My boy has flown

That 1st taste of empty nest syndrome always hurts ?

Oh dear this is such a heartfelt thread
Like so many others my "baby" (son now 40!) has lived in Scandinavia for most of the last 15 years with his wife and 2 children. Have seen them most years when they visited Oz & have visited them quite a few times but this is getting harder as the kids get older due to Scandinavian schools taking a very dim view of taking kids out of school outside holiday periods. I try to take comfort in the fact that they have a great life in a beautiful and safe country but I still miss them & know that I do not have the same close relationship that I have with my 5 Oz grandchildren. Its an awfully long way from southern Australia to Scandinavia. But I would find it even harder if they lived in an unsafe or unstable country.
I find Viber on my phone a great way to catch up and we have set up various msg chat groups which has made a big difference in keeping my son in the family conversation loop & for expressing parenting frustrations with his siblings and enjoying family jokes.
It comes into the"it is what it is " category but it's hard. Sympathsize with all the UK parents whose offspring end up in Oz. We really do live in a global world now.

Hope you are feeling a bit better. I always sobbed when leaving mine at uni, not just the first time but every time. I found I soon got a grip and life goes on and it is lovely to hear about their adventures. I hope he has a wonderful 2 years.

Both my elder children went off traveling alone, to the other side of the world, aged nearly 19, before university. I cried all the way home from the airport. My son then had to defer a second year after an accident abroad, came home, got better and set off for a second year in the Antipodes after winning £1,500 in the first month of the National Lottery. My daughter completed her degree, worked to save up and set off to the Far East. On her own again. I cried most of the way home then too. But they came back eventually, got jobs eventually and knuckled down.
You will feel better in a few weeks minxie and enjoy the emails, knowing he is enjoying life.
Incidentally my youngest didn’t want to go travelling, said she would never leave me, met a New Zealander in London and has now been gone for 15 years?

for all of you who have children living permanently abroad - my DD lives five minutes drive away but my DS lives five hours drive away and I cry every time he leaves! He went to Australia for his gap year and I was so hoping he wouldn’t stay.
You have all done a great job bringing up such confident and capable young people.
Minxie if you can possibly afford it book that flight, then you can count down the days, and in the meantime fill your diary with happy/useful things.

Whatsapp... free calls assuming wifi, asynchronous messages, ability to send snaps. And you know when they're alive because it tells you when they were online last :P
My eldest is in Canada, I know the syndrome; sending you hugs.

My DD at 21 decided to move to Devon from Middlesex (Surrey), time for her to stretch her wings, she did move with friends & then found here own flat.

I had to remember that I had moved DD when I met DH from Lancashire to Middlesex, taking her away from her GPs, she is DM's only GC.

2 moves later I now live in Devon, about 11 miles from DD & DGSs, do I see a lot of them - no, but we do talk every day or two. I can understand the heartbreak of DC moving abroad, I brought DD up to be independent & knew she would fly the nest just as I did.

I so know how you are feeling! My daughter, husband and twin grandchildren left end of Oct 17 to live in New Zealand and I am counting down the sleeps until I can fly out soon! Agree with Grannyl, book a flight as soon as!

My son went to Sydney age 21 for a year. Met a girl and never came back. On the plus side we now have 2 grandchildren aged 10 & 6 and I go every year to see them. The ache never goes away that you can’t physically hug or touch them and I feel flat when I return for a while but life out there is better for them.

Aww I feel for you so much
My boy went to Oz and now lives there with his wife
He’s happy healthy what more can I ask.
Miss him every single day and often think of the times when he was growing up with his siblings.
Happy memories

Yggdrasil im still in the motion of bringing up my boys but I am 100% on board with having my boys not needing me in their adult years. I will always be there but I want them to be confident to make good choices without my input. My biggest thing is that, they will eventually be husbands and fathers, I want them to have the life skills to cope with that responsibility.

My 25 year old baby went on 27 Dec Minxie, but only for 6 months (hopefully). He actually works with us in our small family business so he's missed daily for that too - especially as it means DH and I only have Saturdays off for 6 months! We cried when we dropped him and his girlfriend at the airport too and I felt a bit lost when DD returned home to Spain with our oldest 2 DGC just a week later. I know that's not as far but where she lives is very rural (no mains water or electricity) so a hire car is a must and I won't drive over there so can only go when we can both go. She has a smallholding so the animals, and paying guests, mean it's very difficult for her to get away too.
I'm very glad other DS and his lovely partner and our other 2 DGC just live around the corner and can walk home after a glass of wine with Sunday dinner!

