Looking back

wotnot - Thank you for this posting. It's come at a pretty emotional, anxiety filled time in my life - I'm waiting to have an ultrasound after a mammogram and callback. So I'm thinking "what if"s" right now.
I can look back and see good times and not-so-good times, some victories, and some situations when I think "I wish I had done better".
What is is what is. I have today.

NannaM, wishing you good results with your mammogram.

I realize, particularly after reading some of these posts, how lucky I've been. My start in life was a bit uncertain, but four years later it perked up when my much loved stepfather came into our lives. My goodness, that really was our lucky day as things could have been so different! I married at 21 a lovely man/boy!! We had two great children, both worked hard, shared highs and lows, been through the ups and downs of family life, but now in the twilight of our lives, we're still happy in each others company, kiss each other goodnight, and help each other with daily tasks where we can. Our children are financially successful, much more than we've been, although we've been luckier in love!! Our grandchildren are well, clever, and nice to be with. My only slight regret is that we didn't travel more, finance just would allow it!! I know I've been lucky, and I am very grateful for it.
annie, I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so sad. I wish I could help, but I can send you a virtual hug and more to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Thanks wotnot - crossing fingers!

How I could have relaxed when I was younger if I'd known how wonderful my life would be.

I never thought I would end up divorced with young children; my husband was always voted 'least likely to stray' by friends and neighbours. WRONG!!

I never had any plans as such, I just drifted really. I married in my mid-twenties and things seemed hunky-dory, we moved down the the coast. My teachers would be horrified if they knew that I've had low paid jobs as opposed to a proper career.
I certainly didn't expect to be widowed in my mid-fifties, but hey, life's not so bad. Sometimes I wish that I'd chosen a different path career-wise and had listened more in maths classes at school.

I didn't have any plans really, which is just as well, I think, because they wouldn't have included any of the things that have happened. Not all how I imagined my life could be, sadly.

I didn't have plans. Being top of the class in typing and shorthand I gravitated towards office work and had some very interesting employment.
Spent time living in north Africa, Europe, and have travelled world wide.
Unheard of in the 60s.
My knight in shining armour .... wasn't. Too many years were spent trying to make the unworkable work.... literally. So many road bumps that evenually the wheels fell off my wagon.

However my second knight in shining armour keeps his armour sparkling... even after 23 years. He would fix the wheels on my wagon.

Nowadays young adults consider careers rather than just a job which is good.
I'd tell my younger self to think more of myself, I was better than I realised and capable of much more than I achieved, or was led to believe I could achieve.

Having said that, I am happier than ever. comfortable if not rich. Sometimes the bumps in the road still happen but I'm experience has taught me that I don't need to fix everything for everyone.
Family are all settled and I can only hope that a good and happy life continues for each of them.

I never really had plans but, looking back, there were several times in my life when I really longed for something - the chap I fell in love with when I was fourteen and and have been married to since 1966, the career I eventually had, children and grandchildren who are all lovely, and a house which I looked at for years, wishing we could buy it and eventually did. It has been our family home for half my life.

Of course there were many other things I thought I wanted but didn't happen, but looking back, none of them seem important now.

I hope I can say I have been lucky without seeming smug. It doesn't mean I have had a charmed life with no problems. Of course I've had problems and can't actually remember any time when I had nothing to worry about but I think I have been very fortunate and reading the stories of others on GN, I certainly do count my blessings.

Anniebach so sorry to hear your story. My life has not turned out how I hoped. But I try to make the most of the cards I’ve been dealt. I always remember the saying..
Always be kind as everyone you see is fighting a battle of their own.

After reading all these interesting replies one thing stands out for me - keeping in good health.
Life won't always be easy and happy, but if you have good health you can usually cope with the ups and downs.
The only thing I can think of for myself is that I wanted to have 2 boys and 2 girls. Which I did, but not in the way I expected - many problems along the way.
But TG things are going ok family-wise at the moment.
And I was very fortunate to have a long and interesting work life.

Having been brought up in a council house with very little money and creature comforts, my main ambitions when I was a child were to one day own my own house and have wall to wall fitted carpets instead of lino! I do own my own house but I have wooden floorboards. I would never had imagined that this could be fashionable rather than a sign of poverty.

