybody.

jimbow
3 of my grandchildren are American and their parents would never punish them by bullying and humiliating them.

It was fine to make the boy walk/run to school but not to put it on social media or to go on tv to publicise it. Let's blame the tv company as well for instigating the interview. The 'news' item I saw from America was boys being rude to the school bus driver and made to walk to school holding a placard. Was this a different incident? I'm all for 'the punishment fits the crime' - the walking, not the placard. If older children live near school, they don't really need lifts anyway. I walked over a mile to school daily under the supervision of an older child from a very young age. We had no car anyway and lived within the 3 mile zone so no free bus pass!

I did feel sorry for the boy having to run. Bullying is certainly not acceptable but I felt the dad was right in some of the things he said but NOT when he hoped people enjoyed laughing at the video.
It was a mean thing to put it on social media.

Disagree totally with Lynnebo or anyone who thinks the father has done the right thing The right thing would be done in private and in correct proportions and the most important part of parenting is to find out why a child is doing something wrong He may be bullying because he is bullied

....I notice from my response my stint as the school bus prefect has obviously scarred me

Public humiliation always seems wrong to me, and doubly so when it's a parent inflicting it on a child.

I watched the video on the link and I was a little bit understanding the Dad's position until he gave the boy's name and said "if you want a little bit of a laugh" .
No, funny was not a thought that entered my head.

He was not only humiliating the boy, but boosting his own Ego by telling everyone what a great parent he was.

(Or was not.)

Janeainsworth
Responsibility for ones child and its actions start in the home. I would question what is taking place in the child's home. You are of the opinion the school could have done more so what should they have done that would have prevented this bullying.? Was this child a bully while on school premises? if so then clearly the parents should have been consulted what actions the school would take. It appears it was carried out on a bus and the bus company took actions themselves.

I didn’t feel at all comfortable with this. I wonder what the father would have resorted to if the boy refused to run? Also if his father walked with him to school it may have been enough humiliation for a 10-year-old, as his school-mates would see his dad with him, therefore having ‘a little bit of a laugh’ on their own part.

sarahellenwhitney I agree that the primary responsibility for children is the parents’.

But schools have a pastoral duty to the children in their care and that includes the bullied as well as the bullies.
Parents don’t have any control over the school environment, so it may be that the cause of the bullying comes from the school rather than the home.
I think if children see that parents and the school are acting together and cooperating in managing a child’s behaviour, there will be a better outcome.

In this particular case, yes the bullying was on a school bus (which I gather in America are private businesses and separate from the school) but that doesn’t alter the fact that the children attend the same school and it’s unlikely that the bully would confine his activity to the bus.
Most schools have anti-bullying policies with the aim of reducing this behaviour for the benefit of the school community.

Social media has its place. We have all disciplined our children. I do remember a few occasions 20 yrs ago. No parties being grounded but our son was bullied. Most bullies are cowards and eventually they are sacked from their schools. Our son felt so sorry for this boy when he found out his parents had thrown him out of Home aged 16.
He was sleeping at various places and was quite dangerous. So my DH stepped in on behalf of our son and picked this boy up took him home to his parents. Told the father off for not being a real man or father to him His mother was relieved. Not sure what happened after this but our son told us recently that this boy who is now a man was great. They had a beer he thanked our son as his mother eventually had the courage to leave his Dad. He went to night school to finish his education and is now working in an engineering company.
Sometimes the Fathers are bullies

Slightly at a tangent here but behaviour on the bus to and from school is not the responsibility of the school. It's a shame that, living only a mile away, this boy didn't already walk or run to and from school. Wouldn't it be good if the lad's father organised a running group to encourage more children to walk or run to and from school? Other parents could become involved and it would do them good too. It would keep a few cars off the road at school time and wake up the children's brains ready for learning. They could all wear brightly coloured bibs for safety and a sense of belonging. Bullying might be reduced too.

When I was a child, any punishment aimed at humiliating me only made me more stroppy and difficult.

still does.

I don't really like posts/videos likethat being put on social media. Once it's there, you can never get rid of it and could cause difficulties in the future.

A lot of the time, imo, people want attention - be it good or bad. The 'look at me' culture has now extended into shaming others, which this father has done.

Post what you want I say, but be aware you may 'reap what you sow'.

This sounds like a story I read this week about a woman who’s sons had been rude to the bus driver and so she walked them to school with a sign around their necks saying how far they were walking and why,if I remember rightly it took over an hour and they were late for school but their pictures were also posted online.
The older boy said sorry and was allowed to get the bus next day but the younger one wouldn’t apologise so had to walk the next day as well

The boy had been banned from the school bus for three days after extreme bullying of other pupils. That meant the parents had to take him to school. I have a feeling the school knew the father was a bully, hoped he would show a better example to the child to teach both a lesson. Instead the father went overboard and filmed his boy running ahead of his car and posted on social media? That child has not learnt a lesson, he knows that by putting an incident on social media will get him lots of publicity. The punishment backfired spectacularly. That father was way out of order.

I don't agree with making him run - maybe a brisk walk would be OK - and I certainly disagree with him videoing and broadcasting it. What sort of a parent does that?!

The fact that the son allegedly thinks it's OK is irrelevant. He is probably scared of his dad.

I'm uncomfortable with OP posting the YouTube link on GN.

The whole story is pretty awful really.

Was this child a bully while on school premises? if so then clearly the parents should have been consulted what actions the school would take. It appears it was carried out on a bus and the bus company took actions themselves.

I think the idea of making him run (or perhaps walk) to school was a good one, but it was appalling behaviour on the father's part to put this on social media and humiliate the child in that way.
It could even build up resentment and anger and result in a Catch 22 situation with the child becoming more of a bully as he grows older.

Sorry, I meant to reply to your post which I highlighted sarahellenwhitney.
I know of a similar situation. Parents, the school and the bus company were all involved and we all hope it has now been resolved satisfactorily. Funnily enough, the bully was apparently very well-behaved at school but I don't know about his home life.