My heart goes out to you especially as I am in the same position. My only son, daughter in law and two beautiful grandchildren head off to Melbourne for 2 years on the 21st. At the moment I still can’t believe it will actually happen and am having to keep my own emotions on such a tight rein so I don’t upset the little ones. I have looked after them at least one day a week for the last two and a half years so there will be an enormous hole in my life. Still on the brighter side would never have got DH on a long haul flight anywhere without this and he may get to like it! Book a flight and then you can at least count the days down to a visit.

Mine went to Australia for 6 months. That was 3 years ago and he's recently been home for a visit for the first time since then. I do understand how you feel, but before that he was in the military and went to some much terrible places. That was when I nearly went out of my mind with worry. As much as I miss him now I feel lucky that he came back from those places relatively unscathed when so many didn't. Despite all that I still cry because I miss him so much, but I am proud that he's living his life to the full.

minxie you have my empathy. My DD and her husband went 3 yrs ago for a job opportunity. It absolutely destroyed me. I cried for months as we were so very close. We kept in contact endlessly, Whatsapp, Imessage, FaceTime etc. We are lucky enough to visit her each year and so far she has come back each year. However, they applied and now have permanent residency and my worst fear is being realised....they are buying a house and staying there. I am slowly adjusting, but will never fully accept it. Totally selfish of me. They have a fab life there, it just feels like a rejection! Which of course it isn't!! As my husband points out daily, we brought them up to seize and opportunity if they saw it! They did...just 10,000 miles away! Hopefully your boy has a great time and the 2 years will fly by. It is a great place to visit. The tears may flow for while....just let them flow....you will adjust. Good Luck

When I was expecting my first child, one of my mother's friends congratulated me but also pointed out to that my child would be "on loan." They would be gone in just a few years. I never realised just how quickly those years would pass! Mind you, much as I love my children and really enjoy spending time with them , I really can't imagine them living back here with us now. ?

Minxie. How I feel for you. My 3 DD's went to Oz aged 24, 21 and 18. 2 came home after a year but the middle one didn't. She found a husband and now has 4 children. It was very hard to bear at first but after a while you cope and it becomes the norm. The upside is I have fantastic holidays there every year. Embrace it and be happy for your 'baby'

Minixi, you have done a good job you have given your child the foundations to build a life on and the confidence to go and have an adventure in an other country.
Well done you! ?

The first few days are the most difficult, so keep busy.
Then gradually it will become easier and you will start to look forward to your chats an texts.
Maybe a tonight.

I think I just want to say that having your children grow up is better than the alternative

Minxie sad for you and I do feel for you. I hope he has a wonderful time and makes sure he shares his adventures with you by Skype etc.

Minxie you will miss him but he is 25 now, so has stayed around for a long time, and as others say, you can skype and email and phone.He may not stay the whole two years anyway and be homesick.
Our son had opportunities after Uni so didn’t come home, but you have to be pleased for them.
See your friends and keep busy for a while.?

Roots and wings. Two years will soon go by. My son has lived abroad for 15 years and won't ever be back permanently but you get used to the thought and find ways to compensate.

TBH, I thought this thread title was about someone losing a child so I am thankful it isn't as heartbreaking as that.

My son went to NZ 21 years ago to have a look around I knew in my heart he wouldn’t come back I see him about every five years and I always cry when I leave we speak every week (Skype is hard with time differences and it breaking up so stick to talking through the free phone on fb each Sunday morning) I love my two grandkids but don’t really know them

Oh dear, I know how you feel. Especially with your poor Dad being 90, it is so hard. For them it is the start of a big adventure, you just have to be supportive, and not let them know how you feel inside.

My son went down under on a 2 year working visa, that was eight years ago and he is still there! He did come back last year for a year, but now returned. We have only visited twice, due to money problems,.

We have a family WhatsApp group, all free, so we can easily stay in touch. If you Dad has a smart phone, he could be on it too, and it's so lovely getting little messages and photos of their latest travels.

It hurts but he's coming back try being happy for him. Mine went and only comes back to visit. Not Australia but it still takes some getting used to as I know he's never going to live close by.