Hello wotnot. That's a great question. I don't think I had a life plan beyond wanting a husband, home and family. My OH knew he wanted a military career but no plans beyond that. Married 56 years, 2 DS and 5 GC so I suppose things turned out almost the way I hoped but with lots of added diversions along the way. Never dreamed we'd end our years living in the sun. So lucky.

No plans as such, but parents divorced in 1960 (such a no-no then!) Hopes of Uni, but I got pregnant at 17. Thank goodness my lovely mum helped me. Years go by, I'm 21, with a three year old, and working....go to college....have a teaching career,.... Meanwhile I have two loving relationships with decent men. They end because one is kind but gay (how did I not see this?!) and the other is kind but uncommitted. .. Eventually met DH and the rest, as they say, is history. So happy and been so lucky. DS got married so now have a lovely DiL and two DGC. Now DH & I are retired, happy, and feel so blessed.

Anniebach, you've been and are a lovely friend to me despite your own problems. You deserve happiness. ☺

My only plan was not to have any regrets about missed opportunities.
On the whole I've been very lucky and regularly count my blessings.

Marmight {{{ hugs}}}

Exactly as planned (woven in was a bit of sadness through what I call normal life that we all have to deal with).

Some might say it was boring but it was enough for me.

The good thing about getting older is wanting less and also realising there aren't that many more years to expect good things to happen and just being content to survive.

I wanted to be a Vet but decided I couldn't cope with operating on animals although I'm not squeamish (I once calved a cow on my own, long story), thought about being a Nanny but ended up focusing on Catering, I'm shy but quite sociable

I married at 22 when H & I took over the Tenancy of a Pub, H kept his job whilst I ran the Pub, he would phone several times a day & question everything I'd done when he wasn't there. I met someone else (a Pub regular, married with 4 children), left H after 6 months. My new Partner left his Wife & we had DD 5 years later.

We married when DD was 4, 15 months into the Marriage H2 walked out on us, I lost the house, had to give up my job as a Barmaid. I got a place at College & studied for 3 years moving to a new area. I had almost finished my College Course when I met DH3, fell madly in love & within 3 months DD & I had moved 250 miles away to live with him & his 2 children.

I had always wanted a large family, ended up with 1 of my own & 6 step-children

After DH retired I took Early Retirement (he was 14 years older than me & his health wasn't good). We downsized 5 years later & moved to Somerset, sadly he died 14 months after we moved, I lost the love of my life. I was only 57 when I was Widowed.

2 years later I moved again to be near DD & DGS, new life, new area, new friends. I'm 62 & loving life, now 2 DGS, DD is happy with her OH.

I would never have imagined I would move far from Yorkshire but my life has taken me from Yorkshire to Lancashire to Middlesex (Surrey) to Somerset to Devon where I plan to live out my days

No life plan although at 17 I thought I may become an Army wife until that relationship ended

My DM is still living in Yorkshire, in her own home, relatively healthy, she celebrates her 89th Birthday tomorrow & has already planned for her 90th next year

I always wanted to be a teacher and have babies.
Ive just finished 39 years of teaching and have 3 adult children.
What I didnt plan for was the misery of an emotionally and financially ist husband, a terrible mistake rebound 2nd marriage and the sadness that Ive missed out on a " normal" happy families" sort of life.

Emotionally and financially abusive 1st husband that should read.
3rd time lucky, my lovely partner of 13 years has taken the edge off the sadness. Despite people saying you shouldnt have regrets, I do. If I hadnt married my first husband the whole of my life would have been better. Although I wouldnt have had my eldest 2 of course.

Always wondered what life had in store for me. In my mid 30s eventually found a man who I wanted to 'settle down' with and we had two much wanted children. My husband unexpectedly died when children were in their early 20s. Then I just wanted to see my children happy and settled and didn't have much thought for me. Ten years on, totally shocked at the age of 70 to fall in love at first sight with an absolutely charming man - last thing on my mind. Am now wondering once again what life has in store for me!

Life was fun until I was in my early 20's then it all changed and I had to become "normal". The fun went, the dreams, the aspirations - everything just became dull, mundane and run of the mill. Work but not a career or profession, holidays but not travelling and adventure, house but never truly a home. Not at all what I expected and not what others would have expected for me, knowing the bright, happy, adventurous, intelligent up-for-anything girl I was.